Kids Drink Gasoline To Become A Transformer The Darndest Things
This is ugh log10 to the YIKES power. From Shanghai Daily:
A 14-YEAR-OLD boy drank gasoline for five years to obtain "energy" - just as his idols "Bumble Bee" or "Optimus Prime" do in "Transformers," the Sichuan-based West China Metropolis Daily reported yesterday.After the boy, in Yibin City, southwest Sichuan Province, had watched the animated TV series, he began to drink gasoline to become a "valiant fighter" like "Optimus Prime," his father told the newspaper.
"He began to drink gasoline five years ago, when we found he liked smelling lighter fuel," he said.
The boy's mother owned a grocery stall, selling small goods such as lighters.
I can't believe I have to say this, but don't drink gasoline, you guys. It will not turn you into a brave shape-shifting robot from the mythic shape-shifting robot-lion stories. The absolute worst part about this whole thing is that he "began" to drink gasoline five years ago. Began? How about he began to drink and then immediately stopped drinking gasoline five years ago, as soon as someone who was an adult, his parents or just any adult, found out he was drinking gasoline and made him stop drinking gasoline because COME ON, EVERYONE.
What's weird is that the Transformers don't actually drink gasoline, do they? I don't know. Maybe they do. Does anyone around here have a PhD in Transformers Studies who knows what the fuck goes on with Transformers? That stuff is complicated. It is literally a-waffle-iron-that-turns-into-a-rocket science.
Posted by Gabe at 12:15 PM in Bad Idea Jeans
Tags: Children | China | Gasolina | Robot Uprising | Transformers
I don't want to find out what will happen when he goes electric.
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Hybrids in disguise.
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Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
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Petro steampunk frappacinos!
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Gasoline, Snapple in disguise.
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Well, I can't wait until this is incorporated into Transformers 3! That kid is really that chick that turns into a robot! (What did I just say?)
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The parents talked to their son and asked him not to do it again. "But afterwards we found our motorcycle's gasoline was always disappearing, and one day when we found the boy had drunk a half bottle of gasoline stolen from the motorcycle, we were too shocked to say anything," the father said.
"Since my son started to drink gas, his IQ has dropped sharply and now he can't figure out simple addition and subtraction," the father said.
And that's the rest of the story.
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At first I thought: All that extra school and China's kids are just as stupid as ours. Then: Well he must be smart to conceal his gasoline drinking from everyone for 5 years, and also, he must have been aware that MOST PEOPLE would think his idea was a stupid one, because you can't just drink gasoline out in the open without someone at least voicing a minor objection "hey, that nine year old probably should not be drinking gasoline". Then I got a headache. But, 5 YEARS!? I'm stupidface too because I had no idea you could drink gasoline for five years and not die. Never occurred to me.
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I learned it by watching you, OK?! I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!
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LOU (LotsOfUpvotes? Sorry.)
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In other news, a 10 year old was found picking truckers on the road after watching 'Bruno'...
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i huffed gas for five years, but this chinese kid took it to the NEXT LEVEL.
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Hopefully he won't get tased:
This would suck!
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"Idiocracy" has begun.
(speaking of, begs for that tag, no?)
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Come awn, down voted? Cause letting your child drink gasoline for 5 years is a smart thing to do? Phooey.
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Can someone tell me how to add an avatar to my profile?
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yeah, go to the chevron, fill a glass with some hi-test, and gulp it down. the rest will come to you.
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You have to register here, on Vgum. It's easy. It's just your name (you get to pick your own!), and your email. Then you add a pic to your profile. Welcome to the innerwebz!
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Yeah I figured as much but when I click on my signed in name, it just takes me back to the page I was viewing so I can't see my profile. I was wondering if there was a way to get to my profile that I don't know about.
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I've had that problem too. If you click on your name from a comment you've posted, it will take you to your profile.
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Ah! Well I know I've been having a ton of sign-in probs too. Tech difficulties, I'm sure they're sorting it out. VGUM you are sorting it out, yah? I can't access my profile most days either. So, yr not alone. I'd wait it out. Gives you more time to find that perfect avatar.
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To be fair, he was probably just trying to re-create the experience of watching Transformers. It IS a lot like having motor oil forced down your throat.
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no one laugh or realize on devastator balls.
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"A 14-YEAR-OLD boy drank gasoline for five years to obtain "energy" - just as his idols "Bumble Bee" or "Optimus Prime" do in "Transformers...""
OK, I don't remember the Transformers drinking gasoline. He fails at knowing what his "idols" do. Of course, he also fails because he drank gasoline for five years.
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After the parents learned that their child was drinking two or three bottles a day, they decided to take him to a hospital. The doctor explained to the boy that he would not gain supernatural strength, but instead now has mental disorders from the lead and a strong “gasoline dependence.”
Hahaha. How cruelly blunt is that?
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The fuck is "gasoline dependence?"
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This boy will go down in the history books as the first(and hopefully last because seriously?) person to to gain a gasoline dependence. And think how much we'll learn about gasoline dependence now because of him. He's drinking gasoline to turn into a transformer so we don't have to.
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I can't believe a kid could commit to five years of ANYTHING.
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Plus, if it's not providing any superhuman powers in the first few years, you should probably quit. Five years just seems delusional. Among other things.
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srsly.
i'm 30 and the only thing i've done consistently, for five years at a time, is breathe,
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Whew. Thank god you said that. I didn't want to say anything, because: power, but MAN that shit tastes awful. It tastes like...well, gasoline. I'm gonna switch to beer now! Thank you, Videogum.
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I don't feel so stupid now. I actually drank gasoline after seeing Top Secret in the theaters. I also tried to eat a cigar too.
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I guess this means that we shouldn't tell the kid it comes in unleaded...
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So did he win a free tank?
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/23bd6f8f4f/human-giant-gas-guzzlers-w-fred-armisen-from-human-giant
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I find this interesting. Not because a child was allowed to drink gasoline for five years. Nope. I find this interesting because I always thought that if you drank gasoline you would die. It just seemed natural to me that drinking gasoline woulld automatically mean death, unlike a snake bit where if you can get to the doctor in time you can get an injection of anti-venom or whatever. Anyway if we have learned anything from this tragedy its that gasoline will not automatically kill you, in fact you can drink several bottles of the stuff.
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I'll bet you 20 bucks I can down a gallon.
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NB: You cannot Drink Gasoline
In adults, about 20 to 50 g can cause severe intoxication and 350 g (12 oz.) can result in death for a 70 kg individual. As little as 10 to 15 g (less than one-half ounce) may be fatal in children. Symptoms of intoxication by ingestion of gasoline can range from vomiting, vertigo, drowsiness and confusion to loss of consciousness, convulsions, hemorrhaging of the lungs and internal organs, and death due to circulatory failure.
http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/MHMI/mmg72.html
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"As little as 10 to 15 g (less than one-half ounce) may be fatal in children."
Oh yeah? Tell that to this kid.
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Is anyone else curious to know if drinking gas gives you gas. And if so, what does it make your flatus smell like?
Yep, that's a place and I just went there.
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Transformers get power from Energon, and only from Energon, as far as I know.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energon_(power_source)
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Professor Turtleneck?
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Gabe, I don't have a PhD in Transformers Studies, but I am currently working on my Master's Degree thesis on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
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So apparently Yibin City gas station attendants stopped caring...
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