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August 12, 2009

Hollywood Goes Full Retard: Legos Movie In Development

thumbnail icon: Hollywood Goes Full Retard: Legos Movie In Development

HOLLYWOOD SMASH IDEAS! HOLLYWOOD MAKE MOVIE IN PANTS! HOLLYWOOD NO WANT BE CALLED STUPID! HOLLYWOOD SMART! HOLLYWOOD HAVE FUDGE ON ITS FACE! From Variety (via /Film)

Movies based on toys couldn't be hotter in Hollywood, with nearly every studio adapting playthings for the bigscreen.

Now count Warner Bros. as one of those studios: WB is toying with plans to develop a movie around Lego and its popular building blocks.

Toys are SO HOT right now. You can just see someone in a sharkskin suit and loafers with no socks saying that into his bluetooth headset while his assistant sits next to the frappucino machine writing Rex Lee slash fiction. Also, I am pretty sure that movies based on toys are not hot right now. Making a billion dollars is what's hot right now. No one actually cares about this shit. Every single person involved with Transfomers 2 is like "Michael Bay is a genius at putting money in my bank account. He really added a lot of depth and human emotion to the amount of money in my bank account and the way that I feel about my bank account."

But also, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, A LEGOS MOVIE? Derisive snort! This is low even for you, Hollywood. I do like this part, though:

Directors and producers in town have attempted to make a Lego movie for years, approaching the Danish toymaker with various ideas, but Lego turned down most of them because it's highly protective of its brand.

Right. The most elusive project. I heard that Terry Gilliam only started trying to make Don Quixote de La Mancha because they were pushing him to do the Lego movie and he didn't want the headache. If anything, it's almost TOO GOOD of an idea, you know? You know. This guy knows:


"The Legos movie is my Breaking the Waves."

Legos movie. HAH!

Posted by Gabe at 9:45 AM in ,
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53 Comments

It shall be called Lego My Eggo because toy movies and food movies are both so hot right now.

Posted by: Bubbles profile link at 08/12/09 9:49 AM  | Reply
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So is don Quixote gonna be done in legos or not?

Posted by: DS3M profile link at 08/12/09 9:51 AM  | Reply
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"Lego my ego" - Michael Bay

Posted by: herrorara at 08/12/09 9:52 AM  | Reply
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I can't say I'm thrilled about the Lego project, but this is going to lay all the necessary groundwork for my K'nex sci-fi thriller.

Posted by: bytor13 profile link at 08/12/09 9:56 AM  | Reply
Score = 19 Vote up Vote down

"if you build it, they will come" definately the pitch/movie poster
Hollywood, for love of god, go fuck yourself.

Posted by: daebhid profile link at 08/12/09 9:57 AM  | Reply
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oh, and BTW Gabe... is this some sort of photo essay you're putting together?


Posted by: daebhid profile link  in reply to  daebhid's comment at 08/12/09 10:01 AM  | Reply
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I'm toying with the idea of blowing this shit up.

Posted by: RichGuy profile link at 08/12/09 9:57 AM  | Reply
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Damn lawnmower man, making me look a fool over here. D'oh!

Posted by: herrorara at 08/12/09 9:58 AM  | Reply
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This sounds terrible. On the other hand, I think re-shooting movies in stop-motion lego animation is a great idea. For example, I would fully support a remake of Powder in legos.

Posted by: cizmad profile link at 08/12/09 9:58 AM  | Reply
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Thinking that people liked Transformers because they like toys is like thinking people liked Schindler's LIst because people like sauerkraut.

Posted by: lemonne profile link at 08/12/09 10:00 AM  | Reply
Score = 32 Vote up Vote down

Move over, Titanic and Dark Knight!
No seriously, move over. No joke.
I think Transformers 2 and G.I. Joe have already illiustrated quite well what the public will gladly pay for.

LEGOS has a huge built in audience. This film is going to smash the box office and put up one made of LEGOS.

Posted by: KajusX profile link at 08/12/09 10:01 AM  | Reply
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Alright... so if this turns out to be a post-post-modern stop-motion epic with a meaningful narrative, i'll be pleasantly surprised... Legos are so much fun you guys! Think White Stripes music videos!

Posted by: TheMinisterofLongitude profile link at 08/12/09 10:02 AM  | Reply
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I thought about that too, but I feel that counting on Michel Gondry to direct a whole film about plastic blocks is asking too much of the world.

Posted by: Carrie profile link  in reply to  TheMinisterofLongitude's comment at 08/12/09 1:58 PM  | Reply
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The Teddy Ruxpin script was so unrecognizeable by the time it hit theaters that they had to release it under the name "the Hurt Locker".

Posted by: jimjbollocks profile link at 08/12/09 10:03 AM  | Reply
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Do they realize legos don't do anything?

Posted by: adrienne profile link at 08/12/09 10:04 AM  | Reply
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...when you watch them.

Posted by: daebhid profile link  in reply to  adrienne's comment at 08/12/09 10:06 AM  | Reply
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Also, I have to say, our commenting has gone bananas. I get distracted for two seconds while typing and there are already 10 new comments!

Posted by: adrienne profile link at 08/12/09 10:07 AM  | Reply
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maybe they can ruin it even more by making it based on the lego video game franchise....like "lego: indiana jones: the movie"....ah-mazing....

Posted by: Saad profile link at 08/12/09 10:08 AM  | Reply
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I've said it before, I'm still waiting for a Lite Brite movie!

Posted by: ber profile link at 08/12/09 10:25 AM  | Reply
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Hollywood loves lamp.

Posted by: booferama profile link at 08/12/09 10:26 AM  | Reply
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This is a perfect vehicle for hjfreaks. Bust out the milk, this going to be a party.

Posted by: Leibniz profile link at 08/12/09 10:27 AM  | Reply
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So what's the point of this? Not from a "this is a shitty idea" standpoint but from a "greedy movie exec merchandising" standpoint. I mean, there are already lego toys, video games, amusement parks...how else can money be squeezed from the rigid lego teat? Legoland II: Blocktastic Boogaloo?

Posted by: The Great Philouza profile link at 08/12/09 10:31 AM  | Reply
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I believe that's called Legoland California.

Posted by: jneslo profile link  in reply to  The Great Philouza's comment at 08/12/09 7:56 PM  | Reply
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What's the matter, Philouza?! Have too many of Mr. Graham's crackers?!

Posted by: Weeam profile link  in reply to  The Great Philouza's comment at 08/13/09 1:34 AM  | Reply
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i was a nerd, so i loved legos, but seriously, what a boring toy to make a movie out of. perhaps it will be a drama instead of an action movie (i.e. zzzzzzzzz). maybe it will be like this

Posted by: lizzing profile link at 08/12/09 10:39 AM  | Reply
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Hey lizzing, it's nice to see our icons having a pseudo Bob and David reunion.

Posted by: The Great Philouza profile link  in reply to  lizzing's comment at 08/12/09 10:57 AM  | Reply
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heh. and a plus one for you, my good man.

Posted by: lizzing profile link  in reply to  The Great Philouza's comment at 08/12/09 12:18 PM  | Reply
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Bartender! A round of plus ones for everyone!

Posted by: The Great Philouza profile link  in reply to  lizzing's comment at 08/12/09 1:25 PM  | Reply
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Posted by: Godsauce profile link at 08/12/09 10:41 AM  | Reply
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I'm trying my best!

Posted by: Godsauce profile link  in reply to  Godsauce's comment at 08/12/09 11:11 AM  | Reply
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Making this movie should be a snap.

Posted by: contentRich profile link at 08/12/09 10:56 AM  | Reply
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As a rule I only upvote comments with chamazing puns in them. Upvote x1,000,000!

Posted by: Carrie profile link  in reply to  contentRich's comment at 08/12/09 2:01 PM  | Reply
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What will happen with Michael Mann's long-nascent Lincoln Logs?

Posted by: EtWB profile link at 08/12/09 11:22 AM  | Reply
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How about an Erector Set movie?

Erector Set: Fully Erect!

Maybe not...

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 08/12/09 11:23 AM  | Reply
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I wish that Lego had been a bit more "protective of its brand" when they decided to make the elite Spiderman and SpongeBob SquarePants lines.

There is nothing sad about a single male in his twenties sitting in his underwear and playing with Legos, as long as its involves classic pirate, space, or castle sets.

Posted by: Doracle at 08/12/09 11:25 AM  | Reply
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Not that I am speaking from experience or anything...

Posted by: Doracle  in reply to  Doracle's comment at 08/12/09 11:28 AM  | Reply
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It's not really that unusual given that there's already been Edward and Friends and all those Bionicle dtv films. That being said, it's still a shit idea.

Posted by: annoyingmouse profile link at 08/12/09 11:41 AM  | Reply
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I'm not at all baffled by this. They'll most likely make another Bionicle movie, give it a theatrical release, and call it a day.

Posted by: smiles profile link at 08/12/09 12:33 PM  | Reply
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Agh, the internet hates me:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369281/

Posted by: smiles profile link  in reply to  smiles's comment at 08/12/09 12:36 PM  | Reply
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Dashing and daring
Courageous and caring
Faithful and friendly
With stories to share 
All through lego land 
They sing out in chorus 
Marching along 
As their song fills the air 
Lego Men 
Building here and there and everywhere 
High adventure that’s beyond compare 
They are the Lego Men 
Magic and mystery 
Are part of their history 
Along with the secret 
Of legoberry juice (???)
Their legend is growing 
They take pride in knowing 
They’ll fight for what’s right 
In whatever they do 
Lego Men
When a friend’s in danger they’ll be there 
Lives and legends that we all can share 
They are the Lego Men
They are the Lego Men 
They are the Lego Men!


note: true fans are not happy about the introduction of this mysterious legoberry juice

Posted by: bingo gas station profile link at 08/12/09 12:41 PM  | Reply
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Well I wrote the Lego Movie. It's a family drama. My tagline was "How can a family tht can be taken apart so easily keep itself together."

Basically it's a shot for shot remake of American Beauty but with Legos.

Posted by: Philip Jacobsen at 08/12/09 12:48 PM  | Reply
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You write Lego fanfic too????!!!!

Posted by: langford profile link  in reply to  Philip Jacobsen's comment at 08/12/09 1:25 PM  | Reply
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Yes.

Posted by: Philip Jacobsen  in reply to  langford's comment at 08/13/09 2:04 PM  | Reply
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I'm Legoless.

Posted by: Professor Push-Ups profile link at 08/12/09 1:37 PM  | Reply
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I'm just curious as to why no one has picked up on the veritable well of marketing possibilities for a Crossfire movie?? Shit basically writes itself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCwn1NTK-50


Plus, theme song is already taken care of, though I can see Fall Out Boy doing a passable cover.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 08/12/09 2:09 PM  | Reply
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I love that crossfire changed it's jingle 'n' style cause the first was not as "hot": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyg3kn0cfwE&feature=related


"the action's getting hotter, really heating up, first you got to win it before you can stop." I would greenlight this movie.

Posted by: bingo gas station profile link  in reply to  Carrie's comment at 08/12/09 11:05 PM  | Reply
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Haha, "Turn up the Jazzy, thanks Songsmith!"

Posted by: Carrie profile link  in reply to  bingo gas station's comment at 08/13/09 11:12 AM  | Reply
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Forget it Gabe, it's Legoland.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 08/12/09 4:55 PM  | Reply
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How many times do we joke about them making a movie out of something totally pointless and then they announce that they're actually doing it like two weeks later? I'm starting to think these executives actually read these comments and message board threads about this stuff and pull ideas from whatever people say would be a terrible idea for a movie.

Posted by: moonmaster profile link at 08/12/09 5:01 PM  | Reply
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Or maybe it's a Zoolander thing and they just don't get sarcasm.


"They said 'oh yeah, why don't they make a legos movie now', they're practically begging for it guys!"


WE DON'T WANT THESE MOVIES, GUYS. STOP MAKING THEM.

Posted by: moonmaster profile link at 08/12/09 5:03 PM  | Reply
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Ha!

I went through my old toys and came up with movie ideas too---does that make me a Hollywood producer? This is what I came up with:

http://thecorner33.blogspot.com/2009/08/hollywood-invades-our-basements-for.html

Posted by: paul at 08/12/09 7:22 PM  | Reply
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Now you're just giving them ideas. Shut it down.

Posted by: Weeam profile link  in reply to  paul's comment at 08/13/09 1:37 AM  | Reply
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I am a HUGE fan of toys but sadly, most movies about toys involve their misuse. Movies like “MILFs and Their Toys 2” are very misleading for children who may get the wrong impression of how to get the best out of their toys. Another example is “The Toy” which teaches children that you can buy Richard Pryor if you have enough money. Shameful.

Posted by: knifewound profile link at 08/15/09 12:24 PM  | Reply
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