Where's Waldo?: The Movie Is A Terrible Idea
Unless this is literally a shot-for-shot remake of the Bourne Ultimatum with a candy cane sweater CGI'ed onto Matt Damon's torso, ugh. From Variety:
[Universal] and Chris Meledandri's family film unit [Illumination Entertainment] have acquired screen rights to turn the "Where's Waldo?" book series into a live-action family pic. Deal was worth high-six against seven figures.Written and illustrated by Martin Handford, the "Waldo" books have sold more than 50 million copies worldwide. The books contain complex, full-page illustrations of large crowd scenes in which the main character is somewhere hidden, dressed in a red-and-white shirt, a hat, glasses and a walking stick.
[Universal] and Illumination will seek to create a movie with strong global appeal.
The worst part about this news is that there was a BIDDING WAR for the rights. Multiple people in charge of spending millions of dollars thought this was a great idea, and so they had to fight each other over it. "I want to make what will inevitably be a terrible movie." "No, I feel that my company is best to ensure that this movie is a totally miserable viewing experience." And at the end one level-headed voice of reason stood up and said "Gentlemen, let's at least acknowledge that whoever wins is going to be making this movie RIGHT ON TIME. Just at the moment when Waldo is MOST RELEVANT."
Although, at least I don't feel remorse over another instance of Hollywood's careless disregard for the unimpeachable nostalgia for the past. I'm not worried that they're going to "ruin" or "tarnish my memories of" Waldo. He's the equivalent of a costumed Highlights magazine wordsearch. Who cares about Waldo? That's what the movie should be called. And it would be a documentary. And it would be five minutes long. Because the answer is no one.
Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in Bad Idea Jeans
Tags: Books | Children | Movie Adaptations | Where's Waldo
Make fun all you want, but this clears the way for my film adaptation of those 3D Magic Eye posters.
Score = 27
Oh man, this really pisses me off. I had tried this idea years ago, but I had celeb'ed it up a bit. It was basically a bunch of stills of the interior of the Louisiana State Correctional Facility. It was called: "Where's Mystikal?". Couldn't get the rights cleared. Politics be a motherfucker.
Score = 13
HAHA WHAT
Score = 1
Amazing.
Score = 0
This really should have been a feature in Duh Aficionado magazine.
Score = 5
Maybe they'll go in a completed unexpected direction with this. A man named Waldo has an existential crises that leads him to France (striped shirt) where he can find himself. This could really go anywhere. (He'll have to kill himself at the end, of course.)
Score = 10
"Striped shirt," hahahaha. Your take would also explain the stack of books.....it's like he's trying to return a bunch of library books but with each turn of the page (or "scene" for the movie's purposes) the stack only becomes increasingly taller and heavier, in an almost sisyphal struggle to unload the burden of meaninglessness which in turn only increases the burden. Also, the books are all Camus and Sartre. Also, Vincent Gallo plays Waldo. Done. (I'll show myself out.)
Score = 0
Vincent Gallo can't play Waldo. Waldo would be much too easy to find if his dick was always out. (I'm sorry. I just ruined both of our nights.) Otherwise, I agree to all.
Score = 2
Score = 3
Can Michael Cera play Waldo? For some reason I can see that being funny (not that Michael Cera is a particularly good actor, but his character is much different than the one I'd assume Waldo has).
Score = 5
Jason Statham as Waldo, Christian Bale as his ruthless bounty hunter. Done. Where's my Golden Globe.
Score = 17
"You are trashing my scene, Waldo!"
Score = 5
Actually, it involves Waldo taking on his arch nemesis (The guy who looks like Waldo but has an evil moustache or something), who has kidnapped Waldo's girlfriend. Enormous CGI cityscapes featuring literally hundreds of individual people are it's main drawcard, with the appearance of Waldo's Quizship making a surprise appearance.
Score = 2
His name is Odlaw, and he wears yellow and black stripes, in addition to his evil mustache. I was the VP of the Where's Waldo club in grade school, so I know this for sure.
Score = 11
maybe waldo should have carmen sandiego as his arch nemesis.
because where in the world is that bitch, you know?
OR they're in love and they're trying to find each other, across space and time, and just missing each other.
Score = 0
I've always enjoyed Gabe being an asshole. But being an asshole to Where's Waldo?: what's the matter with you?
Score = -3
I'm holding out for the Timbertoes movie.
Score = 2
I've been trying for minutes on end to think of a possible plot. I've got nothing.
Score = 2
Has there even been a new Where's Waldo book since 1992?
Score = 2
It could be a good horro movie with Waldo silently stabbing and slashing throats in crowded places.
Score = 6
Why? Just, Why? Is creativity dead?
Score = 0
Wait... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg4ztJ32iPI
Score = 2
Actually, EVERY MOVIE SINCE 1986 has been a Where's Waldo movie. You've all just been losing this whole time.
Score = 10
Everybody's lack of familarity with the (apparently plot-based!) cartoon that ran in the 90s kind of confuses me, didn't you guys find yourself disturbed by the menancingly quiet intro music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIXdqR-60Ws&feature=related
Also I thought the 'singer' said 'faggot' at the end for the longest time
Score = 0
this is a fantastic idea, you're just not creative. hahahaha
oh my god have a sense of humor is it your money thats being spent to make a waldo movie, you dont have to see it if you dont want to i will. stoned maybe, but then again maybe not. I love waldo, maybe there will be naked chicks in the movie version too
Score = 0
maybe itll star eddie murphey?
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Ira Glass, this is your ticket to reaching the rest of America.
Score = 1