Hey You Guys, How About Let's Not Kill Ourselves Because Of Michael Jackson
There's a disturbing new trend emerging, you guys. It appears a lot of people are committing suicide after learning of the death of Michael Jackson. Now, I know that this is easier said than done, but how about people don't do that. Because that is fucking insane.
Wouldn't you agree, Reverend Jesse Jackson?
"I agree with Gabe, let's not commit suicide because of Michael Jackson. That is sad, and also weird. Byee!"
--Reverend Jesse Jackson
I am looking at the man in the mirror and I am asking him to not kill himself. It doesn't matter if you're black or white, please don't kill yourself. Don't kill yourself, Dirty Diana.
This terrifying world makes literally no sense. Incidentally, the number of Michael Jackson related suicides cited in the video is seven, but other reports put the number at 12. Just in case you were like "this story isn't :( enough 4 me." (Via ONTD.)
Posted by Gabe at 11:45 AM in Bad Idea Jeans
Tags: Death | Michael Jackson | Suicide
Don't Kill Yourself Till You Get Enough
Score = 53
http://www.fox8.com/wjw-news-arson-jackson-death,0,3596471.story
And some woman set a bar on fire because of his death. It was the "stress"
Score = 1
I can see that. I singed a tablecloth when Farrah Fawcett died, and I held a flashlight really close to one spot on my duvet cover for like 10 minutes for Billy Mays. Stress makes you do crazy things!
Score = 39
Burn This Disco Out
Score = 1
(I jumped) Off the Wall (to kill myself)
Score = 10
Suicide is Bad. (You guys can stop now, I just won.)
Score = 30
Don't you mean, it's bad, it's bad, it's really, really bad?
Score = 16
Wanna Be Endin Somethin?
Score = 44
(You're too) Pretty (and too) Young (to kill yourself with that very sharp and heavy) Thing
Score = 28
As you are not Invincible (2001 album!) you may very well die from you're attempted suicide.
Score = 0
Don't beat it.
Score = 18
Do You Remember The Time When We Killed Ourselves?
Score = 28
Goddamn, people are fragile.
Score = 8
Gone Too Soon. (Didn't even have to rework that one.)
Score = 5
I know I'm going to come across as a heartless bastard for this, but I can't summon up sympathy for these people. I feel for their families and their friends, but they're the ones who apparently tied their entire existence to someone who probably didn't even know they existed. When Elliott Smith killed himself/was murdered I was devestated. But my life continued, and it will for everyone else who accepts his death rationally.
Score = -3
These people did not kill themselves because they were MJ fans. They killed themselves because in all likelihood they had serious mental health problems and this was the trigger that sent them over the edge. Whenever there's an event as big as this (in terms of media coverage), there are suicides linked to it.
That doesn't make those people stupid, it makes them mentally ill.
Score = 32
yeah. if MJ was still alive, they would've killed demselves cuz of Farah Fawcett.
Score = -2
I apologize for my bad call. I automatically drew a line connecting the fans who defended Michael Jackson as if he could do no wrong during his criminal trials and the people killing themselves after his death, without thinking that they might not be the same people.
Score = 3
More importantly, why is this dude interviewing JJ in an airport. And someone should tell him whenever you meet anybody, its always under "certain circumstances", and there is nothing ironic about that.
Score = 7
Blood On The Dancefloor. from all the suicidez.
Score = 19
Is one of the victims the dove lady from his 2005 trial? Because I was honestly a little worried about her the other day.
Score = 15
Rev. Jackson likey the camera.
Score = 1
Stay alive. For the children.
Score = 2
Srs bsns guys, I think this lady might be next (via Yahoo Answers):
Question: my husband and i have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years and i finally found out i was last week. but now i am just so sad over the loss of michael jackson that i dont even think i can bring a baby into this world. my husband says he understands and supports me but i dont think he understands fully. i want to abort. i want to abort right now because michael jackson has died. should i tell my husband this? i dont want to sound crazy. will he support me?
Score = 21
Leave Me Alone (so's I can take my life)
Jam (Your Finger in a Socket)
Score = 5
Never Can Say Goodbye (until you kill yourself, so get on with it)
Score = 1
....or DON'T kill yourself!
Seriously guys, don't do that! Michael would want us to put on our sparkly glove and Jam On!
Score = 0
I Want You Back (because you killed yourself)
Score = 6
ruh roh
Score = 2
Well that's odd. Embed cutoff fail. :(
Score = 0
Cause this is....Killer.
Score = 4
(What's) Black and White (and Red All Over?)
Score = 4
The Zebra Suicide Dance Remix?
Also, is Jesse Jackson now taking requests to be interviewed on vlogs? I think we're all going to need a bigger :(
Score = 0
Say You'll Be There (to stop me from drinking bleach.)
Score = 8
Well hey me and some friends were thinking about drinking a gallon of oxi-clean now that the king of infomercials is gone
Score = 2
Billie Jean, (you wouldn't) Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (like a Michael Jackson suicide group, would you?)
Score = 0
(I want to bludgeon myself with a) Rock With You
Score = 9
Leave the world. Make it a better place.
Score = 0