Connect To Your Assholes, And Your Assholes' Assholes
The new season of The Hills doesn't start until August, but that doesn't mean you can't keep track of everyone's (least) favorite Hollywood Power Saddest Couple Of Emotional Corpses, Plastic Face and Goat Beard, via their new SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE? Wait, whuuuuuut? If Friendster was about keeping up with your pals, and Linked_In is about making business connections, then this must be the place you go to show all your acquaintances how your credit limit is better than theirs. Or something. Surely these people don't have any actual human relationships, or any need for interaction beyond a nod across the crowded couches at Area, or whatever, so I'm still a little in the dark about what the purpose of speidiweb.com is. What I'm not in the dark about is how Speidiweb is the new hilarious.
Just a few of the things that make Speidiweb the best social networking site to have come out from two reailty TV stars in the past month:
- It exists.
- Turn On's [sic], Turn Off's [sic].
- In the drop-down menu for jobs, you can choose "millionaire." But if you have more money than that, "billionaire" is also available."
Billionaire. So many billionaires on start-up social networking sites these days, you guys. Remember when Facebook was just for millionaires, and then they opened it up to billionaires and ruined it? Anyway, if you want to HIT ME UP on my Spieidiweb, we can chat about how there was TOO MUCH NUTMEG on my VENTI STARBUCKS the other afternoon. We can also talk about NEW ROOMMATES, THE SEXY TOP YOU JUST BOUGHT, and HATERS. When we get bored of that, which will be within three seconds because talking is for civilians, we can check out the site's super cool library of paparazzi photos of Heidi and Spencer? Because that exists?
You guys, my birthday is coming up.
UPDATE: My soy_latte_69 account has already been removed. Apparently Speidiweb is actually COMMUNIST RUSSIA.
Posted by Gabe at 4:33 PM in Bad Idea Jeans
Tags: Heidi Montag | National Failures | Speidiweb | Spencer Pratt | The Hills
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I like how the "cool members" are just Heidi and Spencer.
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Wait, they just deleted your account? That's ridiculous.
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gabe & lindsay, i know i'm copying myself here, but i wanted to share this with the world because the image still makes me smile:
there should be some sort of "Hell House" for fleeting "don't you love to hate me?" celebrities, where they have to watch a Dennis Rodman lookalike try to pick up dollars with his ass cheeks at spring break 2013.
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Give it up for the cultural references though. Speidiweb? I never thought of spelling hand ejaculate like that....until now.
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