Orphan Is The Bruno Of The Adoption Community
Shut up, gays. You had your turn. NEW OUTRAGE! From the Hollywood Reporter:
Often divided over policy and practice, America's adoption community has unified in dismay over "Orphan," a horror movie opening next week that its critics say will fuel negative attitudes toward real-life orphans.Some adoption advocates are urging a boycott of the movie, which opens July 24.
We're here, we're adopted, we want to get married on the ocean!
I'm not sure how you stage a boycott of a movie that not that many people are going to see in the first place, but in any case, this is easily my favorite moral backlash from an outraged interest group in awhile.
Did you guys read the SPOILER ALERT about Orphan? I'm going to repost it just because it makes me LOLOLOL every time. Repeat, this is a SPOILER ALERT:
I know what's wrong with Esther.She is really a 33-year-old woman who was born with proportional dwarfism which causes her to have the appearance of a child. She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy paedophiles for clients. The reason why she has her neck covered is because she was once in asylum and she struggled so much in her straitjacket that it left with her deep scars on her neck.
THA BEST. (Via.) Back to the haterz:
"We are concerned that in addition to its intended entertainment value, this film will have the unintended effect of skewing public opinion against children awaiting families both in the United States and abroad," said a letter to [Warner Bros. CEO Barry] Meyer from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.
The adoption community does have a point. Recent polls that I just made up show that the most common fear among prospective foster parents is that their new ward will turn out to be a 33-year-old proportional dwarf with a history of pedophilic prostitution. And it's not like you can just take them back if it doesn't work out. The hardest part is that every adopted child, by American Law, comes with a silk choker around their neck that you are not allowed to remove to check for straight-jacket scars. PROBLEMATIC.
Don't even sweat it, though, dudez. Warner Bros. has got this:
Warner Bros. said it has taken the concerns seriously. Spokesman Scott Rowe told the Associated Press the company is considering adding a pro-adoption message at the end of the film when it comes out in DVD form.
At the end of the movie, the camera pulls back from Esther's foster parents' dead bodies, and written on the kitchen floor in their pooling blood it says "ADOPT TODAYYYYY!"
Posted by Gabe at 4:00 PM in Backlashes
Tags: Horror Survival | Oprhan
Mother of pearl! I thought you made up that spoiler in the previous post about this movie. That's what this is really about?
Score = 15
Pretty sure people whose views of reality are easily influenced by B(C?)-grade horror films should not be adopting kids anyway.
Score = 52
UGH This makes me want to go take a Twilight and I better not forget to wipe my Harry Potter this time either.
AMIRITE u GUYS!?!?!
Score = -9
UGH This makes me want to go take a Twilight and I better not forget to wipe my Harry Potter this time either.
AMIRITE u GUYS!?!?!
Score = -23
Somehow, your comment got more inane the second time.
Score = 30
So wait, unless Twilight = long drive in the rain and Harry Potter = windshield, C-grade horror films inexplicably make you want to poop, and when you poop you usually forget to wipe afterwards. Got it. Smart.
Score = 3
Sorry, it is just taking me a long time to realize da cake eatur could only get away with such an asinine sense of humor.
Score = 9
I think the point was that twilight = poop and harry potter = ass, right? I am only Assistant Professor Metaphors, but I think I get the idea.
Score = 4
Yeah, I was going for low-brow humor. It totally failed.
Score = 3
Say what you will about this probably-shitty film, but Vera Farmiga has got the talent-juices oozing out of her eyeballs. She's also nine different kinds of hot.
Yeah, I'm going to see this. Because I am a slave.
Score = 1
Yeah, but did you see her interview on Letterman? Chick is KOOKOO.
Score = 3
What can I say? I have a type.
Score = 3
Sorry but all talent is null and void for her because she had the most ridiculous looking bangs when she was on law and order back in the day; they were short on the sides and came to a point in the center of her forehead that you would have to see to believe.
I am 1000% sure I am not overreacting.
Score = 9
Not sure enough.
Score = 6
i have nothing funny to say, that last sentence had me LOLing all over the place.
Score = 6
Is that seriously the plot? I'll take remade Footloose over this, any day.
Score = 5
i am surprised at the lack of outrage from the usually very vocal Prostitutes With Proportional Dwarfism community (PWPD).
Score = 62
well that's it! no adopting gay austrian prostitots for me.
Score = 20
Prostitot is a great word.
Score = 16
She looks really good for 33. You go girl!
Score = 44
A positive message to adopt children IN THE DVD FORM!? Warner Brothers, you already know that the horrible, self-loathing minority of people that are gonna see this movie in theaters are not going to buy this movie in DVD!
Oh Gabe, you have to promise that when this movie comes out on DVD, you do a "Whose Been Buying All These Orphan DVD's" post! And I don't mean a regular promise, I mean a VIDEOGUM PROMISE!
Score = 12
Don't worry adoption community. I am sure Madonna and Angelina will pick up the slack. No probs.
Score = 7
Score = 19
Damn, I was looking forward to "The Book of Eli". But no longer, now that I know it is from the people who brought me "Ninja Assassin." (I would argue the "assassin" is superfluous. Unless he is someone who assassinates ninjas. Which would be impossible.)
Score = 18
I'm so mad about that spoiler - not because I was really looking forward to seeing that movie, but because I KNOW I saw a "Law and Order SVU" with the same twist! Seriously!
Score = 8
Why are parents always getting so fucking upset about everything?
Score = 5
Because they don't want to admit it's their own responsibility to take care of their own children.
Score = 3
I'm almost entirely positive that this is the point of having children (besides vanity)--you can find a way to feel superior about almost anything.
i, for one, think this is GOOD for the orphans of the world. They're always portrayed as being vulnerable and then get pushed around when they just want some more mush/porridge. Or they're made to feel like they have to sing songs to entertain bald millionaires in order to stay off the streets. Always singing songs....BUT THEY AREN'T PUPPETS. And it's time we put the fear of god into "adoption advocates."
Score = 12
Remember when Blindness came out (you probably don't!) and the blind community was all upset that blindness was being portrayed as a disability (which it is!) and they wanted no one to see it. And no one did see it, but it had less to do with respect for controversy, and more to do with no one giving a shit? It was the first time where the protesters had a decent response to "Have you seen the movie?"
I PHYSICALLY CANNOT.
Score = 18
Yes, but they HEARD it more acutely than the rest of us.
Score = 9
I think their disapproval of "Blindness" wasn't so much about blindness being a disability, seems like we all agree on that, including the government, but that if everyone had said disability we'd plunge into a chaotic, oppressive murderous distopia.
Blindness just makes you blind, not a jerk, as you demonstrate with "It was the first time where the protesters had a decent response to 'Have you seen the movie?'
I PHYSICALLY CANNOT." Jeeeeze.
Score = -7
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze
Score = 3
Can you start a Best Movie of All-time in honor of this movie? Instant classic.
Score = 3
Obviously the point of this movie is that if you adopt poor unwanted children, they will go evil and kill you. That is very important for people to know.
Score = 4
Us gays will shut up for now, but I assure you we will soon find something that you straights are doing or thinking about doing that will anger us and we're going cause a big ruckus about it,,... Just you wait.
Score = 1
I read that ending line about the pro-adoption message at work and I was laughing my head off as quietly as I could (which wasn't that quietly) in my cubicle for five straight minutes. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Score = 1
I read that ending line about the pro-adoption message at work and I was laughing my head off as quietly as I could (which wasn't that quietly) in my cubicle for five straight minutes. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Score = 1
If they wanted to be accurate, the silk choker should have been holding her head onto her neck, like the ghost story from our youth. In 1944.
Score = 2