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November 16, 2009

Couples Retreat Somehow Gets Worse

Couples Retreat, this fall's most thinly veiled paid vacation for Vince Vaughan and his friends, was already obviously terrible. We all know that. No one is wondering whether or not Couples Retreat, a nominal "comedy" in which three unhappy couples go to Hawaii for almost no reason other than that the stars of the movie wanted to go to Hawaii, is unfunny and miserable, much like the characters' marriages. But somehow this movie has managed to get even worse now that the token black couple has been Photoshopped out of the movie poster in the UK's marketing push. From the Mail:

The makers of a hit Hollywood film are at the centre of a race controversy after removing two black actors from a poster being used to promote it in Britain.

A spokesman for makers Universal Pictures confirmed the poster had been changed to 'simplify' it for the UK and international market outside America. The studio said it regretted causing offence and has abandoned plans to use the revised poster in other countries.

Yikes! Both posters enlarged, along with some additional COMMENTARY, after the jump.

Black people:

No black people:

How is it that Barack Obama can get elected president of the United States of America, but Faizon Love can't make it onto a UK subway poster for a hackneyed romantic comedy no one wants to see anyway? Just kidding. Actually, if anything, it is weird that the cries of racism are only happening now. That original US poster is no great shakes in the racial equality department.

"Could the black people be any smaller or any more shoved into the deepest background?"
--Bandler Ching

Although, Universal's defense is pretty thin. They wanted to "simplify" things for an international audience? Whoops, international audience, that is your simplification! Oh, wait, you mean the international audience who doesn't understand what huge stars Faizon Love and Kali Hawk are? I mean, in America, you put Faizon Love and Kali Hawk on a movie poster and you might as well just print money, but in the International market, you have to appeal to a different audience. Sarcasm! No offense to Faizon Love and Kali Hawk, but I'm sure they know that they are not huge movie stars. We're all adults here.

In any case, I made a new poster for Couples Retreat that skirts the complicated issue (not complicated) of race in the movie.

Better.

Posted by Gabe at 1:45 PM in ,
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55 Comments

why does the new poster make it look like kristin davis just had a threesome with jason bateman and kristen bell?

poor jon favreau, you stupid fuck.

Posted by: The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove profile link at 11/16/09 1:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

You know what else they clearly discriminate against in the new poster: WATER!

"I hate when water touches clothing" -British People

Posted by: Captain Boring of the S.S. Shut Up profile link at 11/16/09 2:01 PM  | Reply
Score = 55 Vote up Vote down

We don't hate when water touches clothing; it's just too bloody complicated, yanks!


(p.s. i'm not really british. surprise!)

Posted by: dance contest winner profile link  in reply to  Captain Boring of the S.S. Shut Up's comment at 11/16/09 2:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

I don't know. I think Faizon actually wins. He doesnt have to advertise that he was in a crappy crappy movie.
But yeah, thats me ignoring the actual issue. Which is just too gross to even make a joke about.

Posted by: Fizz profile link at 11/16/09 2:02 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

They got rid of the black people, but they added lots of flowers. And a suitcase. Let's focus on the positive, people!

Posted by: yapplebee profile link at 11/16/09 2:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 23 Vote up Vote down

It also appears that the remaining three couples have been placed in front of what could be an active volcano. Everybody wins!

Posted by: petepetepete profile link  in reply to  yapplebee's comment at 11/16/09 2:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down

Maybe the black people are in the suitcase.

Posted by: dUb-iLL profile link  in reply to  yapplebee's comment at 11/16/09 2:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 68 Vote up Vote down

It's weird, though, that there are props in the British poster but not in the US poster. Maybe Faizon Love and Kali Hawk are really the Wonder Twins.
"Form of... a LEI!"
"Form of... SENSIBLE LUGGAGE!"

Posted by: Patrick M profile link at 11/16/09 2:05 PM  | Reply
Score = 31 Vote up Vote down

Besides black people, the UK also hates the apple "reflect" effect.

Posted by: Girl Friday profile link at 11/16/09 2:06 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Real story here is the change in Kristen Davis' motivation. In America, she is valiantly trying but failing to avoid her dress getting wet. In England, she is preparing to flash her cooter.

Posted by: talkingstove profile link at 11/16/09 2:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 29 Vote up Vote down

As someone who obliged his girlfriend and allowed himself to be dragged to this movie, Faizon Love and Kali Hawk had the only moments where I didn't want to load up my suicide gun and put it to my temple.
That being said, movie sucked. And Vince Vaughn got super fat.

Posted by: inglorius basTURD profile link at 11/16/09 2:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Maybe the black people are in Vince Vaughn's stomach.

Posted by: dUb-iLL profile link  in reply to  inglorius basTURD's comment at 11/16/09 2:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 51 Vote up Vote down

I feel like I'm witnessing the birth of a meme here. Loving it.

Posted by: Mcluskyist profile link  in reply to  dUb-iLL's comment at 11/16/09 3:41 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

Jean Reno made the cut!

Posted by: PhasedOutOfPopCulture profile link at 11/16/09 2:10 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Way to make an innocent trash can look like an asshole, Gabe.

Posted by: Spice Weasel profile link at 11/16/09 2:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 34 Vote up Vote down

Kristin Davis is dead set on showing some knee.

Posted by: dUb-iLL profile link at 11/16/09 2:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

To be fair, Winston didn't show up until like the last third of Ghostbusters.

Posted by: itsahotdog! profile link at 11/16/09 2:17 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Well, to be fair to someone or whatever, Faizon Love and Kali Hawk are the two least famous people in the movie. (I tried to come up with a defense for this, or temper this with NOT THAT I'M RACIST OR ANYTHING, but I can't bring myself to care any further about anything involving Vince Vaughn, so this is all I will say.)

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link at 11/16/09 2:19 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I think this poster [besides the whole racist aspect] looks better than the original. Perhaps the way they were photoshopping it they just didn't have room for the unfamous people??

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link  in reply to  kiss the pan's comment at 11/16/09 4:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

they should have just added the suit case and taken out all the actors who totally phoned it in for this movie. at least the suit case was authentic.

Posted by: Not So Goodie Mob profile link at 11/16/09 2:22 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

The film takes place in Tahiti, not Hawaii.

Posted by: Steve Winwood profile link at 11/16/09 2:25 PM  | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

That's like saying; "It's Ed Hardy, not Ed Hardie."

Posted by: jawbone profile link  in reply to  Steve Winwood's comment at 11/16/09 2:31 PM  | Reply
Score = 29 Vote up Vote down

No it's like saying your precious Gabe Delahee is Gabe WRONGahee

Posted by: Steve Winwood profile link  in reply to  jawbone's comment at 11/16/09 5:02 PM  | Reply
Score = -5 Vote up Vote down

"Well they cut Jean Reno out of both entirely!" - Nobody

Posted by: SG profile link at 11/16/09 2:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

Grrrh that was supposed to be a response to "PhasedOutOfPopCulture" comment.

Posted by: SG profile link  in reply to  SG's comment at 11/16/09 2:33 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

The Alabama posters have Michael Richards photo-shopped in JUST KIDDING! ;-)

Posted by: Steve Winwood profile link at 11/16/09 2:32 PM  | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

Regardless of whether erasing Big Worm from Friday and his unbelievable fictional sex partner from the poster constitutes "racism," that whole marketing campaign just reminded me of this famous picture from the Internet, writ large and also four times:

Posted by: trevormail profile link at 11/16/09 2:37 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Wow, Charlie Weiss has a hot girl friend. No wonder he can't beat Navy.

Posted by: The Aura of the H-Man profile link  in reply to  trevormail's comment at 11/16/09 5:04 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I am OK with the decision to lower the water line and photoshop in everyone's knees. HOWEVER why did they decide to give Kristen Bell some wonky knock-knees and a skirt that is being mysteriously drawn up towards her ladyparts?

Posted by: kiljoywashere profile link at 11/16/09 2:45 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I have just spent way too long looking at the two posters, trying to decide if it's photoshopped or an entirely different shot altogether. I think it's both, given that it looks like Jason Bateman is wearing a girl's shirt in the british one, (ie, he's been reversed so the shirt now buttons on the girl side.), but Jon Favreau is not, so he's from a different shot than the original, since he's on the other side of the chick there.

So, I think they took the british photo first, then backed everyone a few more feet into the water, and took the american one. Also, I think perhaps this is not the best use of my time.

Posted by: tanaise profile link  in reply to  kiljoywashere's comment at 11/16/09 4:27 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Fuck Racism. And Fuck this Shit Movie.

Posted by: DS3M profile link at 11/16/09 3:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Excuse me, Bollocks to this Bloody Movie.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 11/16/09 3:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

Posted by: Kenny Powers profile link at 11/16/09 3:03 PM  | Reply
Score = -19 Vote up Vote down

can i complain about the order in which the names are displayed? cuz it looks sexist to me.
also, how come jean reno gets so much love?
i thought he died after Ronin

Posted by: tutukulatu profile link at 11/16/09 3:23 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

also: "I WISH THERE WAS SOME OFFENSIVE WORD I COULD CALL YOU THAT WOULD MAKE YOU AS ANGRY AS I AM" - british people to the blacks.
i'm paraphrasing, of course

Posted by: tutukulatu profile link at 11/16/09 3:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I missed the first ten minutes, why did Larry keep referring to that young girl's "Pussy" on curbed last night?

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  tutukulatu's comment at 11/16/09 3:49 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

But why does Gabe's make-believe racist studio executive have to be Asian, hmm?

Posted by: Dingus profile link at 11/16/09 3:35 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Chandler Bing is a character on a popular syndicated lorrie in the states.

Posted by: Monkey profile link  in reply to  Dingus's comment at 11/16/09 6:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

I thought it was apparent that I was fake-reprimanding Gabe for nonexistent racism in a post about racism. Sigh.

Posted by: Dingus profile link  in reply to  Monkey's comment at 11/17/09 2:17 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

What's worse: being removed from the original poster because you're black or being "sexed up" for the new one because you are ugly?

Posted by: freckle profile link at 11/16/09 4:02 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

"It may be paradise, but it's no vacation... For black people"

Posted by: dUb-iLL profile link at 11/16/09 4:03 PM  | Reply
Score = 21 Vote up Vote down

"It is a vacation FROM black people." -The International Market

Posted by: Exene profile link  in reply to  dUb-iLL's comment at 11/16/09 10:45 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

This is like that game in Highlights for Kids! Spot the differences!

Posted by: Detroit Dutchgirl profile link at 11/16/09 4:15 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Maybe they delegated the poster editing to whoever is in charge of casting Saturday Night Live.

Posted by: blueland profile link at 11/16/09 4:28 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

The actors were removed because they aren't a big drawcard to the international market.
Whether they are black is really inconsequential. They are just actors who aren't as popular outside of America.

However, if you want to get more in depth about the whole thing, their lack of appeal outside of America WOULD have to be due to cultural difference. Namely, the prevalence of African American culture within America vs internationally.

Its like that "Madea" character. The only reason I (an Australian) have heard of Tyler Perry is because of websites like this, and watching Jay Leno. These movies are not released widely outside America because they would not appeal to our culture.

Posted by: jakobibryant profile link at 11/16/09 6:52 PM  | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

oh, well i didn't read the article all the way through. fail by me.

Still, my point stands!

Posted by: jakobibryant profile link  in reply to  jakobibryant's comment at 11/16/09 6:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

YOu're quite right.

Is anyone else having the problem where their upvotes and downvotes don't save once you navigate away from or refresh a page?

Posted by: Steve Sanders profile link  in reply to  jakobibryant's comment at 11/16/09 7:09 PM  | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

Draw card math:

6 draw cards = 6 draw cards
6 draw cards + 2 whoaretheys = 6 draw cards
(6 draw cards + 2 black people) x Britain = :(

Posted by: Kemi profile link  in reply to  jakobibryant's comment at 11/16/09 10:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

so the girl from "watchmen" is a huge draw?

Posted by: The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove profile link  in reply to  jakobibryant's comment at 11/16/09 10:59 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I have made my choice. I will see the first one, but I will not see the second one.

Posted by: IkilledMichael profile link at 11/16/09 8:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

i really like the way malin akerman is stealing vince vaughn's pancreas by shoving her entire arm into his ribcage. FORESHADOWING.

Posted by: eastside tilly profile link at 11/17/09 7:36 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/movie-talk-couples-retreat-posters.html

If you don't like Will Smith, you're a racist!

Posted by: petepetepete profile link at 11/17/09 10:03 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I fixed it:

Posted by: BobFreakinVila profile link at 11/17/09 4:45 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

"Let's go see Couples Retreat in England in case there are no black people in it"
-Tom Cruise

Posted by: Trouble Downstream profile link at 11/18/09 12:19 AM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

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