The latest from Harry Shearer's Found Objects, the series in which the comedian gets his hands on footage of newspeople at their worst moments, is all over the internet today. This time it's a montage of Laura Ingraham in the first few days of her canceled show Just In, complaining about everything, including a mysterious "Hispanic-looking man" who she claims to see in her teleprompter. It amps up around the five minute point:
Yes, obsessive Today Show Fourth Hour-geeks, I know that Kathie Lee has a running joke this week about how she wants to talk about crabs, which she calls "her crabs", and I know it means her love of cooking Maryland crabs. And I know that Kathie Lee is fully aware that crabs are also a kind of STD, and is in fact playing around talking about her crabs all the time to be funny, and I even know that it actually is a little bit funny. But I still like to imagine someone turning on the TV this morning and seeing this Today Show producer try to make a callback joke on the spot by telling Kathie Lee that nobody wants to pay money to see her picture like they pay money to see the pregnant man's picture, because "You're just a woman with crabs":
I'm sorry, that's funny. Double take! What did he just say? Crabs!
Someone IMd me just now saying "You've seen Richard Belzer's dog puking on MSNBC this morning, right?" And I was like "No, but please send it immediately!" And they did, and then I was like "For the love of god, how far into this [EXPLETIVE] thing does the [EXPLETIVE] dog [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] puke?"
The answer is exactly 7 minutes. Exactly:
The name of the co-host who got puked on is Mika Brzezinski, who was previously internet-famous for refusing to read a story about Paris Hilton on the air, but will no doubt enjoy some time in the web spotlight as the Lady Who Got Puked On By Richard Belzer's Dog.
Oh Fox News and Barack Obama, you guys are so the Sam and Diane of politics! Today everyone is up in arms because of this Fox interview with Michelle Malkin in which Michelle Obama is referred to as "Obama's Baby Mama." Another day, another "antagonism." Will you guys just do it and get it over with? This is you:
Now Obama needs to be like "Are you as turned on as I am?" and Fox News will say "More!" and then they'll kiss and then Fox will leave the show and be replaced by Kirstie Alley, who won't be as good.
Last week on CNN's The Situation Room, venerable newsman Jack Cafferty had a Beavis And Butthead moment when Gloria Borger, speaking of Hillary's campaign, said "If you think you want the money shot, with your arms in the air, you're going to get it." Cafferty looks around at the other guys to see if they caught it, laughs, and then interrupts Borger to ask about her choice of words. (The sound isn't great on this, sorry, I don't run YouTube):
Heh. She said money shot. I love how Jeffrey Toobin and Wolf Blitzer conspiciously try to ignore Jack while he continues to giggle like a 14 year old.
You know how much Gabe hates Al Roker? Well, I don't really mind AR that much, but his Today Show co-star Ann Curry is my arch nemesis. I hate her fake-seeming compassion for interview subjects and especially her sycophantic chumminess with Angelina Jolie. And she's not very smart, as a moment at the end of an interview with Alanis Morissette this morning demonstrates. Ann quotes Alanis as saying "I might be in a 33 year-old body but there are parts of me that are still seven years old." and Alanis quickly quips: "It turns 8 today, though." And Ann is like "Happy Birthday! Is it really your birthday?":
It's a slow news day when the Today Show runs out of things to tell us not to eat because they're not made out of food, and invites a "bubble expert" on the show to attempt the absurd trick of getting the show's cast all in one huge soap bubble. The result is awkward fumbling around as the trick doesn't work and Al Roker, who realizes immediately that he isn't going to be a part of this trick, looks on with a bemused face. In fact, I think Al Roker is clearly making fun of the others! Al Roker may be smarter than Gabe thinks:
Matt Lauer gets off one good line: "I need a loofah!" Bill O'Reilly sexual harassment jokes never get old.
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