The 2009 CMA's Surprisingly Devoid Of Kanye Jokes (Not!)
You know how the Country Music Awards are. They're basically an artist, and a perfectionist. Never satisfied, always pushing towards a new paradigm. "Let's turn this whole thing on its head," you can often hear the Country Music Awards saying. Just kidding. This year's Country Music Awards was, wait for it, wall-to-wall Kanye jokes. So that's still a thing that's going on. Perfect. According to People magazine (because I obviously did not actually watch the CMAs, I live in New York City!) there were multiple instances, although this one is my favorite (my least favorite):
Obviously, Little Jimmy Dickens, as an 88-year-old member of the Grand Ol Opry, gets to do whatever he wants at this point. Those are the rules! Anyone over 75 gets a free pass in my book. Oh, you want to say mildly racist things about the waiter at this restaurant? Fair enough. You have paid your dues. Oh, you want to give someone the gas face for showing their ankles in public? You've earned it. I'm a total stickler for letting the aged live the remainder of their lives however they see fit. So if Little Jimmy Dickens wants to live the remainder of his life making botched, worn out jokes about things he barely even understands, I'm not going to get in his way. YOU GO, LITTLE JIMMY DICKENS!
What a good awards show! It just looks fun.
Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in Awards, Bad Idea Jeans, Music Related Content
Tags: CMAs | Country Music | Kanye West | Taylor Swift
Gabe, just a few more years and you get to do whatever you want (I assume the racist and gas face examples were autobiographical).
Score = 12
I don't think Jimmy Dickens even had knowledge of the incident that he was coincidentally mocking. Did you hear the emotion in his voice when he said "of all time"? He just genuinely loved Taylor's video, and clearly what you do when you love a music video is jump on the stage at an unimportant award show to defend it. The difference is being cute and old as opposed to obnoxious and drunk.
Score = 8
It's funny how there will be no Oscars this year because of the CMA's. I got a call from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and they told me they are shutting it down cause blonde lady on the left won all the Oscars for her performance in "Tired Joke".
Score = 20
We still have MONTHS before the Grammys unleash their spin on this classic joke.
"After the break, watch as a never-before-seen pairing of polka and classical music's biggest stars perform their rendition of the year's best meme!"
Score = 4
You are very sane and very behind the curve for this one county music community!
Score = 3
This joke is never going to end :(
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The phrase "You Go, Girl" makes my balls hurt.
Score = 4
Remember when Garth Brooks would smash guitars onstage and everyone would go apeshit because they had never seen anything like it before? The C & W audience is way ahead of their usual curve on this one.
Score = 5
Is today news-about-annoying-old-racist-white-men-that-need-to-die day?
Score = -1
To be fair, Tay Swift on the MTV VMA's was the biggest thing to happen to country music, since, well... Ever I guess. Country Music SUCKS is what I'm tryin to say.
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Toby has something to say to that:
("Have a peaceful Sunday" is the country music version of "Have fun at dinner.")
Score = 12
His pants are throbbing. Oh dear god, why are his pants throbbing?
Score = 15
Cause He's American!
Score = 6
Exactly. He is a virile, blue-collar American male and doesn't care if you can see his pants throbbing or not, you liberal America-hating pansy. He'll put a boot in your ass if you don't like his throbbing pants. U-S-A! U-S-A!
Score = 8
I'm confused by your intent with this Toby Keith-ery.
And also by the downvotes. Country Sucks, don't see how we don't all know that.
Score = 0
I can't wait for the Source Awards. I mean, especially this year.
Score = 4
Thank god they turned down Jimmy's request to do the joke in blackface.
Score = 11
Fingers crossed Wanda Sykes and George Lopez co-host the Academy Awards. "What do you mean you people?" Sykes says after Lopez makes reference to the people in the audience. Mass hilarity ensues.
Score = 5
On a seperate note, Gabe can you please adress the new George Lopez talk show, it is much much worse than Jay Leno, and is so blatantly racist, and George doesn't even know it... plz
Score = 3
I watched approximately 0.7 seconds of this, but in that time I saw that the Eagles were nominated for "Best Country Group". Um, am I missing something? The Eagles are country now? Not that I give a shit, because the thing that the Dude and I have in common is our mutual hatred for the Eagles. Well, that, and we both wear bathrobes to the grocery store.
Score = 5
The Dude abides.
Score = 2
this girl i was haning out with yesterday was all 'im soo excited to watch the CMAs' and i was like
Score = 6
How many times per minute does that dude smash the other guys head? Can I get an approximate number because it looks to be in the millions.
Score = 2
83 times.
Score = 15
The model/actress/country singer (who I assume has a name, but I'm not going to look it up) on the left in the video is so "in" on the geriatric's joke that she actually ruins the joke.
Score = 2
that would be carrie underwood, former american idol contestant
Score = 0
man, i really didn't think the whole kanye incident was funny at first, but after hearing jokes about it roughly 379 times, its totally hilarious! All it took was a member of the lollipop guild in a cowboy hat. Thanks CMA's!
Score = 5
you mean carrie underwood?
good god why do i know that...
Score = 0
Kanye West is responsible for me knowing who the hell Taylor Swift is. He made her a superstar. Sort of. His actions have created lots of public sympathy for Swift. Last night, that sympathy was on steroids and it morphed into a-little-bit-more-than-subtle racism. More importantly, this joke will continue to cycle through every awards show until the 2010 VMAs.
Score = 1
Man, this just makes me hate Taylor Swift even more. The person in the room that should be the most tired of this played out bullshit is acting like she doesn't even know what's going on.
Score = 2
Not only is this totally played out and, yeah, kind of racist, seeing everyone treat Kanye West like a big joke makes me worry that people will forget George W. Bush really didn't care about black people. Seriously.
Score = 2
"It just looks like fun." is exactly why I listen to country music in my office on 42nd Street in Manhattan. Country music is really fun. I don't watch the awards shows.
Score = 0
Man, I still make Soy Bomb jokes at just the worst times.
Score = 2
83 times? So about as many times as there were Kanye West jokes last night?
Someone stop me. I'm on a roll.
Score = 1
"YOU GO, LITTLE JIMMY DICKENS!" is what Mommy shouts to Daddy before they start jumping on the bed.
Score = 0