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June 12, 2009

Paris Hilton Wants Credit For Almost Having But Not Having Balls In Her Face (This Time)

thumbnail icon: Paris Hilton Wants Credit For Almost Having But Not Having Balls In Her Face (This Time)

Paris Hilton, a paragon of class, taste, and good decision making skills, has confirmed that she was the original target for the Eminem-Bruno prank at the MTV Movie Awards but she politely declined, because of how she's a lady. From 50Cent.livejournal.com:

Paris Hilton has confirmed she was the first target for Sacha Baron Cohen's bare bum at the MTV Movie Awards last month, but she refused to be a part of a ceremony skit when she "got wind" of what was planned.

She tells "Extra," "(Awards show producer) Mark Burnett asked if I wanted to be involved in something that was going to be crazy and, like, a fight might break out. I was like, 'I don't want anything hitting me in the face or anything like that, so I don't know if I want to do that.'

"I'm glad I didn't do that. I love him (Cohen) and think he's hilarious, but I don't know what my parents would think with that (Cohen's bare bum) in my face in the middle of an awards show."

Oh this is so complicated that it makes my brain hurt. Because basically Paris Hilton is trying to get some credit for the Eminem-Bruno thing? That she didn't play any part in? She's honored to have been approached first even though no one knew that, and it's not as if anyone would have cared, or does care, and obviously she's only turning it into a thing now because of how much publicity the stunt got? But also she's trying to show off that she didn't do it? Like somehow we're supposed to think she has dignity now? But not enough dignity to not dig around in someone's diaper for a little bit of that sweet, sweet attention? And also this is where she starts to worry about what her parents think?

In any case, the important thing is that at least we are talking about this! It's called news, and you have to know it.

Posted by Gabe at 2:30 PM in ,
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16 Comments

The comments being left on that posting are profound and some are even raps!.
"man she so stupid..." "bitch is dumb" You're right, she sure is!

Posted by: Bobby Seger profile link at 06/12/09 2:39 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

From what I hear, Paris never wears the same outfit twice. I'm pretty sure that rule extends to her and male balls as well. I mean, to have her face shoved into balls on video twice would just be tacky...

Posted by: Hyla profile link at 06/12/09 2:41 PM  | Reply
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I heard James Murphy was the initial target.

Posted by: That One profile link at 06/12/09 2:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

WHAT WOULD HER PARENTS THINK?

Paris Hilton, you are a class act.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 06/12/09 2:49 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Anyway, maybe now she'll grace us with a new CD. Just kidding. Everyone die.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 06/12/09 2:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Scanners, FTW!

Posted by: Teh_Nightman profile link at 06/12/09 3:20 PM  | Reply
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"I don't know what my parents would think with that (Cohen's bare bum) in my face in the middle of an awards show."

Oh, so that's the difference: She doesn't want to do that in public, only bathed in the soft green glow of the night-vision camera.

Aww, it's cute when whores try not to act like whores.

Posted by: EtWB profile link at 06/12/09 3:35 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

"That is one of the whoriest-looking whores I have ever seen in my life, and I have seen a lot of whores."

Posted by: audrey profile link  in reply to  EtWB's comment at 06/12/09 5:11 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Paris Hilton's doctor told her she can't participate in any activities where balls fly at her face.

Posted by: sophia profile link at 06/12/09 6:29 PM  | Reply
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there goes her social life.

Posted by: HB profile link  in reply to  sophia's comment at 06/12/09 7:12 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Thank you! That's all I could think of when I saw the post title.

Posted by: sophia profile link  in reply to  HB's comment at 06/12/09 7:33 PM  | Reply
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And there goes her social life. And professional life. And private life.

Posted by: Tanis profile link at 06/12/09 6:33 PM  | Reply
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All of this must leave Sacha Baron Cohen in the awkward position of being grateful that it was Eminem's face being graced with his balls.

Posted by: stacey profile link at 06/12/09 9:32 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

your reasoning delivers the best lols. this and the michael bay m&m post are my recent faves.

Posted by: eve at 06/12/09 10:46 PM  | Reply
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I knew that was a body double in those pictures and in that video and in all those salacious US Weekly stories.

Posted by: Brandon M. at 06/13/09 3:34 PM  | Reply
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why would he shove his balls into a girls face. i thought the whole hook of this new flick was about hnow gay he is.
logic people

Posted by: the dust collector profile link at 06/14/09 4:31 PM  | Reply
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