For every kid who tried to get their parents to buy a whoopie cushion from that ad page in every Archie comic, or made a fart sound into a cassette recorder and hid it under a sibling's chair over and over, trying to get the timing right, there's the iPhone app "iFart," which you all probably already know about but I just found out about because I don't have an iPhone, okay? TRY NOT TO LAUGH. It isn't possible:
And it's apparently the #1 selling iPhone app? Of course it is! I really hope there's some dude out there right now buying a McMansion with cash and calling it "The house that farts built." (Thanks for the tip, Alex!)
If one of your New Year's resolutions was to watch better television, or watch less crap television, yay, me too. And smart people like us can start tonight, with the first two episodes of the BBC's six-part 2007 series, The Story Of India, which makes its US premiere on PBS at 9pm, and will continue each Monday through January 19. Look, learning is fun!
If the EXTREME! guys from Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle drank too much vodka and Gatorade and became born again, they would be exactly like the stars of this "Extreme Faith" video. Yes, the guy in the beginning says funny words, but I implore you to watch the middle part, where a voice-over description of Jesus's grisly death set over slow motion extreme-ski-porn reaches the dizzying heights of comic absurdity:
And don't worry, guys: even if you don't know that guy, you'll see him on the powdery slopes of heaven. (Via everythingisterrible.)
Some lawyer in Seattle made a special local commercial just for holiday/New Year divorces. I think the first rule of commercial-making should be "Don't advertise that you will help ruin someone's New Year." Also, the people who are supposed to be in need of Gallagher, Esq.'s services are, like, mean slobs? Hey Mike, they're supposed to represent your clients:
Do you ever wonder how the horny guys on the Craig's List's "Casual Encounters" section capture their own wangs on film with such apparent authenticity? Wonder no more, because it's Bob Odenkirk and his team, whose spare, Dogme-like vision is changing the art world, one Craig's List penis photo at a time. Just like Mickey Rourke:
The Ramen Girl, the little movie about an American girl in Tokyo (Brittany Murphy) who gets dumped by her boyfriend and decides to apprentice herself to a tough but fair Ramen chef, has been taken down from a high shelf at Warner Bros., dusted off, and given a (somewhere) release date of January 17. Soon, we'll have the answer we need after seeing this trailer: Is it SUPPOSED to be funny? It's supposed to be funny. Of course. Right?:
This makes me want to go out and buy some Top Ramen so I can announce, with tears streaming down my face: "I want to cook Ramen!" (It's pronounced "Raaah-menn. Raaaaaaaah-men." by the way. We learned, from this trailer.)
If you happened to turn on ABC during prime time this past Friday night, you were treated to an episode of 20/20 that amounted to an issue of the Weekly World News come to life (vagina edition.) Correspondent Deborah Roberts (Al Roker's wife!) intrepidly reported on the following five stories:
1. Women who have orgasms during childbirth.
2. Women who breastfeed their older children.
3. Women who treat lifelike fake newborns like their real babies.
4. Women who have been surrogate mothers zillions of times.
5. And women who insist on giving birth at home (kind of a snooze after the orgasm one.)
Welcome back! Did we miss anything? The only event worth turning on my computer to see last week was Kathy Griffin's New Year's Eve slip-up on CNN, in which an innocent conversation with Anderson Cooper about The Real Housewives went awry when, after persistently screaming at unseen, unheard hecklers in a shrill muppet-frog voice, Kathy, thinking she was off-air, yelled "I don't come down to where you work and slap the dicks out of your mouth!" Lest anyone credit Kathy's own wit with this classic comedian's response to hecklers, the video, and the expression's Mr. Show With Bob And David connection are after the jump.
Founder/Editor-In-Chief
Scott Lapatine Senior Editors Gabe Delahaye Lindsay Robertson Executive Editor
Amrit Singh Technology & Operations
Jim Jazwiecki
Angela Williams
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
As a rule, a children's movie cannot be the Worst Movie of All Time. Make no mistake, children's movies are categorically horrible, with very few exceptions, and those exceptions tend to be children's movies that are mostly for adults, i.e....
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery, patience, and taste.
The Challenge: Despite being averse to cameras, teamwork, exotic foods, travel, haircuts, and physical exertion, I have to submit an audition tape to Survivor. The Result: As with the Saw marathon challenge, once again I find myself rocking back and...
Even though Lindsay and Gabe are friends, they very rarely agree on anything. Every day, they have a fight about something. On Fridays, we publish one.
Lindsay: the Golden Globes are even stupider and wronger than usual this year! Lindsay: Particularly in the comedy movie category Lindsay: and also the nomination for Entourage Lindsay: What does Entourage have to do to NOT get nominated? Gabe: impossible...
Verne Troyer put down his glass of egg nog and looked out the window at the falling snow. The fuzzy strains of Bing Crosby Christmas played softly in the background, as Verne Troyer's own sex tape flickered in mute on...
