America's Next Top Model: Super Smize Me

[Gabe Liedman is a stand-up comedian, one half of the Gabe and Jenny comedy team with Jenny Slate, currently has a tremendous one-man show at the UCB called No Answers. But at the top of that resume it states that he is Videogum's Official Expert on this season of America's Next Top Model.]

Episode deux de "Le Cycle 13 Collection" was light on the Francais, but heavy on the made-up English. It was the week of "smize"-ing: a word Tyra made up for 'smiling-with-your-eyes,' and then emailed to everyone at Bankable Productions in hot-pink Curlz MT font. There was probably one dummy there at the office who was like "shouldn't it be 'smeyes,' so the word 'eyes' is still in it?" To the family of that dummy: I'm sorry for your loss, but when you get an email from Tyra in hot-pink Curlz MT font, don't ask questions!

The episode starts out with all the [SHORT] models going in for a meeting at their maybe-future modeling agency, Wilhelmina. The girls get coveted one-on-one time with the agency's president, Sean Patterson, and Top Model judge ("noted fashion photographer") Nigel Barker (meow).

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Super Smize Me...

Posted by Gabe Liedman at 12:45 PM in Reality TV
Tags: America's Next Top Model | Fashion | Tyra Banks

Comments (26) latest by Colin

America's Next Top Model: Ya Wanna Be On Top?

[Ed. note: another day, another exciting announcement! If everyone could please join me in welcoming Gabe Liedman to the foldgum (gumfold? It's a made up word, there's no right answer). He is a stand-up comedian, and one half of the Gabe and Jenny comedy team with Jenny Slate. And at the top of that resume it states that he is Videogum's Official Expert on this season of America's Next Top Model.]

America's Next Top Model is now in its lucky 13th "cycle," a term I think they made up for "season," but has nothing to do with "year." What makes this "cycle" different from other "cycles" is the fact that in order to be eligible to "model" during this "cycle," you have to be under 5'7"--or, approximately, the length of Tyra's knee-Spanx. According to Tyra's voiceover monologue on the subject, they changed the rules this "cycle" in order to "prove that fierce has many sizes" (still mostly size 0, no doy, except a short 0 is okay for now (now ONLY)).

Continue reading America's Next Top Model: Ya Wanna Be On Top?...

Posted by Gabe Liedman at 2:30 PM in Reality TV
Tags: America's Next Top Model | Fashion | Tyra Banks

Comments (40) latest by mjwalrus