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February 3, 2009

Ashley Judd Just Found Out That Sarah Palin Collects Severed Wolf Forelegs

And boy, is she mad:

I'm so glad that Ashley Judd has come out of hiding to keep awareness of this atrocity alive, because Severed Wolf ForelegGate (tm) is my favorite Sarah Palin-related scandal. Aside from the obvious cruelty of aerial wolf hunting, in the months since we learned that Sarah Palin is paying Alaskans $150 for every severed wolf foreleg they turn in, EVEN MORE QUESTIONS have arisen about the logistics of this scheme, like:

1. Where do you keep your forelegs before turning (mailing?) them in? In your freezer?

2. Has anyone accidentally had a humorous barbeque mixup where they accidentally throw severed wolf forelegs on the grill? Or even just said to a guest "Oh not that, that's not for the grill. That's my severed wolf foreleg what Sarah Palin's gonna pay me a hundred and fifty bucks for."

3. Are people who have just been on an aerial wolf hunting trip in danger of having their valuable forelegs stolen from their home by thieves? Do they take shifts guarding their freezers with guns?

4. Is it both forelegs, or just the right or left?

5. And again: WHAT ABOUT THE HUSKIES? Surely their forelegs are now in danger. Someone, please think of the huskies (and the wolves.)

Surely, more questions about Sarah Palin's absurd government program will come to light. We must keep Severed Wolf ForelegGate (tm) alive, at least until 2012.

Posted by Lindsay at 9:30 AM in , ,
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10 Comments

eyeonpalin.org? for seriously??

innthefutureeveryonewillbeamichaelmoorefor15minutes.gov

Posted by: bibble at 02/03/09 10:03 AM | Reply
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apesofmath

Never Forget!

Posted by: apesofmath profile link at 02/03/09 10:21 AM | Reply
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Lindsay- what about the most important question:

What does she do with them after they've been turned in?

Posted by: Selena at 02/03/09 11:13 AM | Reply
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Lindsay

I asked that in the original post. She rolls around in them in her Severed Foreleg Barn.

Posted by: Lindsay profile link in reply to Selena's comment at 02/03/09 11:30 AM | Reply
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I see. She's like Scrooge McDuck with his gold coins.
She just throws on her suit and cap and goes for a swim in her ocean of horded forelegs. (YUCK!) Thanks, Lindsay!

Also, Can someone counterfeit a wolf foreleg?
I mean I could really use $150- so if anyone has the knowhow- I think we could totally make out like bandits!

Posted by: Selena in reply to Lindsay's comment at 02/03/09 1:21 PM | Reply
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best part: "Sarah Palin came on the national scene..." i'm twelve.

Posted by: krup at 02/03/09 11:21 AM | Reply
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Ashley Judd is hot. I will obey.

Posted by: Beefy profile link at 02/03/09 11:44 AM | Reply
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I DO like Ashley Judd.
Thrill Kill Palin wants to be PREZNIT.....all horny old republican dudes will vote for her...luckily there are not THAT many...alot of her admirers will be dead in 4 years or in the OLD FOLKS HOME FOR HORNY OLD REPUBLICANS.
Sarah Palin-Tonya Harding 2012!

Posted by: DEO at 02/03/09 1:33 PM | Reply
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Dear Ashley,

Thank you for bringing this video to the public. Your pain and sensitivity are very moving; I deeply share your sentiments. I wish you would star in a movie about this subject and shine the light on Sarah Palin and her brutality. She needs to feel ashamed.

Elizabeth

Posted by: Elizabeth at 02/10/09 3:12 AM | Reply
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PRO-LIFE it's great as long as it's for furry animals.

Posted by: LuLu in reply to Elizabeth's comment at 02/20/09 7:39 AM | Reply
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