Like a drunk Republican in her best sparkly clubbin' dress, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog crashed the convention in a plastic elephant costume, but for some reason they allowed him to stay and insult, humiliate, and fondle Republican politicians, delegates, and Karl Rove all week. Last night Conan aired Triumph's report:
On Palin: "She's a heartbeat away from being president and twelve years away from being a Great-Grandmother." They need to send Triumph to the debates.
It has been revealed that Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin supports the practice of "aerial wolf hunting," which to be honest sounds amazing and like the best thing. But apparently it's not and it's also horrible. Basically, what it entails is going up in a plane, finding a wolf, and chasing that wolf with a plane. Sometimes you shoot the wolf from the plane, but sometimes you figure that maybe it's easier to just keep chasing the wolf until it gets really tired and lays down for a nap, and then you land the plane and shoot the wolf in its sleeping face. Wait, whuuuuuuut? I'm not a vegetarian by any means, and I'm not even morally opposed to hunting, but that is so upsetting. Even Christian the Lion might have to rethink his position on humans and whether or not they are worth hugging.
But aerial wolf hunting reminds me of something else.
David Duchovny has been in the news lately, having made announcements and such about his recent troubles with sex addiction. Duchovny was one of my first grown-up TV star crushes, and I wish him the very best of luck getting the support he needs to -- Oh, fuck it all, there's no way to do this tastefully: I just remembered the Pedigree commercials for which Duchovny provides the voice of the dogs, like this one where he instructs the viewer to rub his belly, which in light of recent news, are now funnier. Because he's a dog. "Seriously. Rub it":
Gabe will be playing us out in a few minutes with some new Worst Movie choices, and then we 'Gums will be going off the grid Into The Wild-style until first thing Tuesday morning. This is how I feel about it. This dog is me:
Have a safe and happy Labor Day weekend, and don't forget to watch the first big show of the blessedly-impending Triumphant Return Of Television To America: Gossip Girl Season Two premieres Monday night.
It must be a slow news week for CNN, because when they learned that a Texas man had found the face of Jesus on a moth's back, they rushed to the scene:
It's kind of scary that the not-smart man helpfully labeled "Found Moth" actually MAKES FUN of people who have seen Jesus on grilled cheese sandwiches and other stupid places. He dismisses them because his stupid Jesus sighting is "cooler." The delusional people are getting smarter! Also, remember what the preacher says: it's important that you DO NOT WORSHIP this moth. This is the country we live in, y'all.
The Grizzly Man Diaries, a prequel-of-sorts to Werner Herzog's celebrated documentary about the life and death of Timothy Treadwell, Grizzly Man, finally premieres tonight on Animal Planet. Two episodes of the 8-part series will air every Friday night at 9 and feature some of the hundreds of hours of footage not used in Herzog's documentary. The New York Times reviewed the new series today and seem a little squirmy about it:
It seems obvious now that Mr. Treadwell...deluded himself into thinking he was more a member of the bear tribe than he was. How deluded was he? "Hi, Emmy; hi, Letterman," he says, addressing Melissa's two cubs after their mother has abandoned them. "It's your dad."
That kind of behavior among animals with a killer instinct makes this mini-series look like a chronicle of one man's extended suicide. And, especially since it is from some of the same producers who were behind the Herzog film, that leaves the program with a gratuitous, ghoulishly voyeuristic feel.
After the jump, four never-before-seen clips of Treadwell and the bears from the new series.
If Timothy Treadwell dressed his dogs up for Halloween and took video and then they ate him and Werner Herzog made a documentary out of it, this would be the best clip from that movie.
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We once again interrupt Videogum's usual posting schedule of viral fart videos and behind-the-scenes Jennie Garth news in order to display our second post that is an actual advertisement. Fuji won't quit with the contests. In case you are worried...
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
I'm coming to realize that I've set for myself an impossible task. I'm like Don Quixote facing off against the windmills, except that the windmills are really difficult to watch, and often the windmills have Bruce Willis or Dakota Fanning...
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery, patience, and taste.
The Challenge: Despite being averse to cameras, teamwork, exotic foods, travel, haircuts, and physical exertion, I have to submit an audition tape to Survivor. The Result: As with the Saw marathon challenge, once again I find myself rocking back and...
Even though Lindsay and Gabe are friends, they very rarely agree on anything. Every day, they have a fight about something. On Fridays, we publish one.
Gabe: who is worse for the country Gabe: sarah palin or serena van der woodsen? Lindsay: Well definitely Palin. Gabe: no, i mean as president Gabe: just kidding Gabe: a serena van der woodsen presidency Gabe: though Gabe: would be...
Violin music gently filled the tastefully appointed Tea Room at the Plaza Hotel. Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodsen sat at a table near the back, along with Nate Archibald, Chuck Bass, and Dan Humphrey. Accompanying them were Heidi...
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