Craigslist + Reality TV + Misogyny = Viral Marketing For Your Shitty Band?
This is a "real" Craigslist posting. Which is to say it is really on Craigslist. The content of the post is obviously fake.
Well, that was awful. Oh wait, it goes on (and on, and on):
Ideal candidates will be cunty females and will possess an eating disorder, a mild drug habit, have many sycophantic gay homosexual male friends who always tell them they are right, have bad relationships with one or more of their parents and have relocated to NYC from somewhere else that they now talk shit about.You will be picked to live in a loft with 12 other "fag hags" and compete in contests such as: "Being A Cunt", "Eating a Dick", and "Sucking Up To Your Boss" for prizes including, but not limited to: food, nail polish, tampons, trips to places in Brooklyn, worthless praise, upper lip hair removal, self esteem, and manny/peddies.
You must be willing to have a replica of your very own pussy tattooed above your asshole for the season finale.
A professional background in Corporate Human Resources or Publicity will REALLY up your chances of getting selected cause every one knows this is where you find the cuntiest females!
Auditions to be held in Chelsea during the last week of May.
Send headshot, bio and emotional issues to epilepticarson@gmail.com
IN YOUR FACE, CUNTY WOMEN, THE ENTIRE HUMAN RESOURCES INDUSTRY, AND ALSO THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF CHELSEA! There is a link at the end which ultimately redirects you to this shithead's MySpace page. Top 8! Oh man, this guy is the best. I love how he not only takes women down a peg, FINALLY, but he also plays shitty music. 'Competing in a contest such as "Eating a Dick"', so funny, Lots Of Love. It really captures the essence of reality TV. This guy is like the Seinfeld of Craigslist. All in all, this whole thing is just perfect. And it makes sense, too. I'm pretty sure David Bowie got his start on the path to being one of the most respected rock musicians in the world by posting fake insufferable Craigslist ads for offensive joke reality shows. The best part is that posting job listings on Craigslist COSTS 25 DOLLARS. Worth every penny. Economic crisis, ECONIC SCHMRISIS.
He's all yours, Warden.
Posted by Gabe at 5:00 PM in Ad Wizards, Viral Marketing
Tags: Craigslist | Fag Hag | Reality TV
Do most casting announcements ask the participants to be "cunty"? I mean, other than on Bravo
Score = 22
"Siddhartha in a Chevy" is actually one of his songs.
Really.
Score = 10
Aww yes. And here's the chorus (is this even coherent?):
"And I’d have followed you to Mars my pretty
But it’s that much farther from New York City
And I don’t think you’re worth the ride"
I think we have a winner on our hands.
Score = 9
I like that he stipulates the women must have "gay homosexual male friends." I know a girl who would be perfect for this, but all her friends are straight homosexual men. Damn!
Score = 32
Isn't cuntiest a unit of measurement in Europe?
Score = 17
We've already been down this Yellow Douche Road: http://tinyurl.com/ctccw5
Score = 6
Wow. Even the same production "company".
Score = 1
uh oh: "He serves up acoustic-based rock ‘n roll that swaggers like the Stones, preaches like the Boss and gets itself into trouble like Kid Rock."
Hi, you're a grown up.
Score = 20
I love how one of his songs is called 'Your Mother's Boyfriend'. He's not even your boyfriend!
Score = 7
I smell a Double Dog...
Score = 6
"...gay homosexual male friends..." is that like one of those negative + negative = positive things?
Score = 3
Actually if you can't stand faghags, it's pretty funny. Too bad it links to a band. Wouldve enjoyed the webseries.
Score = -24
Double plus good gay
Score = 0
there has been ongoing Craigslist vandalism in an effort to reduce people working for free on film and video projects. About a month ago the pages were overloaded with fake, tongue in cheek ads followed by diatribes against filmmakers using free labor.
Here is an example I saved:
"We are a fun, hypocritical, exciting, dishonest, generous, slave-driving, loving, disrespectful of your talent and time, grateful, lowlife, bunch of wannabes
who don't know jack about the business, want to wing our way into oblivion for the sake of our own miserable little egos.
If you are dumb enough to fall for this crap, you deserve to be taken advantage of.
The satisfaction of working for crew members who are descendants of Mother Teresa does not feed the kiddies, pay the rent or fills your tank.
Quit playing down your real motives.
If you don't have enough money to pay at least minimum wage, don't make a blipping movie.
Take your wonderful crew and charming personalities and get new careers!
It takes people to make films, it takes money to pay these people and these people don't live off the kindness of strangers.
PAY UP YOU CHEAP, LOUSY BASTARDS!!!
"
Score = 0
I thought this might all be a joke, a dismissive play on the typically stupid, banal reality shows that VH1, MTV, Bravo, etc., play nonstop nowadays, and that clearly need help that being on national tv won't provide.
Then I looked at his myspace page. Nope, this is definitely legitimate.
Score = 0
He pretty much nails it though. Fag hags are insufferable. I don't mind the shameless promotion of his shitty music because the fake ad is hilarious and mostly on-point, besides the random dig at HR departments.
Score = -17
His own [probably self-written] bio:
"And then there are the lyrics. Chances are you’ve not heard anything like them. Chances are you won’t know how to take them on first listen. . ."
Come with me to the cop bar / cop bar
That's where the cops are / cops are
...Won't know how to take them or won't know how to stand them?
Score = 9
I'm waiting to be on the spin-off series called LesBros.
Score = 5
Hey, come on, guys, even if you aren't a fan of this guy's music, you have to admit that this is actually pretty funny if you hate women and/or homos.
Score = 6
Haha tampons. Women have uteruses. Haha. Biting social satire.
The world needs more jokes about tampons.
Score = 3
This shit is insanely funny and this guy's songs are catchy as hell.. I can't get them out of my head... Cop Bar Cop Bar... Half Human Half Backseat.. on top of that.. he wins cause all you morons are talking about him.... so I'd say he has succeeded in his goal..... after all...he's not out there blogging about you...unless of course your a cunt... than..maybe he is... I say Boo Yah Epileptic Arsonis!!t... keep it up!!
Score = -6