You guys, this Sunday is the single most important day of the year, and anyone who is not celebrating with an awkward date at a restaurant with an overpriced mildly comical prix-fixe menu is a loser and should feel really bad about themselves! If you go into work on Monday and you didn’t have a date on Sunday, don’t you dare touch the leftover Valentine’s Day candy that the secretary put in a bowl at the edge of the reception desk. Those treats are for LOVERS ONLY! Just kidding. What a stupid holiday Valentine’s Day is! Although, the only thing worse than people who get too into Valentine’s Day are the people who complain too much about Valentine’s Day. Like that whole cottage industry of anti-Valentine’s Day gift books and sardonic candies? Ugh. Let’s all remember that we are adults and that we do not need to get upset about things that we recognize as silly. Hating Valentine’s Day is the biggest waste of energy I have ever heard of, and I have been recapping the first season of thirtysomething! In 2010! Besides, remember when you were a little girl, how Valentine’s Day was kind of the best? You would put a homemade giant envelope on the side of your desk or the back of your chair and everyone would put cards in it and you would feel so pretty and some of the cards had candy in them? That was nice. Let’s be more like that little girl! Let us make our own line of Valentine’s Day cards! Here is one I made:
It is for that special someone you are sleeping with behind your wife’s back! You know, ROMANCE! Download your blank card here and send your final designs to firstname.lastname@example.org. IMPORTANT NOTE: do NOT post your cards in the comments, although you can use the comments to workshop your ideas if you are getting stuck. I will collect all of them and put them together into a gallery on Friday and then you can choose your favorite and send it to your special sweetheart/mom.