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If you’re anything like me, then over the past few weeks as a media firestorm has brewed over the recent arrest of Roman Polanski on decades old warrants stemming from his 1977 arrest and trial for drugging and sodomizing a 13-year-old girl (not necessarily in that order) you have had to ask yourself: where is Jamie Foxx in all this? Why will he not provide the world with his opinion on the Roman Polanski situation? Luckily, the great man and even greater thinker has finally decided to emerge from his J.D. Salinger like solitude and provide us with some of his penetrating insights into the matter. From MSNBC:
“If it had been my daughter who was barely a teenager — my daughter is 15 — Roman Polanski would be missing … period,” Foxx stated in an interview with Parade magazine. “It wouldn’t even get to the court case. But, that’s me and I wouldn’t want anyone else to follow that because you should let the justice system work it out.”
Um…obviously, I love vigilante justice. We all do. But is Jamie Foxx seriously saying that if anything ever happened to his daughter, he would take the law into his own hands? Against Roman Polanski? Because a) that is hilarious, and b) Jamie Foxx is retarded. As a human being with a heart made of muscle and emotions and whatever else hearts are made of, I sincerely hope that nothing ever happens to Jamie Foxx’s daughter, but somewhere deep in the shadowy mean recesses of my stupid, dessicated brain where the jokes are made, I kind of wish that something would happen to her (no I don’t, I really don’t, but yes I do, for the sake of this joke) just to see what Jamie Foxx would do. Roman Polanski is in jail now (sorry, Woody Allen!), so it would have to be a comparable director? I don’t know. Paul Thomas Anderson? I hated Magnolia, but There Will Be Blood was pretty great.
Oh, also, Jamie Foxx is not done. He has more to say:
Foxx went on to explain that while his perspective might have been different had he known the director personally, as do many of his Hollywood peers, ultimately he believes “this whole issue is bigger than Roman Polanski.” So big, it forces Foxx to confront his own complex sense of revenge.
“Revenge is a tough thing,” “The Soloist” star said. “When it comes to someone bringing harm to your family, it’s hard to think about turning the other cheek. When I hear about things that we allow to go on in our society where women are harmed, I just knee-jerk. I’ve said some things publicly that my publicist keeps telling me I should keep to myself. I don’t know if that’s my Texas upbringing, but there comes a point where you just say, ‘OK, that would be my tipping point. What would I do?’ Some of things I’ve said I’d do to sexual perpetrators were pretty graphic. But I also read some stories of people taking the law into their own hands, which is bad too. So it’s tough to know how far you’d go.”
Hahaha, WHAT?
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!??!?
Is it, Jamie Foxx? Is it tough to know how far you’d go? Let me guess. You would go from the wing of your mansion that is floored entirely in MoonBounce inflated walkways, down through your helicopter collection, past the Olympic Size Hot Tub, through the food court, to the videophone, where you would wipe the cocaine from your chin before calling your assistant and demanding that he call the police. That is about how far you would go, you fucking insane, pompous nightmare. You read articles about people taking the law into their own hands. Right. Where did you read articles? Word search puzzles and sushi restaurant take-out menus are not articles, Jamie Foxx.
Roman Polanski committed a horrible crime a long time ago and will have to face up to the legal ramifications of his 30 year self-imposed exile, but Jamie Foxx is the fucking WORST.
P.S. Haha, The Soloist star.
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I was just wondering what Jamie Foxx had to say about the whole thing. He’s always so insightful and understated, like the Dalai Lama but a different race and also a rich asshole.
I miss the old buck-toothed Jamie Foxx from In Living Color.
“Word search puzzles and sushi restaurant take-out menus are not articles, Jamie Foxx.”
I laughed out loud.
I?m so tired of reading about celebrities? revenge fantasies in Parade magazine. I?m just sitting there, enjoying my Sunday morning Postum and cream of wheat, looking to enjoy a little Howard Huge and Marilyn Vos Savant, and instead I get this?
I have to ask myself if this is viral marketing for some upcoming Jamie Foxx revenge action pic a la Ransom or Paparazzi. I am happy that it’s not, because that means it is real and hilarious.
Also, he should totally seeks vigilante justice for THAT HEINOUS PICTURE OF HIM THAT YOU CONTINUE TO USE. Man, so funny.
Except that is it…kinda. http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1623721/story.jhtml
“If it had been my daughter who was barely a teenager — my daughter is 15 — Roman Polanski would be missing … period,”. Hmmmm, I wonder what he’s planning to do him, probably he would take Roman out to dinner, and then after they pay the check just never leave, they’ll just make small talk and order some breadsticks. And what’s the restaurant goin’ do about ask Polanski and Foxx to leave, you know having them there is going to drive up business. Yeah, that’s what he’ll do a never ending pleasant night out at a restaurant.
yes, yes we all love the Olive Garden
The combination of title and picture made me truly believe that Jamie Foxx was being interviewed while indicating his pecs in a particularly Worst-like manner. But it’s nothing quite as bizarre as that. He’s just threatening to kill a hypothetical old man.
Jamie Foxx. Just a law-abiding citizen.
(GET IT?!?)
Amazing.
Haha, sexual perpetrator. I love malapropisms, they are so delirious. Jamie Foxx is a sexual perpetrator, probably, but I wish he wasn’t.
Jamie Foxx. Isn’t he the one that made fun of Hannah Montana and told her to have sex with her dad? Yikes.
I thought about that when I saw that he mentioned his daughter considering Miley Cyrus is only a year older than her.
yup. ?[miley should] make a sex tape and grow up.?
-(C) 2009 jamie foxx inc.
I know there is a “blame it on the alcohol” joke in here somewhere, but I don’t want to expend the energy to find it.
It’s funny that you said Jamie Foxx is retarded, because, well, um, his face?
Also, does he imply that he would only go after Polanski if he’d raped his daughter if she were younger? Because he goes out of his way to say that she’s 15, like she’s fair game now.
But did you see him on Conan, when he reassured the public that the picture of his huge cock IS his huge cock?
I forgot to mention: Class Act.
Oh good, a Jamie Foxx post. That gives me an excuse to link to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47r-0VlvkzM … gets reasonably funny around 1:10.
This is my version of posting a kitty picture to avoid the subject.
I’ve seen this, and it makes me think that Jamie Foxx is even more pathetic than I thought. That guy’s not very funny, but Foxx is an asshole.
I didn’t know assholes of that magnitude actually existed.
Roman Polanski would be missing … period
The ellipsis there is actually the word “his.” Jamie Foxx would get Roman Polanski preggers.
Magnolia was just too long. It had great moments, and really well developed characters, but the movie is exhausting. There Will be Blood is obviously great, but PTA’s best movie is easily Boogie Nights. Its basically a perfect movie. So let’s not hypothetically vigilante his ass.
This is the same guy who said Miley Cyrus should make a sex tape? I want to see Jamie Foxx go vigilante on Jamie Foxx.
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Sorry, Headmaster HarshFace!
Sorry isn’t going to get you out of your weekend detention, Mr. Matthews.
this post was one of my favorites in quite a while… I can’t wait for this weeks ‘You Can Make It Up’!
I liked Magnolia.
You hated Magnolia?? Oh man, you’re breaking my heart with that one.
Yeh, Magnolia is pretty fucking great.
Magnolia’s amazing. Certainly one of Tom Cruise’s best performances ever. Punch-Drunk Love is also criminally underrated.
Magnolia’s fucking boss, but it’s no Crank.
“Foxx went on to explain that while his perspective might have been different had he known the director personally, as do many of his Hollywood peers.”
what the fuck does that even MEAN? like if he was buddy buddy with Roman Polanski and THEN he rapped his daughter, itd be all HEY HO? WHATEVZ. FREE PASS!
The visual of Jamie Foxx bouncing down his mansion hallways that are covered in Moon Bounces has had me LOLing for five fucking minutes at my desk. I literally cannot stop laughing. Seriously, HALP!!
If she’s 15, There Will Be Blood, indeed…
Bless you for your bravery, sir.
Jamie Foxx will drink your milkshake! (sorry, seriously. sorry.)
That p.s. almost made me pee my pants. Whoops, thats your resume. I wonder why MSNBC didn’t use “Bootie Call” instead?
my name is willie, willie beeeeeeeamen
Bring it on Jamie!!!
if gabe hates magnolia, then i hate gabe.
Then I hate you.
I see your Lion King and raise you THE GAYS
Magnolia was great. I thought all the performances were the best performances any of those actors have ever given. That soundtrack is still one of my favorite albums, those Aimee Mann songs are the best! One thing that disturbed me is the frogs raining from the sky. That’s not something that actually happens, right? I really hope that never happens, but, if it did ever happen, it would be the day after I washed my car, which I hardly ever do.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raining_animals
Roman Polanski is just lucky that Samantha, the girl he got freaky with back in the day, HAS no father… Period. We’re lucky too, cuz if she did have a father, we would’ve never gotten to see Nastassja Kinski’s bare boobs in Tess or even Roman’s legendary, uncredited appearance as Detective Revi in Rush Hour 3.
His texas upbringing makes him want revenge. I wonder if his texas upbringing was the cause of his role in In Living Color.
I’d be careful if I were you guys. JAMIE FOXX IS THE LAW.
Leave Roman Polanski alone! LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Gabe you suck, you have too much time on your hands and the jealousy issue. Go win the lotto loser.
I don’t understand why people like to pretend why celebrities were born in some sort of platinum bubble just because they’re famous -now-. You don’t know what kind of upbringing he had, the hardships he went through on the way to financial success, just because he hit it big with Ray (or Any Given Sunday, if we’re being generous) doesn’t mean he is suddenly some clawless teddy bear.
Just because you (or anyone) has less money than Jamie Foxx (or anyone) doesn’t mean that either of you is harder or softer than the other.
Get over yourself, b.
Ok am I hearing this crap correctly? People on this site, including the dumbass who wrote the article is backing polanski? What planet are you people from? The dude drugged and raped a 13 year old girl. I dont care what movies he made, he can have them all back. How can you honestly make fun of a man for saying that he would take the life of someone who has violated his daughter. Do any of you have children? If you did….I think you would understand the gravity of his statement. Instead you blow it out of context and turn it into a joke. Also you turn his comments around from other instances and use them out of context to try to make yourselves sound intelligent. Not only did Polanski rape a 13 year old girl, but he Left the country evading capture. All the US wants is to give him 2 years. Not to mention that evading capture is also a friggin crime. I have no sympathy for him. He should be in jail until he dies. This reminds me of the dave chappelle skit about putting famous white people through the same law system that the rest of us deal with. Do you think any of your would have been able to go home and have a CHANCE to escape. Jamie Foxx was completely justified in what he said and any parent should have those sentiments exactly.
http://www.worldscutestanimals.com/gallery/watermark.php?file=30