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Oh man, how mad are you that this guy already has your name? You probably just finished all of the legal paperwork to have it changed this morning and were about to head down to the courthouse after you finished putting fresh flowers in your homemade 9/11 memorial (which is two tall, silver vases standing next to each other bursting with red and orange flowers), so I’m obviously sorry to have to be the one to break it to you that you’re too late. The young Norwegian, formerly known as Andreas Jankov, has already changed his name to Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. From VG Nett:
“I wanted to show that it is possible to be serious and at the same time take the name you like,” said Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov to VG Nett.
Well you have proven that, sir. You seem very serious!
This was my favorite part:
The 30-year-old has acquired both passports and bank cards, but the name he has no room for.
The passport has Highlander omitted.
You go to all that trouble, and then something like this happens. I think that Elessar, one of the Elvish names for Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings could have been more easily dropped from the passport than Highlander, since most customs officers are not necessarily Tolkein superfans. But I’m not in charge of Norwegian Passport Law (yet).
Anyway, I’m sure this is a blow for you (is what she said), and I’m sorry. Obviously, no two people are allowed to have the same name. That’s an internationally respected law. But here are a few other names that you could get if you still wanted:
- Boba Fett Homer Simpson Bilbo Baggins Iron Man
- Dungeons and Dragons Darth Vader Spock Atari 2600
- V for Vendetta Monster Mash The Sims
- World of Warcraft Jones
Good luck! (Thanks for the tip, Paul.)
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Tyra Tattoo (Fantasy Island) Lansbury Fife That Harrison Ford Character from Blade Runner DeGeneres-Rossi
Lay off Lansbury. Srsly. Dibs, and all.
Is it just me or this thumbhead with a blonde mullet wig trying to get the focus off of his ridiculous thumbhead?
I think he’s drawing attention to it by hiding his real thumb.
I thought he looked more like one of those obese babies on Maury all growed up.
If Bob Jones can have a conservative christian university named after him, I’m sure WoW Jones can have an online correspondence school someday.
Lara Trinity Xena Lady Gwyneth Buffy Roslin
I think you mean Lara Trinity Xena Lady Gwyneth Buffy Roslin Delahaye. That’s your wife, Gabe.
I think you mean Lara Trinity Xena Lady Gwyneth Buffy Gosselin Delahaye. That’s Gabe’s wife.
I just hope that to spite him there is a brutal Peter Jakson CGI masterwork of narrative ingenuity (dragons don’t drive the plot, but are useful nonetheless) released soon called simply: Andreas Jankov. Then sucks-to-be-you, long name. How much did your haircut cost, factoring in the laser level required for that fringe?
He mis-spelled Chewbacka. It’s the straw that made the camel look like an idiot.
I mis-spelled Jackson. And he is a real human.
I noticed that too. In my defense, I only know how Chewbacca is spelled because my parents named our dog that. We call him Chewie. I was bred by nerds.
That face! My God, that face.
The Hunt For The Worst Nightmare Face Of All Time. This guy V. Robin Williams.
When i saw his picture and before a read the headline i thought to myself “wow he really looks like a Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov”. Kind of like my friend Rob just looks like a “Rob”. It’s hard to explain but you know a Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov when you see one.
And now I’ve seen one I agree.
Someone should change their name to Andrea Jankov. You know. Just to show him who’s boss.
You guys can heretofore refer to me as Becca Fezzik Inigo Willow Montoya Cullen Bella Legolas Vigo of Carpathia. Becca for short.
clearly, he and Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined need to get together.
http://current.com/items/89484683_teen-breaks-record-with-super-hero-name-change.htm
Wait, there’s more people who do this? How is this a thing? Who let this become a thing?
Carl “Lady Gaga” Weathers-Winslow
At first glance I thought his Passport had a mini-mullet. I see a little party in the back. . .
Ms. Ariel Peach Fern Gully
Marty George Doc Emmett Brown McFly-Delorean
I’m changing my name to Tyler Perry presents Seth Mcfarlane. Got to keep expectations a low as possible
LOLOL you win.
jesus man you didn’t have to go for the gold and give us all nightmares… Perry could easily take over the Cleavland show and make it TBS very funny
But, I’d bet he can really sing. Just like most other awkward-looking-Norwegians-that-beat-Kelly-Clarkson-on-the-1st-ever-World-Idol.
He should have added Donkeylips in there somewhere.
“There can only be one Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka HIGHLANDER Elessar-Jankov” — Tagline for the new Highlander movie.
From this point on please address me as: Jon Lohan Gosselin Peterson Hardy Audigier Michael Phelps.
from facebook, to the former Andreas Jankov:
Name Change denied
He picks 7 new names and one of them is MacGyver? Is anyone gonna touch on this?
MacGyver Chewbacca Highlander. Two iconic movie heroes, one 80′s sitcom. Hilarious.
He really shouldn’t drop the Elessar. That’s the most meaningful one. Its the title Aragorn acquired when he achieved his birthright and reclaimed the thrown of Gondor. Kind of like when this guy regained the title of craziest slash nerdiest fucking names ever. If he drops any lord of the rings names it should be Gimli, but he should probably add GIl-galad. (readjusts glasses on nose.)
Still beats Apple Martin.
That’s Apple Blythe Alison Martin to you, goathair.
My full name is Bingo Gas Station Motel Cheeseburger With A Side Of Aircraft Noise And You’ll Be Gary Indiana.
Not lying. It actually turns up a Google result albeit a terrible one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFbsWkaG8eI
I do believe in you people.
“My name? Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. But my friends just call me ‘pussy magnet’”.
I’m going to change my name to Final Fantasy Neo Geo T’pal Knight Rider Where the Wild Things Are Malkovich Levinson Gould
omg. best. comments. thread. everrrr. we are at a code red nerd alert here, people. i love it! this guy has substantially increased the value of my LOLk portfolio.
Awww, these comments make me wish I was losernerd like you guys.
Norseman of the Apocalypse.
Apparently there can’t necessarily be only one.
Thanks for the warning, Gabe! It would be so awkward if my boyfriend and I had the same name.
just glad I could lend the videogum community a tip. unfortunately, I’m still keeping my recent name change: captain underscore movie trailer orgasm sawyer esquire.
There’s a joke about his middle name being “virgin” or something but I’m too tired to try and solve this puzzle.
I know I know, too mean.
He can’t be named Highlander…THERE CAN ONLY BE ONNNNEEEE!
I feel like this guy and Techno Viking should battle for Inter-galactic Norwegian supremacy.
Does the hyphenated Elessar-Jankov mean he married Aragorn? And where does the Julius come from? Schwarzeneggar’s character in Twins?
…………Honestly???!!! You really have NO FREAKING LIFE, do you? I mean, you already look ridiculous enough, with your stupid, blond mullet and your out-of-place ginger beard, but yet, you elect to make yourself even MORE of a D.U.M.B.A.S.S, yes, with that many periods, just for effect, by legally altering your name to Julius Andreas Gimli I-whack-off-to-pictures-of-donkeys-and-small-boys-and-STILL-live-in-mommy’s-basement-because-none-of-the-opposit-gender-will-EVER-find-me-attractive thewholeworldislaughingatme andnobodylikesyouorwillever Jank-me-ov. Get off the warcraft, put down LOTR after reading it for the 700 th time, and find yourself a girl. She doesn’t have to be pretty, just for God’s sake, man, join humanity and get out of the mancave. Seriously. for your own good, and to quell my murderous intent. Now go outside and play.
…………Honestly???!!! You really have NO FREAKING LIFE, do you? I mean, you already look ridiculous enough, with your stupid, blond mullet and your out-of-place ginger beard, but yet, you elect to make yourself even MORE of a D.U.M.B.A.S.S, yes, with that many periods, just for effect, by legally altering your name to Julius Andreas Gimli I-whack-off-to-pictures-of-donkeys-and-small-boys-and-STILL-live-in-mommy’s-basement-because-none-of-the-opposit-gender-will-EVER-find-me-attractive thewholeworldislaughingatme andnobodylikesyouorwillever Jank-me-ov. Get off the warcraft, put down LOTR after reading it for the 700 th time, and find yourself a girl. She doesn’t have to be pretty, just for God’s sake, man, join humanity and get out of the mancave. Seriously. for your own good, and to quell my murderous intent. Now go outside and play.