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Oh, True Blood. Like many shows, each week usually ends with some kind of dramatic cliff-hanger, and like many shows, that dramatic cliff-hanger is quickly, unceremoniously, and anti-climactically resolved within the first five minutes of the next episode. It’s a frustrating trend. It’s the main reason I stopped watching Heroes! (Take that, Hollywood.)
But last week’s episode of True Blood had me convinced that finally we were getting somewhere. The rednecks had set the “vampire hive” (seriously?) on fire with molotov cocktails and Bill Compton was supposedly staying there and the coroner pulled four charred coffins full of blood out of the wrecked house. Sookie ran up and was so upset! Oh no! Maybe Bill is dead! Of course, I didn’t really think that Bill Compton could be dead since the romance between Sookie and Bill is the driving engine of the show’s narrative (the way that Tara is the driving engine of the show’s awfulness). But then again, it’s not TV, it’s HBO, and also this show was based on a book, and book’s are all about delving into damaged psyches and stuff, and I could totally imagine Sookie losing Bill right when she’d finally found love as being some kind of poignant something or other that redefines her character for the rest of the season. ALSO, I was on IMDB last week to look something up, and saw this:
Only 8 episodes?! Jesus, IMDB, SPOILER ALERT! So anyway, I was ready to give True Blood some credit. Maybe this show was about to become something larger and less silly. But then this happened (NSFW), and nope:
Um, WHAT? He was buried naked in a graveyard waiting for Sookie to come along so they could have rape sex? WHAT IS THIS? As Sookie cheerfully explains later, “he’s alive because he didn’t go to the house, he just went to the graveyard.” Why? He spends every night sleeping in his basement, FULLY CLOTHED, but now all of a sudden he sleeps naked in the graveyard? This makes no sense, and I kept waiting all throughout the episode for someone to explain to me why he was sleeping naked in the graveyard (and why he had to be a nightmare with the whole ankle grabbing thing, because what?) but no one explained it to me because there is no explanation because this is bullshit.
Has this entire show and everything about it been on FAIL Blog yet?
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Sookie’s so annoying after she has sex with a vampire.
I realized the girl who plays Amy was in Mean Girls!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0135221/
She looks so familiar.
that rape was so weird.
also – the guy that lafayette had sex with was the “i believe you have my stapler” guy from office space!!!
stapler guy also had the worst line – “i always look forward to monday nights – first heroes, then you.”
what? is this show owned by nbc?
Yes they did.
He got her messages telling him that the people might torch the vampires house, so he didn’t think it was safe to sleep at his house, and instead he slept in the graveyard.
“Leave the clothes. There’s no time!”
He didn’t even sleep in HIS OWN grave. He was just naked in some random pile of dirt in the graveyard. No. This is nonsense.
he also raped her neck when she said no. no.
i just had the worst week ever… missed fringe first, then ghost hunters, then jon hamm hosting snl, then true blood and mad men..
i feel like rip van winkle or some shyt….
So, he was just waiting underground, erection at the ready?
Could you at least pay attention to the show if you’re going to post on it? They did explain why he was sleeping in the graveyard. And she didn’t tell him not to bite her, she just said not in the neck (so he bit her chest).
if the entire show is as bad as the few scenes you post, this show is fucking terrible. anna paquin made my eyes scream for mercy with her fake crying.
probably her bringing flowers for him was just some role playing they do to keep their sex life fresh, because what kind of a girl would go to the graveyard barefoot, in a summer dress, with no undies on and fake cry over her boyfriend’s grave unless she knew it was ‘fake rape from beyond the dead’ night, right?
also, many people, both alive and undead, enjoy sleeping in the nude, so that’s not an issue. he’s just a naked sleeper. or maybe he was waiting in the ground and heard her coming and got naked quick so he could get the timing right for grabbing her ankle. though getting out of his clothes without disturbing his loosely packed dirt pile would be hard…no he just sleeps naked. in the ground. ow, dirt in your peehole.
Re: Gabe’s comment, I think Bill was sleeping in his own grave. I enjoy your posts on True Blood being “sucky” but I love the show anyway!
i don’t watch this show and don’t plan to but i love reading these nonetheless. but um, am i missing something or did he just bite her on the neck?!?? I dunno what realm True Blood is existing in but isn’t it usually frowned upon when you turn the girl you’re fucking in a pile dirt into a vampire??? If anyone who actually watches this would care to explain I’d really appreciate it…
I don’t think they’ve mentioned it on the show but in the book, it says that someone has to be fully drained to the point of death and then fed with Vampire blood in order to become a vampire. Ooh also, if someone is bitten and fed on enough then, sometimes that person too, becomes a vampire.
Ok I need someone to tell me: should I watch True Blood? Is it worth spending one hour of my precious time on this show?
Yes. Watch it and decided for yourself. We like it because it is different than anything else on TV right now. We all have an infatuation with Vampires, don’t we?! Look at all of the book serials on the shelves right now!
uum yea… you guys don’t get it do you? its more then just the rap page in the grave yard… to tell you the truth I think that is probably the hottest scene I have seen in television in a long time… the him coming out of the ground suddenly was b/c he felt his presence and realized that it was now safe to come out of hiding… and then the sudden ecstasy and disire of each other showed how much they cared and loved each other and how much sookie truly cares about this man to let him take her just like that… also the biting of the neck showed that yes he might be capable of being there for sookie and making love to her and being her bf but he is also a vampire and he can not always control himself b/c of the fact that he is a VAMPIRE! they like to feed off of people… also I thought the comment from the gay vampire was cute… sooo get over it! that is all… hope you can understand the show better now.
Why was Sam running through the woods naked? He probably buried Bill after having their own little session in the graveyard… Because last I checked its a little hard to fill in your own grave. Take your metaphors but its fun escapism and I hope they keep it up. I can’t wait for what this coming week has to offer.
Sam can turn into a dog. As if that hasn’t been made clear enough with the show’s ridiculous hints.
If you don’t mind a few spoilers and don’t have time to read the books, swing over to Wikipedia. I just got a mini-crash course.
ROGUE BOOBIE!!!!!
The “Worst. XXXXX. Ever.” thing was never funny. Idiots.
My reasoning for Bill sleeping in the graveyard is convoluted but not any more than this show so here it goes. He slept in the graveyard because he had previously sucked Sookie’s molester-uncle dry and he needed an alibi (going off with the funniest, not-scariest vampires ever written) and a place to hide (the graveyard because even Bill doesn’t want to deal with those idiots).
I really hate those vampire friends of his. They are SO FUCKING CORNEY! They crack me up and I can’t stop watching for the badness.
As to why he was naked? He only seems to have one shirt and one pair of pants so maybe he didn’t want to get them dirty (unlike Sookie’s cooch).
Graveyard rape sex is just the best sex! No, wait, regular normal sex is the best sex… did I mention it was normal?
He was in his own grave. Did you not see the episode when he went to church to talk about how he became a vampire? It was the soldier’s name and the year he “died.”
No. You are wrong. Sookie was at his grave, putting down the flowers and cleaning off the headstone, but when he actually came out of the ground and raped her she had walked a good twenty feet away. Graves are not that long. FACT.
But TELL me you didn’t love the whole exchange w/ Bill and Eric, “I sent you 3 texts, why didn’t you respond?” You know his texts were all x-( Also Bill HATES texting! He thinks texting is so beneath him!
looks to be about the dumbest show possible
No, he was about to bite her, then she says, “no, not the neck” so he bites her elsewhere
this makes me wanna have some graveyard rape sex of my own.
It’s NOT RAPE dumbasses!!! jesus! read the book!!