Here is one of the main problems that you run into when you build a movie or TV show around mythical creatures: who cares? Let me put that another way. Lots of people enjoy movies and TV shows about mythical creatures very much, duh, but there is a crisis of empathy. You can’t really relate to a creature that doesn’t exist, not in any meaningful way. Similarly, you can’t really relate to a human being that wants to fuck that creature. Granted, vampires are probably a little easier to emotionally connect with due to their mostly humanoid faces than, say, a show about minotaurs trying to assimilate in public, especially vampires like the ones in True Blood with retractable teeth (you can’t tell someone’s a vampire just by looking at them!).

One could make the argument, of course, that fictional characters in general do not exist, so why is it any harder to get emotionally attached to a non-human fictional character than it is to, say, Chuck Bass? And that point is a fair one, but it doesn’t really take into account the impressive amount of will it takes to suspend the disbelief when the character you are supposed to be getting emotionally attached to is an immortal undead creature that feeds on human blood but whose blood is also a drug and who also wants equal rights and who drinks Arizona Iced Synethetic Blood at the bar.

The weird thing, though, with True Blood‘s emotional core is that the vampires are the least of its problems.

Now maybe it’s because all of the “regular” people have to be equally supernatural (Sookie is psychic, Sam Merlotte is a puppy changeling), and maybe it’s because everyone has THE WORST ACCENT, but it is incredibly difficult, at least for me, to get emotionally invested in these characters. Is Jason going to become a drug addict? Is Sookie going to become a vampire? Is Tara ever going to shut the fuck up? I don’t know! And I don’t mind not knowing!

Last night’s episode seemed like it was supposed to be really powerful and stuff. Sookie’s and Jason’s grandma was murdered, and everyone is blaming Sookie, and she takes a Valium, and Tara confronts her mom about her alcoholism, and Sam doesn’t want to play games, and Vampire Bill is a tender lover, and Jason Stackhouse cries while having reverse cowboy sex to deal with his emotions, and is that Cat Power playing in the background? Yes, that is Cat Power playing in the background. But it was also the most boring episode! I would miss Grandma Stackhouse more if the show hadn’t just started and she wasn’t a two-dimensional character of the benign, aging Southern Belle who’s nothing but sweetness to everyone she meets. I’m glad that Sookie and Vampire Bill finally have sex not because it is the narrative relief of having the two protagonists finally coming together, but because it was getting tiresome to have them dance around it in every episode. And Tara is insufferable.

To give you a sense of what I am talking about as far as True Blood‘s difficulty in connecting with viewers (or at least this viewer) emotionally, please consider the pie scene from last night’s episode.

What is that scene? WHAT IS THAT PIE? Vampires aren’t the only mythical creatures on this show, there’s also the mythical pudding pecan sadness pie with no bottom crust. But let’s get off grandma’s pies, I just got off yours (what?) The point is that this is probably the most “intense” and “poignant” moment in the series so far and it is overly-long, completely devoid of any emotional impact, and ridiculous. And it didn’t even have any leather-vest wearing go-go vampires. I rest my case.

Comments (23)
  1. YES! I saw that pie and was toitally confused! Had no one on that set ever had a piece of pecan pie before? Those pecans aren’t even cooked! It looks like raw pecans on top of peanut butter. If Grandma’s cooking was what you miss most about her then I guess her getting all slashed up was really for the best.

    I think those tears might be for the state of Southern cooking, what with Lousianna grannies cooking up such abominations. Hold those tears Sookie! My Lousianna mimi still makes them with sugar butter and eggs with pecans and karo syrup caremalized on top. “Made with love” as your scrappy and stereotypically gay black friend would say. That pie, on the other hand, was made with AIDS.

  2. Seriously though, that pie! They need to hire a new prop dept stat because that pie threw off the whole ep for me and I enjoyed most of it (OK, mostly just the romantic vampire sex.)

  3. You forgot to include all the Anna Paquin nude pics, silly.

  4. anonymouse  |   Posted on Oct 13th, 2008

    I would cry too if that was what passed for gran’s pecan pie. I have NEVER in my life seen any pie like that. If someone tried to pass off that pudding pie with pecans as an actual pecan pie in Texas, they’d be laughed out of town. It’s just atrocious, but little goof ups like that are what make this show worth watching. Lord knows the accents and acting aren’t getting them high ratings. I very much agree that “it’s totally freaking dumb to the point of being awesome.” The Sookie Bill sex scene – HILARIOUS. I did like that symbolic rush of blood and penetration though. That was a nice touch.

  5. anna paquin has great boobs.

    oh yea – and this was the best episode so far…

    and boobs.

  6. Genevieve  |   Posted on Oct 13th, 2008

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

  7. i cry when i eat pie, so i didn’t find that too weird.

    also – i’m on a diet.

  8. i do love this show, but that confederate flag flower bouquet thing @ grandma’s funeral was messed up. and grandma’s brother was a creeper.

  9. also him biting her was really freaking hot.

  10. Hank  |   Posted on Oct 14th, 2008

    randi: that confederate flag flower arrangement was done to mirror the Sons of Confederate Veterans logo, so I assumed it was supposed to be from the club she was part of. Still effed up, but very realistic.

    That pie, on the other hand. WTF?

  11. Selena  |   Posted on Oct 14th, 2008

    The pie was also a source of extreme confusion at my house- yesterday when we finally got around to watching this episode…

    WHAT THE F KIND OF PIE IS THAT?? What’s the goo, with only Pecans on top? We thought it could be sweet potatoe pie, but then it’s just way too creamy looking- it kind of looked like caramel sauce.

    Maybe it was some sort of Jello Pudding Pie- they did reference- jello in the show…UGGGH- it’s going to drive me crazy!!

    Gabe I think you should start an online petition to find out what kind of pie that is.

    I don’t know why, but I am going to keep recording and watching this show- I can’t help myself.

  12. allien  |   Posted on Oct 14th, 2008

    The pie eating scene in true blood was one of the biggest strikeouts ive ever seen. its eerily familar to the “crying while eating” website (http://www.cryingwhileeating.com/)
    also theres been rigorous debate in my apartment as to what kind of pie it was, and we’re pretty sure its a standard peanut butter/pecan combo.

    • Selena  |   Posted on Oct 15th, 2008

      What is this Peanut Butter/Pecan Pie that you speak of?
      Does it have a crust or is it just peanut butter in a pie dish with pecans arranged on top??

      I’m intrigued!

  13. I’m pretty much sure that the sex in this episode will be revealed to be a valium-induced dream sequence. Just saying.

  14. Have none of you people lost anyone close to you? I totally got it. Besides seeing Rogues tits made sitting through that crap totally worth it!

  15. cassandra  |   Posted on Oct 16th, 2008

    The pie was a “pecan cream pie”…Southerners love pecans so anything tastes better when mixed with them…The pie did have a crust. The cream layer was probably chocolate cream or butterscotch cream (but there are many variations of this pie). It may look gross but they are very good. I am not from the South but I live here now..Every family seems to have their own way and flavorings for this pie. I have even had Pecan Maple Cream PIe—Freakin’ delicious…Gross looking but delicious.

  16. ja2315  |   Posted on Oct 19th, 2008

    imagine eating your grandmother’s cooking and knowing it will be the last time you ever tasted it again. even if it’s similar it will never be the same. that is what the scene was about.

  17. That was the lamest scene ever. Way over acted, way too long, and that pie is so disgusting I can understand why she’s crying.

  18. cassandra, all this “pecan cream pie” bullshit is a joke played on you for being a yankee. No self respecting Southerner would eat a damn cream pie with pecans on top when he or she could have authentic pecan pie.

    Just to check I did a google image search for pecan cream pie and the closest thing I found was a pumpkin pie with pecans on top. Everything else was coconut cream and pecan pie recipes. Someone is clearly fucking with you.

  19. Try searching for New Orleans Pecan Pie. (They are in Louisiana after all) It is usually made with sour cream. My mother makes it quite often, and it does look a little questionable, but it is amazingly good. I couldn’t quite figure out what kind of pie it was, and then my mother made it for thanksgiving, and i remembered this episode, and eureka.

  20. This post was so dumb.

    This show is amazing. Cant wait for Season 3 this June.

    Its called a chocolate cream pecan pie. It wasnt like other pecan pies because not every pecan pie has to be the same! No way?! Wow! Jeez.

    Once again, this show is up there with Dexter and United States of Tara, not crappy shows like pretty much all of the CW.

  21. Boy, do I disagree. I have no problem relating to mythical creatures in a story or movie. This is not because I am a mythical creature, lol, but their strange existence and powers are metaphors for being different, being misunderstood. — the “living on the wrong side of the track” angst, and so many other totally human difficulties. The three literary themes which are so important; character against character, character against self, and character against nature are all in play. We are used to so many of these kind of stories, Beauty and the Beast, Bewitched, I dream of Jeanie, Star trek — on and on, from our earliest myths of heroes, gods and goddesses, legends and fairy tales. All these hold meaning — meaning which use the mythological to tell a deeper story. Variations in romance, humor and pathos do not need monsters and myth, but they are good vehicles to tell stories.

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