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Since many of you might not be interested in playing Grand Theft Auto IV, recognizing that violence against women and the glorification of dangerous criminal activity is not the type of energy you need vibrating your chakra (or whatever, I’m not a scientist) I’d like to offer the gamers out there an alternative. Zoo Race is just as expansive and engrossing as GTA, but instead of stealing cars and driving them through a simulacrum of New York, you race animals from the zoo in a tribute to God.
I’m happy to report that you can still have sex with strippers in Zoo Race, you just can’t shoot them in the face afterwards. Instead, you can race them to heaven (after they die of sadness).
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That was simultaneously the most boring and pointless 8 minutes of my life. That being said, I can’t wait to play. I’m totally not being the horse though because A) the horse is a nonbeliever and B) it has a total handicap in the water.
This game appears to have neither a point nor rules. I do, however, like the part where the horse mounts a missile to blast off to glory.
Also, I just played my own version of “The Pitch” and tried to imagine the brainstorming session for this game. Then my brain exploded.
Not as good as The Bible Game.
“This non-denominational Bible-based entertainment provides a quiz show style party game that will challenge all members of the family. Today?s technology teams with the Old Testament in mini games that represent stories from the Bible. It?s hearty fun you can enjoy individually or together, as a family”