Afterschool trailer, you guys:

Yikes. I remember when I was a kid (back when soda cost a nickel and there were no black people) if we wanted to make a movie about the darker side of adolescence, we just gave one of them AIDS and sent her to a rave. There was the implication of future death, sure, but you didn’t actually see it! Kids these days.

Also, I was terrified and disgusted by this better when it was Michael Haneke’s Benny’s Video.

Comments (37)
  1. Afterschool: Nobody Feels Special

    –tagline I just made up

  2. This is what happens when a director watches Elephant and Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer back to back a week after participating in a Larry Clark movie marathon the week before.

  3. “Afterschool”, aka “Fast Times at Antichrist High”

  4. What killed the girls was the lethal combination of narcotics and rat poison. Because rat poison alone was not enough.

  5. How about I just kill myself for daring to watch movies, Antonio Campos and Michael Haneke? Would that make both of you feel better?

    • WHAT DO you (PLEASE don’t KILL yourself) mean? THAT SHIT looks too self-absorbed. The DIRECTOR IS likely SO FAR up his OWN ass THAT IT’S frightening.

      • Ha ha. I would never kill me. Did you ever see Funny Games? Did you? It’s punishing the audience for watching and taking delight in violent movies while movie itself is incredibly violent. It’s cruel, man. Stop punishing me! I’m still not sorry that I like Reservoir Dogs!

        • WELL SHIT. Is that such A BAD thing though? I mean, YEAH IT’S dumb TO HAVE YOUR cake and MUNCH that shit DOWN too, but DOESN’T film (and THE AUDIENCE) need a little BITCH SLAPPING every now AND THEN? Transformers 2 WAS A shitapolooza OF FUCK and yet IT MADE MORE money than THE GDP of some COUNTRIES. Maybe IT’S NOT bad to HAVE JUST ONE movie that’s ALL “Hey, you BITCHES WANNA see some VIOLENCE? WELL YOU WILL SEE some violence.”

          Don’t GET ME THE fuck wrong. I love MY FUCKIN domination and seeing A BITCH torn in two, but AT SOME point, I realize that NO MATTER HOW goddamned separate I want THE FANTASY ON the screen to BE, my excitement IS ELICITED BECAUSE of real, physical RESPONSES I HAVE to that shit; my BRAIN RECOGNIZES violence as violence and KEYS into that. The FACT THAT it’s not real seems A LITTLE MOOT. Not that THEY SHOULD cut violence (FUCK THAT NOISE), but I’m WELL THE hell aware THAT WE’RE ALL PRETTY twisted for enjoying SOME CRAZY 88′s getting their limbs FUCKING TORN off. Why is IT THAT A shooting in REAL LIFE is horrifying, yet WHEN THE SAME things happens ON TELEVISION or in a movie, IT’S “TENSE,” “SUSPENSEFUL,” and “exciting.” What makes THE CHANGE? The fact that IT’S NOT REALLY happening? Because THEN YOU OPEN a fuckin Pandora’s BOX that starts TO MAKE it sound as if violence, as AN IDEA or as A concept, is not distasteful: it IS ACTUALLY THE BEES-fucking-knees. IT is ONLY WHEN THIS concept CLASHES WITH reality–and then it AFFECTS us–do we FIND IT distasteful.

          I’m NOT ARGUING either way. I’M JUST SAYING I can appreciate THE DESIRE to somehow make A STATEMENT IN film about this (I mean, we’re ON WHAT? SAW 34 now? That shit IS AS prolific AS NOW THAT’S what I [don't] CALL MUSIC) weird human OBSESSION WE HAVE with violence.

          Or whatever. I DON’T know. I’m just SOME FUCKIN guy who’s POSTING WAY too long shit on THE INTERNET.

          • Filibuster. Also, c’mon man. In the process of making that statement he puts himself on a pedestal higher than both his fellow film makers and the audience.

          • I HAVEN’T seen it, and I ALREADY conceded that IT SOUNDED like a douchechillEXPRESS move, but I appreciate WHY IT was made if NOT NECESSARILY how.

          • Agreed, the movie is much better in theory than in practice.

          • Right. THAT’S ALL I’m saying. I dunno HOW IT could be pulled OFF, but I imagine it would HAVE TO POINT out the absurdity of SHIT WITHOUT insulting the AUDIENCE which has to be FUCKING possible. I just DON’T THINK the right guys are interested IN DOING it. Sorry I TESTED you, hlebtastic.

          • AGREED on most counts, but I don’t think anyone could have done it better. Maybe Gaspar Noe (ignore the avatar)

          • Tension and suspense happens when we view violence in film because we understand it is not really happening, the vaguely satisfying feeling is the relief of your own security.

          • I don’t THINK I AGREE. On some level THAT SHIT your feeling IS BECAUSE you don’t want TO SEE the characters HARMED: whether YOU THINK it’s real or not. STILL DOESN’T explain why WE FIND it EXCITING WHICH IS perhaps the saddest FUCKING part.

            Ugh, I’M BASICALLY sounded LIKE A LITTLE asswhipe. I love seeing SHIT EXPLODE.

          • Irreversible may be the counter to your argument, but I have trouble recommending that film because, you know, yikes. Still: suspense about not seeing them hurt (or further hurt) is absent.

          • IN WHAT WAY do you mean IT COUNTER argues it? Does it PORTRAY violence in a super-realist MANNER AS to make it UNCOMFORTABLE to the VIEWER or what? I haven’t SEEN THE DAMN thing, SO I’m just WONDERIN.

          • Yeah it does.. it’s written/directed by Gaspar Noe (like I brought up earlier) and definitely tests the audiences boundaries in both some commendable and just plain obnoxious ways. It’s a movie I really enjoyed? but would never watch again.. maybe in 5 years

          • OKAY, COOL. Thanks, I’ll GIVE THAT shit a look. I’M ALWAYS looking FOR new shit TO WATCH.

  6. J  |   Posted on Sep 28th, 2009 +22

    Speaking of white people, sometimes I’m not sure if Gabe realizes that Videogum is just about the whitest thing ever.

  7. Oh those crazy school pranks. I remember when we turned our last class’ clocks 10 minutes forward; it made our teacher have a nervous breakdown and jump out the window. Hilarious!

  8. Someone should put these kids on a boat and crash it into an island. Now that would be a story.

  9. I’m currently making a thumbs-down.

  10. “Hi mom, I think I’m not a good person.”

    Hehe, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that before I’d use the money to buy a handgun.

  11. amy  |   Posted on Sep 28th, 2009 +7

    so do you think a jock and a pretty nerd girl are gonna get together in the end? ah those crazy kids, they kill me everytime! (with narcotics and rat poison)

  12. Can we like things sometimes?

  13. i actually tend to like movies about over privileged white kids and the disturbing array of fucked up things they do/become because they are so bored and useless and morally underdeveloped because they’ve had everything handed to them and/or been emotionally neglected. Probably because I’ve know a few.

  14. Al  |   Posted on Oct 5th, 2009 0

    I’m soooooooooo late to this comment party, but I think this movie would be better if the lead character was played by the Sexman.

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