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The Emmy Awards! Television’s biggest night! People dressed in expensive clothes, patting each other on the back for the hard work they do to entertain and/or insult our eyes. Seriously, I know this is television’s Golden Age or whatever, we all love 30 Rock and Mad Men and Lost and Friday Night Lights, but television is also very awful! The Emmys should address this somehow. Like, negative awards. Most Despicable Manipulation of Teenagers in Reality TV, for example. Boldest Attempt at Cashing in on Something That Was Popular and Relevant 20 Years Ago. You know, meaningful TV accomplishments. But that won’t happen! So, let’s talk about what DOES happen. Follow the Videogum Twitter for up-to-the-minute yuck-em-ups about Marg Helgenberger’s Lifetime Achievement Award, and join your fellow monsters right here in the comments!
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NPH gonna get a plug in for everything he’s involved with.
“‘Doogie Howser’ seasons 1-4 on sale this week at Best Buy!”
This is unrelated to the topic at hand, but who here loves the intro music for Parks and Recreation? I would watch the show just for the opening credits.
I’m with ya!
this is a nice grey garden-y speech.
Hurrah both John Hodgman and Justin Long are here
I think we might see someone actually collapse onstage here.
Imagine if all the TV Movie and Mini-series awards were skipped…this whole thing would be done in time for Mad Men at 10! But no. Now I have to choose between seeing Mad Men win an Emmy or seeing Mad Men
They’ll replay it at 11!
Thank you, I forgot about that! That’s what I’ll do!
There were only two miniseries all year?
Anna Torv’s boobs look like giant Sour Skittles. And I like that.
(Forgot this was going on… you could even say I was tardy for the party!)
The Emmy Set Designer must be orgasming at this award show.
I love when awards shows give awards to awards shows.
Bruce Springteen WINS!
Bosscocked!
Bruce Springteen WINS!
yikes!
jim parsons! my nerdy heart can’t handle it.
I’ve never seen the Big Bang Theory but this isn’t making me want to
I’m pulling for Leno across the board. I want to see Gabe’s shit fit.
Oh my God that segment was so AWFUL.
That American Idol director guy seems zany!
In true Letterman style, their bit was the least funny.
I’m glad John Stewart let some one else accept the award.
SNL tried to trick me by making me think they were good by using Brian Williams- not so fast SNL!
Wait what did Jimmy Fallon win an Emmy for?
yay autotune jokes…… why dont we just give kanye an award.
Jimmy Fallon is not funny. Shocker.
“Jimmy Fallon, our generation’s David Letterman”
I’ve been saying that statement was the most horrible thing to happen at the MTV Video Awards this year. For some reason people are more upset about Kanye. He said he would let her finish. Did Fallon apologize? Did he force them to recant? I’m waiting, Jimmy. I’ve got all night.
Anyone else getting weirded out by the CBS drama promos?
I know. The Bullet-Time CSI spots look like they used mannequins.
Wow that I Love Sports thing from JT looks awful.
Sweet, Flight of the Conchords gets to lose again!!
If Carol Brown doesn’t win I’ll cry. The best FoC song.
I cried.
Really? Gross.
I really wanted FotC to win. I loved that song.
peepee pants
I am legitimately angry that Hugh Jackman’s horrible musical thing won.
But apology accepted, nerdy musicians.
WAIT THAT’S DAN HARMON AND ROB SCHRAB. I TAKE IT ALL BACK. THOSE GUYS ARE THE BEST.
Conchords = Robbed. “Carol Brown” is one of their finest numbers.
Auto-Tune jokes, 2008-2009. You will be missed.
Really? The Oscars song over the Conchords?!?! Fuck you, Peepants McGee! I am taking all Conchords losses personally.
ok i was bummed the 81st annual academy awards won – but then hodgmen said it was the first time a number was written for a wolverine…
but really???
11 minutes to Death Montage! 11 minutes to Death Montage!
Yeah. That’s really weirding me out.
oh well, at least there’s RICKY!
Gervais always comes with an 70/30 mix of making you uncomfortable/hilarity.
“Hey Tom – look like this is ridiculous and you don’t agree”
-The camera guy
That chubby Peter Sarsgaaaaaaard-alike who wrote the Oscar song was kind of funny, no? And that Ricky Gervais, he’s got the comedy thing figured out.
Don’t stop, Mr Gervais. I need you to assuage my anger of FOTC losses.
Ricky Gervais should host every year.
Savvy viewers will take not that Jay Leno is NEVER nominated for anything. Just Sayin.
“note” not “not”
huh?
I agree with Jon Hodgman; 900 is too many. I like The Daily Show and all, but Colbert you guys. This happens every year.
I’m bummed that FotC lost again but I disagree about “Carol Brown” being one of their best.
Maybe they couldn’t say “Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor” on CBS.
Yet a song about fucking mothers is just fine?
I’m not saying it isn’t great, but if you’re going to pick on of their songs…
Actually, could they have just made FotC songs all of the nominees? That would’ve been the best option.
I’m quote partial to Sugalumps.
(“We’re Both in Love With a Sexy Lady” also would’ve been great)
Oh my God! For realz?!
Yup, Ricky was a Bowie-out New Waver back in the day. Yes, this is hilarious.
Do a google search for “seona dancing”
Um, this isn’t the death montage. WHERE’S MY DEATH MONTAGE, I WAS PROMISED A DEATH MONTAGE!
CSI:Miami is now self-aware of the sunglasses. This disheartens me.
Mad Men! Mad Men! Mad Men! (It’s like a slow clap. Get it started, y’all!)
I don’t know how I feel about the loud crowd response to True Blood
That show is taking reasonable people whose opinions I respect and turning them into drooling morons.
Better be Michael Emerson.
Aww, poor Rodge.
So glad Michael Emerson won. He’s soooo creepy!
Team Ben!!
I was totally ready to kill some rabbits if Ben didn’t win.
Wow. Ben is creepy in real life, too.
Is Michael Emerson on drugs?
Even in Michael Emerson mode, he is Ben-creepy. And i love it.
So, that little montage is the most I’ve seen of True Blood. YIKES.
Michael Emerson can’t not sound like Ben and his creepyness
Sandra Oh was too excited for her not-win to not be faking.
4815162342 thumbs up for Michael Emerson.
They just gave an Emmy to every weird guy who stares at children on the playground.
Death Montage!!
AH! Who let Sarah McLachlan out?!
And here’s the death montage everyone’s been waiting for!
It’s the 90′s! and even in my snarkiness this song still makes the tears swell.
ROFL Sarah Maclachlan
Like, i’m sorry these people died and all. But why didn’t they just get the guy from Green Day to sing “Time of your life”?
Add that song to this one and you’ve got about 15% of the songs used in my senior class video. A video I edited.
The next montage will be set to “Graduation” by Vitamin C.
So Ben from Lost is married to Arlene from True Blood… everyone lost in this category. ESPECIALLY JOHN SLATTERY!!!
Sarah McLachlan starts singing and I was expecting an ASPCA montage…
They are harnessing her tear-inducing powers for dead people instead of neglected animals… but just for tonight.
There is a special level of hell for the assholes at awards shows who clap only for the really famous dead people.
This is going to be the longest death montage ever.
Apparently the Emmy’s are about Michael Jackson too.
And Fred Travelena gets NEGATIVE applause. Poor guy.
My favorite dead celebrity got a better crowd response than your favorite dead celebrity. The TV industry continues to reign supreme in respect for the dead.
It was as if a black hole sucked all the applause out of the room when his memorial popped up. It was strange.
Michael Jackson is in the Emmy’s death montage because…he made videos that appeared on TV and also performed on it sometimes?
That was classy. Summer of death really took a toll, guys. Lots of
Did I miss Billy Mays? or did they snub him?
Please let that be the end of the summer of death. Only non-famous people are allowed to die between now and the Oscars.
Can we have keyboard cat play off 2009, the year of death? Can we just say that keyboard cat sent Sarah McLachlan in his place, & end this?
Wait I don’t have a tv. What are the emmys? Sarah Mclachlan died?
CBS Tuesdays are TWO STUPID TWO WATCH.
Vampire BIll!
Law and Order Special Victims Unit is the 30Rock of guest stars in a drama series.
Any sadness I felt from that montage was cured by Michael J Fox.
Always nice to see Marty out and about.
As much as i love mad men I was hoping for a Lost win
he will later remind this girl that she was not to speak. she broke the rules.
Did Weiner just poke fun at the kidney donor lady?!
Best moment of the night
I guess that means that I’m a writer on Mad Men. Hurray for me. Except when I have my laptop at Starbucks I’m usually reading Videogum.
who is simon baker? no offense to him…he’s cute, i’m just not sure who he is.
When in doubt, they’ve probably got a show on CBS.
He’s The Mentalist.
Flesh. Colored. Eyebrows.
Negates any claims to sexiness he may have once laid.
But… Peggy!
I’d be too scared to not to give Glenn Close the Emmy.
Lest we forget she kills puppies, she’d take out Peggy and turn her into a coat, no regrets.
“Category Sisters” – you know, except Mommy and Daddy love me best. And stop thanking CAA.!
Yay, Glenn Close! (Sorry, Peggy. I was pulling for you, too). For those of you who have not seen Damages, make it a priority. It is FANTASTIC. Ditto for Breaking Bad.
PEGGY WAS ROBBED! Glenn Close in an institution bla bla… but she stole that trophy from Elisabeth Moss. Go to jail. Do not pass go, Glenn.
I think Glenn Close in an institution is the best typo Videogum ever!
Would have like to have seen Elizabeth Moss win, for the scene they clipped from alone. My jaw was on the floor for that whole exchange when it aired.
Glenn Close: Because the Emmys weren’t circle-jerky enough this year.
This show was brought to us by Lenscrafters.
“I like a man who delivers week after week.”
Get it? Like penises!
Ew, Dana Delaney.