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Well, this sounds boring. From the AP:
Comic Ray Romano is going to the golf doctor.
The Golf Channel says the “Everybody Loves Raymond” star will be the focus of its new reality series, “The Haney Project.” The series follows Tiger Woods’ swing coach Hank Haney as he tries to improve the game of a celebrity.
To be fair, I have no idea how the Golf Channel manages to fill its programming schedule, and everyone who works there is an American Hero, I’m sure. But come on! A show about Ray Romano, a golf enthusiast, getting slightly better at golf? That is like watching paint get a little better at drying.
Perhaps, though, because we are industrious and imaginative, we can think of an even more boring show than this show.
- Dennis Quaid gets some help from Martha Stewart’s dog-sitter on picking out some carpeting for his finished basement.
- Ryan Phillipe spends six weeks mastering the game of Sudoku while waiting to get his tires rotated.
- Renee Zellwegger goes shopping for a new toiletries travel case, but ultimately does not find one that she likes.
- Jada Pinkett-Smith teams up with one of Dr. Phil’s production assistants to plan the perfect 33rd birthday party for a cousin who is currently between jobs.
- In 22 hour-long episodes, Bob Balaban silently writes thank you cards to guests who attended his wedding anniversary.
YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, THOSE WOULD ALL BE VERY BORING SHOWS TO WATCH!
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Jay Leno tells jokes and talks to celebrities.
none of the made-up ones are nearly as funny. we laugh to cope with the pains of awful, awful reality.
*Gwnyeth Paltrow explains how she cooks healthy turkeys.
More boring-est.
Poop coming from assholes: Season 2
“Back for another round of dirty defecation.” – People
“… providing an interesting metaphor for the throw-away culture we currently ‘drown’ in.” – New York Post
“Bombs away” – AP
Randy Newman gets a cavity filled.
Perez Hilton, having achieved total mastery of MS Paint, goes off the grid and moves to Nantucket to rediscover his love of scrimshaw. Directed by Werner Herzog.
In a made for tv movie, Elian Gonzalez does his part for the Young Communist League of Cuba by copy-editing their website and by making a nametag for all 600,000 members, each labelled merely “Comrade”.
Tom Wolfe goes clothes shopping.
BECAUSE IT’S GOING TO BE A WHITE SUIT, GET IT!?!?
Actually, I would watch that. I lose.
blake lively combs her hair.
In fairness, I’m kind of a sports nerd and have caught some of the first season of ‘The Haney Project’ where Haney helps Charles Barkley out. The difference: Barkley is infinitely funnier than Ray Romano (both intentionally and unintentionally), and Barkley is absolutely horrendous at golf, so having Tiger Woods’ coach helping him out would be like a show where Jay Leno’s writers went to seminars taught by the comedy writers they put out of work to produce the gems they showcased last night.
Exactly. The Charles Barklay Project was hilarious (though not as hilarious as Shaq vs…duh). But Ray Romano golfing….this sounds both unfunny and boring.
Videogum: The Show.
This zing will be worth the down votes, I just know it.
Stereogum: The Show.
jay leno goes car shopping
In fairness, I’m kind of a sports nerd and have caught some of the first season of ‘The Haney Project’ where Haney helps Charles Barkley out. The difference: Barkley is infinitely funnier than Ray Romano (both intentionally and unintentionally), and Barkley is absolutely horrendous at golf (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s50K65PNeBU), so having Tiger Woods’ coach helping him out would be like a show where Jay Leno’s writers went to seminars taught by the comedy writers they put out of work to produce the gems they showcased last night.
This posted twice. Neat.
I’m going to upvote the second one and downvote the first one, just to be weird.
i’ve been upvoting duplicates too. it just looks better.
I respect that.
Ben Bernanke describes the dream he had last night in great detail. Five nights a week in prime time.
Diablo Cody makes a list of clever phrases for teenagers to say. Every once in a while, she chuckles at her own idea. Then she looks into the camera and reminds viewers that she was a stripper.
Also, I think my dad willed this Ray Romano show into existence. It’s just the kind of thing he would insist on watching and then take a nap to.
the hills
the hills
Ray Romano lives with his wife and kids next door to his parent’s house and has a tall, wacky brother with a goofy voice.
4 Jews sit around New York City in a diner and talk about nothing for 7 years.
6 completely 1 dimensional, shallow people date some other, slightly eccentric people and eventually get married to each other after much bland conversation in and out of a coffee shop.
Ray Romano, Jerry Seinfeld, and Jay Leno hang out with the ghost of Jane Austen and discuss her work in 24 hour long episodes done in Heroes format: 5 minutes of content, 10 minutes of commercials.
A guitar center employee talks Lil Wayne through a restringing over the phone.
Kristin Davis and Russell Crowe knit and collect swatches for a charity throw quilt in real time.
(You should all know that they both actually knit).
the 9/11 mime mimes about the process behind 9/11 miming
A group of blog commenters sit around a table and try to out-boring each other. The grand prize is a set of tickets to the Monster’s Ball.
8, not 10, but 8 years after a horrific terrorist attack, a nation circling the drain comes together in a confounding attempt to rekindle hatred of…..someone….anyone they can blame for their own failing. The Righties thump some bibles, the Lefties willfully pay more taxes, everyone waves flags at each other, until 3 short days later they are distracted by the erratic behaviour of one of the more prominent bejeweled minstrels of the era at a corporate dictated awards show for “popular”, in the lowest-common-denominator sense, music….er, music-videos,….i mean video-musics…….er…
that would be boring……….and sad
A show about a bunch of Monsters trying to come up with boring show ideas.
META
A show about a blog about a show about a bunch of Monsters trying to come up with metafictional show ideas.
Actually, I would watch that. I lose again.
Just call me David Foster *sad trombone.*
It’s funnier if you say it aloud.
John Barf?
Ack, this was supposed to be a reply to Funtastik. Monsters, downvote away.
Paul Reiser takes an CD-ROM course on how to use e-bay.
Paul Reiser was/is incredibly boring, assuming that “Mad About You” is still in syndication somewhere (+1).
Fat people lose weight.
this has suddenly turned into an impromptu best new party game….video pizza party!!!
ummmmmmmmm, Video Pizza Party isn’t boring at all!!!!
Fuck it, I’d watch the Balaban show. It’d be a time for quiet contemplation of my own inarticulateness and lack of courtesy.
And he was great on Hillary Swank’s Celebrity Charade Party! Him and Jill Clayburgh, so good.
I think I might be a retard.
Math geniuses try to divide ah squared by mm squared. Head scratching ensues.
The guy that washes Gerard Butler’s car teaches Evan Handler how to grill.
Fran Drescher provides a commentary on every episode of The Nanny that aired, using a double-up format: Show segment, commercial break, same segment with voiceover, commercial break.
A friend of mine is a PA on Dr. Phil (I pray for him often). I will be pitching the Jada Pinkett-Smith project to him (friend, not Phil) at the next available opportunity. It’s a winner.
I used to sell flooring. Would I watch Martha’s dogsitter picks out carpet? I would not. But I would watch it a lot more than Everybody Loves The Harsh Realities of Golf, so even in this, boringness is relative.
Seth Macfarlane reads Old Testament to viewers, alternating hilarious Family Guy voices per verse.
We’re going for boring, not FUCKING HORRIBLE.
Hair: Know it, Grow it. An actual video I’ve seen at the library, but not a TV show … yet.
Dane Cook’s Tourgasm 2