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Well, here we are. We stand at the precipice of an enormous crossroads. After months of speculation about how Jay Leno would forever change the face of late night television (or of prime time television? I’m not a Television Scheduling Scientist), all will be answered tonight. For the most part I think we know what to expect, though, right? It’s going to be tepid, toothless humor aimed at Brawndo sipping Buy-N-Large customers. But with more race cars.
I would like to say that I am curious, but I am not curious, because Jay Leno has built his career on a lack of curiosity. There is no ambition* or innovation in Jay Leno’s work. What we have always seen is what we have always gotten. There is no suggestion that this will be any different. Tonight will not be New Leno, it will be Classic Leno, and Classic Leno is awful. “No desk” is not innovation just as “talking to Jerry Seinfeld about expensive cars we own” is not funny.
Nevertheless, I will be watching. And we should take what little enjoyment we can find in this world where we can. So might as well have fun with it, right? After the jump, the rules for the Jay Leno Show Drinking Game.
Drink if:
- you are watching The Jay Leno Show
Play along at home!
*That is not to say that Jay is not personally ambitious. No one takes over the Tonight Show and fills an airplane hangar with an offensive number of rare automobiles without having a serious work ethic and a tremendous amount of drive. I’m talking more about creative/artistic ambition here, which Jay Leno seems perfectly content to go without.
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I heard that Pee Wee is guesting next week. I will watch then, but not tonight. Still drinking tonight, tho.
this post should have one of those age-verification schemes for those of us yet too young to drink (or rent grain augers!).
guess i’ll have to make other plans tonight. curl up with a Kidz Bop, a box of Dunkaroos, and a well-worn copy of Shiloh Season.
I am of the age to drink and still want to eat some Dunkaroos.
I always gave up on the dippy cookie stick halfway through and ate that chocolate shit with my fingers. Sigh. Memories of childhood gluttony always make me a little teary-eyed!
Who needs alcohol when you’ve got SURGE?
no one has ever told me my lack of desk was innovative. just inconvenient.
I know. A lack of a desk just means we’re subjected to his periodic erections.
Did anyone else see the awkward interview between Costas and Leno during the Sunday night football game on NBC during halftime. There seemed to be no preparation whatsoever, and no one informed Costas or Leno of the satellite delay causing them to step all over each other and then self-deprecatingly refer to it to save their egos.
The last half of the interview was mostly them just staring at each other to see who was going to talk first.
I have been looking all over the interweb and cannot find the interview of Costas and Leno. Do you know where I could find it? I wonder if the uber-promotion of Leno’s show led to the clip disappearing like Lebron’s poster-ization video.
I dunno. I think Jay Leno could have a legitimate lack of personal/career ambition as well. I mean, the guy hasn’t done much, and it doesn’t take much to make The Tonight Show successful. Even by comparing him to the small sampling of his counterparts (Letterman, Conan, even Ferguson), we see a far, far lower set of accomplishments and career credits. The others act, produce, write, and then some in their extremely limited spare time. They also invest in business and other ventures. In short, their idea of self improvement does not stop with the car(s) you own.
Is it any coincidence that Leno and Seinfeld, the nation’s leading providers of Airplane Food Jokes, have similarly myopic personal ambitions with their riches? I think not.
In other words: Jay Leno is very clearly a lazy guy who won the career lottery (and he didn’t even have to befriend Larry David!) And that’s how he relates to his audience.
In all fairness to Jay Leno (and believe me, the last thing I want to do is be fair to Jay Leno), you can’t call a guy lazy who still plays 200 stand up dates a year. Even if it is 200 shows full of lazy jokes.
I am not looking forward to explaining why Leno is not sitting behind a desk to my grandma.
I came HERE TO MAKE the joke THAT “FUCK it, if I’m watching THIS SHOW I’m just GOING TO be drinking.” Way to STEAL MY jokes Gabe!
Joking! I DON’T CARE, it’s YOUR JOB to be funny. NOT mine.
I agree that he is the creative equivalent of a bowl of vanilla ice cream, but Jay Leno’s ambition/ego/complete disregard for television comedy as a whole is on full display with this new 10pm show.
If I am an A-List actor plugging my movie, I would absolutely go on a 10pm show and not a show 90 minutes later. This is a direct slap in the face to Conan O’Brien, who without going behind anyone’s back to get the ‘Tonight Show’ gig (ahem), has been trying to rebuild the legacy of a franchise that has been successful of late, albeit dormant. Letterman and Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have been infinitely more culturally relevant than Jay Leno over the past few years.
This move is also a slap in the face to actors, writers, and producers that would be working on a show at 10pm if not for the geniuses at NBC who gave Leno this platform to show us that, yes, if you interview 87 people on the street over 6 hours, three of them probably won’t be able to answer questions about current events. KUDOS, NBC.
Jay Leno has no regard for anything but his own love for seeing himself in the headlines (get it?) — something that won’t happen unless an entire network inexplicably bets the farm on an entire fall TV schedule on a bowl of vanilla ice cream. He certainly won’t make any headlines with his material, because as we’ve established — it’s the same bullshit he’s been using since the nanosecond he overtook Letterman in the late night ratings. He doesn’t care about ‘The Tonight Show’ franchise or about an army of creative people that would otherwise get steady paychecks if not for his own narcissism.
Sir, I think you owe vanilla ice cream an apology.
On a marginally related note: Wait, is there really a store called Buy-N-Large? This exists? Is it okay that I’m absolutely tickled by this?
I believe that Buy-N-Large was the name of the giant corporation that ended the world in Wall-E
Aw man, I knew it was too clever to actually exist.
i would drink every time i realize i don’t give a flying fuck about jay leno, but i’d probably be dead if i did that.
I love the two pieces of completely false hyperbole that they use on the promo spots for tonight’s premiere: They call Leno “The most popular person on television” and they call Seinfeld “America’s number-one comedian” … uh, the second one might have been true at some point in the ’90s, but not now. And the first one … well… that doesn’t seem right either.
How about celebratory smoke if you are *not* watching Leno!?
Anyone see him on Sunday Night Football last night? It was two of the most painful moments I have ever seen.
If Tanye shows up tonight, I am boycotting… no one that acts like that, should be “awarded”, by getting a spot on a prime-time show. Please join me, or at least boycott the products shown, tonight. It’s the only way we have any “say-so” any more!
You were so close too, but the punctuation is way too correct.
You’ll get em next time champ
It’s actually on…what…it’s…it’s REAL.
AND IT’S THE SAME FUCKING THING………without a desk?
Conspiracy Theory being batted around: Kanye drinks entire bottle of Hennesy from red carpet to seat at VMAs, makes ass of himself, the talk of the Interweb/watercoolers on Monday, musical guest on Leno’s premiere, Leno stages fake Hugh Grant moment (a moment that wasn’t all that amazing to begin with) and Kanye apologizes. EVERYONE WAS IN ON IT! EVEN TAYLOR SWIFT! TELL THE PEOPLE!
I guess I’m part of the minority that enjoys Jay Leno. He’s not on the air to be edgy and hip. His monologues are just amusing anecdotes on the lighter side of the news, nothing more.
Tone down the expectations and just enjoy it for what it is – mediocre television that’s at times entertaining during a time slot when most people are catching up on their DVR shows.
my fav drinking game is jenga. see http://copingwithcollege.blogspot.com/2009/05/jenga-drinking-game.html