Whoa. David goes to the bacon dentist.

The fact that he keeps calling a grown woman a “little girl” is some pretty heavily-coded (or lightly-coded?) racist shit, but everything else that comes out of this kid’s mouth is basically gold. Bacon is good for him! She acts like she is the queen and they are the sorry people! He is coming to the edge! He keeps losing at deals and he doesn’t want to make a deal anymore! He’s packing his bags! Someone should tell him that bacon is for closers. And that storming out angrily is much more effective without a My First Thomas the Tank Engine suitcase. (Via UniqueDaily.)

Comments (42)
  1. I have to say the title of that video hits it pretty much right on the head: Funny kid who likes bacon. Yep. Well put.

  2. I hope standing up for your bacon is worth getting kidnapped and raped on the streets, kid. (It is.)

  3. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  4. Continuing with the Glengarry theme:

    ABC: Assholes Bacon Children

    (a.k.a. your tags)

  5. Is this the kids audition tape for a munchkin in the inevitable Wizard of Oz remake? Munchkins are well known for their casual racism and love of bacon, after all.

  6. Reality TV is depressing.

  7. AMBER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!! AMBER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. “She can’t run in those blue high heels”

  9. C’mon lady, look at the kid he is obviously in desperate need of some bacon

  10. Oh man, this kid. I don’t know what I love more, his endlessly quotable lines or his hilarious facial expressions.

  11. Does anybody know what previous deals this young angel from heaven named Curtis has lost in the past? [By the way, props to Curtis for changing into a new shirt just to say, "She thinks she's gonna stop me but she can't run in dose little high heels." So much more diabolical in a white polo shirt with aqua stripes. This kid's already a man!]

  12. I don’t think that they are going to want to stop him from leaving.

  13. I think it’s coded on a few levels. This is America’s health care debate right here. Obama wants to make America healthy, but America likes its bacon! No one tells America what to do! That’s does it, America is running away!

  14. Wow, I do not want to meet this kid! Especially not when he’s older and probably even more annoying.

  15. well, i hate to say it, but that’s your kid, America.
    seriously, he’s overweight, entitled, and just a little racist.

  16. How did they get a kid to act so scripted and camera-conscious? Is he CGI? Was he raised by a studio?

  17. Gus  |   Posted on Aug 28th, 2009 0

    who cares about the kid, look at those tatties

  18. chocahol  |   Posted on Aug 28th, 2009 +1

    im with you regarding the “tatties”
    that “little girl” was an absolute beauty queen!

    with giant tatties

  19. This was from Wife Swap. Which only means there’s some fat white woman in the house of a trim, healthy black family, ready to burn that mother down if she doesn’t get some bacon with her couscous.

  20. Where’s our “Wife Swap: A XXX Parody”? Oh, wait…

  21. Fat, bowl cut, gap teeth, proto-glenn beck attitude, vague sexism, southern accent… anyone else surprised he didn’t drop the ‘N bomb’? I was waiting for it.

  22. Geeeeeeeeeeenius. You can mess with that kid, call him fatty on the playground, tell him to finish his homework, but you fuck with his bacon, and he’s gonna come to the edge! He is packing his bags, and leaving! All that’s missing is a Z snap in front of his temporary black mom.

  23. Get him his own show!

  24. This reminds me of the Parable of the Queen and the Sorry People

  25. Pretty funny, but I STILL don’t want to see the Larry the Cable Guy biopic.

  26. Rocky O Bannon  |   Posted on Aug 28th, 2009 +1

    You have to love the wild eyed stare after he says “…sorry people(hahawut?).”

    It penetrates the soul.

  27. TA DA!

    Look at the car!!!

  28. he’s running away to Rhode Island to drown his woes in Double Down Sandwiches.

  29. I wonder how many years it will end up being before people stop bringing this video up and teasing this kid.

    Yes, “forever years” is an acceptable answer.

  30. Assholes | Bacon | Children | Wife Swap

    …that is all.

  31. whysoserious  |   Posted on Aug 28th, 2009 +1

    Dang it looks liek this was takne down, you can see it here:
    http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/04/wife-swap-obese-southerners-swap-moms-with-health-nut-family-video/

    middle clip

    I saw this clip on The Soup the other night and about died. Can we get this kid his own show? And he can just talk about bacon and the sorry people? A how a bump in the road comes and she be sarcastic? LOVE HIM

  32. HE ALREADY IS, IT’S THE SAME SPAM-TROLL, WAKE UP PEOPLE!

  33. “This video has been removed due to terms of use violation” is a really ugly sentence. Who came up with it?

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