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Oh boy. Don’t get me wrong: I HATE child abduction. Anyone who knows me knows that I have always been very anti-child abduction. I’m also against child murder. As far as I’m concerned, and I know this is a controversial opinion, there should be no child murder. There, I said it. You know what else there should be none of? This song. Woof. Or this video. Double woof.
I do love how there is absolutely no poetry to this.
The “Amber Alert” of the song is literally an amber alert. For a missing child. “Does it have a deeper resonance, like a double meaning?” “You mean, like, is it two Amber Alerts for two missing children?” They even used footage from a PSA about amber alerts for the video’s narrative. Good thinking. And that opening sequence? Where everything is really poorly edited and sentences get clipped? That really set the tone of this being about amber alerts.
ALSO: if you go to the Miss Lolitas’ (MISS LOLITAS!) MySpace page, their main publicity photo features the three of them wearing sexy “adult” outfits beyond their years, and also there is a pair of SEX HANDCUFFS. Perfect. As long as everyone involved with this has just really carefully thought it through completely, then who am I to judge.
P.S. Did you remember that in the music video for Soul Asylum’s “Runaway Train” there is an actual rape van? Somehow I forgot that part. Never forget that part. (Thanks for the tip, Emily.)
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With a name like Miss Lolitas, it sounds to me like they’re asking to get abducted. (Though like Gabe I am staunchly anti-child abduction)
I mean, I’d be surprised and shocked at how awful this is, but ‘taste’ stepped out for a smoke years ago and never came back.
Maybe they should put out an Amber Alert for “Taste”.
Sorry, “taste” has sadly been brutally murdered and left in an vacant warehouse.
Like I Gabe I am vehemently anti-child abduction. I am also opposed to the removal of oxygen from the atmosphere, the hitting of my knee on the corner of coffee tables, and the bouncing of flat basketballs. Just so you know now.
I enjoy removing oxygen from the atmosphere and do it about 12 times a minute.
Any society that makes you preface a criticism of a music video with “don’t get me wrong, I HATE child abduction” is a bad one.
What’s going on at 1:19? Are they watching a video sent from the future of the Miss Lolita’s debut single “Amber Alert”? Or are they watching a video sent from the future of the Arrested Development movie and this is a sly way of mocking the rest of us non-contact-with-the-future denizens of the world? If the latter, then damn you, Amber! And damn your alert!
As the father of a 2 year-old I would like to say I found this hilarious. Also.. he danced to the song.
AMBER ALERT: Police have issued an Amber Alert for Miss Lolitas’ talent. It has been missing since she was born.
Why am I laughing so hard at something so so very sad?
They’re also wielding giant lollipops. You forgot about the giant lollipops.
Is Kim Fowley connected with this in any way?
Gabe, is this a special “you can make it up,” video edition?
feels like my ears were kidnapped and raped to death just listening to that
Jeez, when did this blog get so “political”? I don’t come here to read about your liberal, free-wheeling ant-child abduction views.
Not to nitpick, but “ant-child” made me chuckle, and your comment was already plenty funny.
…Do they have their phone number in the header of their Myspace page? Pretty bad example for how kids should avoid getting Amber Alerted…
Man, the last 20 seconds of this video got me so pumped for LOST.
“Previously, on Amber Alert…”
This was the last thing I expected to see that would get me pumped for Lost. Is this the new alternate reality game you guys?!?
(I don’t actually play those; I just know they exist)
My eyes and ears need an adult!!
Also, I wonder why the girl on the poster at 2:43 answers to “Peanut.” Maybe someone was calling their dog and she got confused…
I see we can all agree on one thing here, and that is, thank god there are no mixed messages with Miss Lolitas. Clearly, their manager has thought this all out.
man, tough room to be in if you’re a militant pro-child abduction nut like myself. i can’t believe you all are so gullible and swallowed all that blatantly biased propaganda from those anti lobbyists. open your eyes, sheeple!
whatever, i don’t care. i’m not here to make friends. (yes, i am.)
I wish I was more controversial and quicker to make that comment.
Oh no. Millionaires are going to be so embarrassed that their Christian rock past has emerged onto the internet to haunt them.
These guys did it better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euOH2RRTT0w&feature=player_embedded
This video is dedicated to the children who were missing and are now found. NOT, the hundreds of others who were kidnapped, raped and tortured. THIS IS NOT FOR THEM.
Next time on LOST: More than 897,500 children are abducted annually.
Man, I had my van and my rapist glasses all ready to go this morning because it’s Amber Abduction Thursday, but this music video made me stop and take a real good hard look at myself. If only I didn’t had so many problems I could stop watching my daughter from this van and see her.
*snap* *snap* *creepy zoom in on little girl* *snap*
Did you know being a Lolita is a way of life? All you need is self confidence, self respect and killer Forever 21 moccasin boots. Its just a total coincidence that these girls all look 12 and there group shares the name of a famous fictional girl who is the obsession of a pedophile. Total COINCIDENCE…
amber alerts make me think of jurassic park? dino dna?
Brokencyde tag, anyone?
They’re playing the Black Eyed Peas record release party. Worlds of WOOF be colliding.
i felt the word “UGH” resonate so loudly within me, that i’m not even sure whether or not i said it out loud.
Before I watched the video I thought Miss Lolita was some crass, screamo crunkcore band and this song was their clever play-on-words debut. Like, “Amber” is so hot/crazy in bed we need to put an “Alert” out on her asap? Apparently, that’s what I come to expect (probably because of that shameful Helen Keller line in that 3OH!3 song.) anyway, BOY WAS I SURPRISED.
gamecube isn’t that fun.
oh man. Miss Lolitas have another song – called Jailbait, someone’s manager is down with google-trends.
http://www.ourstage.com/play/track/HHRVPPSNWCSE-jailbait-song
works even better with link
sorry to go on about it but these are your lyrics
Look at me I’m Jailbait
Can’t you see I’m worth the wait
…I’m sorry if I make you sweat….
……………………
NSFW?????
EW
Meanwhile, in Antioch, CA…
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I closed the page while the video played, and it continued to play. Until it finished. It’s playing as I type this–from internet space or something. This is the worst and creepiest day of my life. In other news, they shouldn’t have made the chorus catchy–do you WANT people to be humming along to this?