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In 2007, you went on a backpacking trip through Europe for two weeks (you remember. 2007? JEAN LUC?!). You told your girlfriend about it numerous times, and called her to tell her goodbye before you left. But somehow, she didn’t realize you were gone. And so she began sending you emails, and calling your cell phone, which was turned off. Needless to say, things went downhill from there rather quickly. Her emails got more and more frantic and accusatory. Eventually they turned from pleading and sad and confused to angry and vengeful and mean. She fucked some dude? Yikes. Relationships are hard! And then you got back and read all the emails and made a video about it.
Of course, the fact that you somehow managed to not really convey to your girlfriend that you were going away for two weeks? And you didn’t bother to get in touch with her from Europe? And you took all of her emails, which are obviously crazy, but are also deeply personal and indicate that she cared a lot about you even if she maybe didn’t know the best way to go about showing and/or dealing with it, and you made those emails public? And you chose the music for this video? All of which kind of also makes you your boyfriend.
“It’s complicated.”
–Facebook
(Via TheDailyWhat.)
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ah yes, the world’s foremost backwater: europe — without skype, yahoo messenger, email, and other free means of communication to stay in touch with loved ones
JD WTF?! You promised that if I let you put your “member” in my poop chute you would never post these online. WTF FUCKFACE!~!! i never want to talk to you aGAIN!/
-em
I dunno, I’m Team JD on this one. People need to brush up on their listening skills.
That’s true. But, on the other hand…. he put all these personal emails on YouTube. So I’m gonna say they booth [typo, but it stays] fail at relationships.
True, but at least he didn’t put her voicemails on Youtube. (Oh god, now I wish he’d put her voicemails on Youtube!)
The only reason he didn’t post her voicemails is because he couldn’t fake her voice as well as he faked those e-mails.
Woo, that was some great advice advice at the end. “Careful when you date passion people, because passion swings both ways…” This guy. What a guy.
‘Go to Europe to backpack for 2 weeks, come back a people expert’; that’s what i always say.
I always say that.
ha, I like to think that this is what happens after Garden State or Elizabethtown when Pixie Manic Dream Girl goes all psycho on your ass “cause of PASSION!”
Go to The Gathering for a day, come back an expert on being dead.
I’m confused as to how he couldn’t check his e-mail in Europe. There’s places to do it all over. I’m also confused as to why I even care.
We’re gonna need a bigger Ex-Boyfriend of the Year award
If only they were vampires, he could have turned this into a series of books.
what an asswhole.
O.K. 1. This was actually entertaining.
2. This actually happened to me once. Except it was a girl I was dating that took off for Europe (surprise graduation gift) for two weeks. I didn’t freak out though. I hadn’t thought about that for years, but this reminded me. Life, huh?
He says he and his girlfriend are “no longer together” That’s probably after months of being in a hate filled contemptuous on again off again relationship and ending with a set of needy,half crazy monster twin babies.
I like this theory! If several mentions of “I’m going to europe” passed untrammeled from one ear through to the other, then how many mewled and stuttered “we need to break up, for real this time!”s did it take for this guy to get from under her thumb? I’m guessing a long series that ran from 2007 to July 2009, punctuated by a lot of crying, murder fantasies, and emotional abuse. I’m sorry that was your girlfriend for so long, guy. I’m glad you finally asked your dad what to do and changed those locks. Next time, and I can’t believe I’m giving you this advice, What Would Tucker Do?
i’m going to send blank e:mails now.
Maybe if he used Daft Punk for his music, his point would come across better.
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NOM! NOM! NOM!
Congratulations you win at Videogum.
Maybe he didn’t check his emails because he was in Europe, and there’s cooler shit to do with your time than hang out in internet cafes. It was only two weeks. If he had checked his email, then he’d be a fucking loser.
Way to go, JD. Although, half of me thinks this is fake, and half of me thinks he’s going to be missing out on some incredible sex.
Why didn’t my girlfriend ask any of “the boys” where I was? My girlfriend’s an idiot (I think we might have deserved each other).
Take it easy on the guy, Gabe. We’ve all made mistakes while you’ve been away.
Jesus, wubdub! Don’t even get me started on all the mistakes I’ve made while you have been away–where have you been?? If you went to Europe for two months without telling me you wouldn’t be commenting on videogum daily, I’m going to be so pissed! I’ve become attached to so many other avatars since you’ve not been around! Call me ASAP we need to talk fuck fceeeeeeee!
But seriously, I’ve missed seeing David’s little toothless trap in the comments lately. (As viral/exploited as that vid got, the kid’s cuteness factor kept it in my “still adorable” vault). I have a tendency to associate the commenter with avatar and transfer my feelings accordingly, so you’ve always been a favorite. — I explain all this because you should ignore all those drunken 4am comments I directed at you and how I said I e-slept with An American Patriot in spite because you weren’t replying to any of my comments….we’ve all made mistakes!*
*no offense, AnAmPat…our e-night together was i-mazing!
Can someone please tell me how to put an image in a comment? Thanks
You’re not ready if that’s what you call it.
Here YOU GO sport!
Did that second song sample “Cannonball”?
I’m so confused.
I think all the music was from the “Snatch” soundtrack.
I’m not kidding.
yes. (Escept for the last song, during the ‘lessons’ (ha) part.) (Also, sen_tankerbell is a member of the subcommittee on soundtracks for guy ritchie films and whatnot.)
Yes and….
I hope they serve beer in Rome.
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance
oh em, you display them all
1. Careful when you date passionate people, because passion swings both ways. Sometimes they’ll love, but other times they’ll hate you. And when they hate you… boy do they hate you.
2. When you go to Europe for 2 weeks, leave your fucking phone on and think of a cool soundtrack for the Youtube slideshow that owns your dumb ass airhead ex girlfriend you post when you get back and realize she’s a whore.
3. They not ready.
4. Motherfuckers need to know.
5. Get your shit.
Neither of the two lessons I learned were correct. Don’t date passionate people? Yep, better switch to blow-up dolls and mannequins. Also, there’s probably a discussion in there about how some girls use sex as emotional currency because of their fear of being alone.
Hey, if you could get a quote on the part where he says “Don’t date passionate people”, that would be great. Because he never says that. Anyway, the music is from “Snatch”, so I didn’t mind it. But it reads like a fake, and the blog name makes me think he’s a Tucker Max wannabe.
Whoa! Tellin the truth is a dangerous business! You sure said it, Skillet.
Apparently his friend didn’t know where he was either…
Anyone else think the girlfriend is our one and only Passerby? I mean, look at that grammar.
It seems like all the new trolls are this guy’s ex-girlfriend. Maybe her broken heart makes her search for new people to inflict e-pain upon, and all the time she used to spend with him is now spent thinking of new dumbass nonsense to post on ViGum.
Booo. Lowblow.Passerby is a troll, but she isn’t a shrill harpy.
Did…I… just defend… a troll? I’m too nice today. Oy.
dont’ be suhc an asswhole
This reminded of Crank: somewhat entertaining, completely implausible, and had the exact same soundtrack.
Needs more of the Chinese shit though.
Ugh. That really is my girlfriend.
How do you not realize your boyfriend is leaving for a 2 week vacation? There are preparations, packing, last minutes trips to rite aid to get the things you forgot. He probably booked everything a couple of weeks in advance, spent hours on priceline looking for a good deal. He most likely talked about it a lot because he was probably excited. I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU WOULD MISS THIS! I’m really hung up about this.
How do you not realize your boyfriend is leaving for a 2 week vacation? There are preparations, packing, last minutes trips to rite aid to get the things you forgot. He probably booked everything a couple of weeks in advance, spent hours on priceline looking for a good deal. He most likely talked about it a lot because he was probably excited. I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU WOULD MISS THIS! I’m really hung up about this.
i believe in idiotlove.
if these idiots are meant for each other, it will work itself out, awfully.
Dude, if you want people to look at your vacation photos, just ask. This is a ridiculous way of going about it.
http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
Yes! When I opened this I was hoping for it to be narrated just like this. Way to go.
You can just tell she has big tits.
Oh, hey! Sexism! Always funny.
You’re a winner, Syd.
Hey Nap, I’m a female. And we don’t need the likes of you defending us. But thanks anyway toots. Lighten up.
In which case, could you please not speak on our behalf?
FEMALES CAN STILL BE SEXIST. People need to learn that.
I like how once she fucks the “friend” in retaliation , her grammar goes all haywire. Asswhole grammar, if you will.
Let me get this straight. I broke up with my girlfriend, who is a visibly loving young lady, if not insecure as many adolescent females- let’s face it- are known to be, after failing to make it known to her that I would be in a different hemisphere for an extended period, and failing to realize my failure in doing so (Double Epic Double Fail). Then I blame her and display her emails for all to see in an online slideshow with mocking commentary, despite the fact that she obviously cares to some considerable extent for me, enough to write me numerous emails and send me numerous phone messages which to her credit were properly-typed when she hadn’t been apparently intoxicated and emotional and revenge-fucking someone, which I deserve. I do this, it appears, because she told me she doesn’t like the same movies as I do. Do I really also have a blog called Man Stories? I hate my self. If i was my own boyfriend, in this case, I would kill myself and ignore the metaphysical consequences.
Yeah, but the whole hatefucking the friend thing kinda derails the 10:15 to sympathy town.
I’m so mad I just watched almost 8 minutes of that. That dude’s an idiot.
I’ve never heard of somebody getting so “hostel” about a trip to Europe.
In her defense she was quite “Taken” with him… :-\
Aww…jdmanstories.blogspot.com is a little Tucker Max in training, you guys.
This reads a whole lot like a chain email.
Regardless of the undeserved revenge-sex and the belief that “manstories” is an OK name for anything, I really envy a fellow that gets to go 2 weeks without checking email.
1. Lose the music. 2. She’s got crazy eyes, I’s knows its. 3. This is a great story for your friends, not the internet, douche. 4. Life imitates Seinfeld. 5. I can’t believe I bought that girl a drink and she didn’t even put out!
Who goes to Europe for only two weeks?
That guy’s other youtube video is called “Sexy Club Girls of the Internet”, which is exactly what it sounds like (NSFW/Life).
So clearly he’s a keeper.
Unfortunately, there is no record of an email correspondence between this broham and the trashy 15-year-old goth he hooked up with one night on shrooms somewhere in Madrid, so I guess I’ve gotta side with him. Has anyone else cut themselves for once reading Brett Easton Ellis?
Unfortunately, there is no record of an email correspondence between this broham and the trashy 15-year-old goth he hooked up with one night on shrooms somewhere in Madrid, so I guess I’ve gotta side with him. Has anyone else cut themselves for once reading Brett Easton Ellis?
JD! You ass! What will Turk and Dr. Cox think! This could have had a two-episode arc!
I don’t know. If all of a sudden someone I knew disapeared for several days and nobody knew where he went I think I would call the police before I started having sex with people.
Have sex with the police
It’s the law
Even when it’s not the law, IT’S THE LAW. But, you know, cops will be cops.
Women be crazy.
It at least made me feel superior that I read a lot faster than his target audience..?
She mad.
If he would have updated his facebook, twitter, myspace, and blogger accounts to say he was going/in Europe for two weeks this never would have happen. Come on people that is why we have them; so are girlfriends don’t screw the guy she hangs out with from time to time.
Also e-mail? Do people still communicate that way when dealing with personal relationships? I thought e-mail was for spam and the occasional business dealings.
This lady’s “Crazy Internal Monologue” actually feels like an internal monologue. “To deny that is to deny your very soul”? Haha, whatever Shakespeare!
JEAN-LUC was only two years ago? No way.
but BATSHITCRAZY < SOMEWHAT FORGETFUL AT CHECKING CORRESPONDENCE DURING MAJOR TRAVEL EXCURSIONS. though (>) is more appropriate in terms of being hilarious.
Sometimes Gabe reads the internet as a human being, and not as a hateful zombie eyeball that just wants to eat other people’s painz (which is the preferred method of approaching the medium, let’s be clear) – and sometimes I agree with that way of looking at the internet!
I have no idea if this is one of those times.