Well, this is terrifying. So, I guess the new iPhone has a video camera on it? I wouldn’t know, I have an OLD iPhone. Boo hoo. These guys know what I’m talking about. Anyway, now that the new iPhones have a video camera, all of these developers are making these visual-tracking programs, which they are calling “Augmented Reality Apps,” codename: SKYNET. So, there’s one where you can see people’s Twitter updates in geographical relationship to yourself, and there’s one that shows you the nearest subway stop. It all seems very neat, very Minority Report, and VERY useless.

But this new Augmented Reality Skynet Lawnmower Man app has to be the most disconcerting one yet. When you point your video camera iPhone at someone (also, stop doing that, SHOW OFF) it will allow you to instantly access their on-line social media profiles.

This app should just be called The Do Not Want Tracker. Thank you, but no thank you, The Future. Ow, my hip! Is there a doctor in this cave? (Via TheDailyWhat.)

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Comments (37)
  1. Captain Boring of the S.S. Shut Up  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Yeah, but what if the doctor has a youtube video of him drunkenly performing hip surgery, or a twitter update about how he hates 80 year old men who complain about technology and live in caves? Wouldn’t you want to know? You could with the new Do Not Want Tracker!

    This message was brought to you by Apple.

  2. Evan  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    This is some serious next level stalker type shit

  3. Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    That is too fucking creepy. I’m 20 and seeing this makes me feel as old as Gabe (who’s in his 70s right?) I need to go back in time and (after killing Hitler) stop people from inventing this so my mom won’t try to follow me on Twitter.

  4. Pella Marsh  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    BRB, going to find a secluded cave and be a hermit forever now.

  5. donnytilla  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    i hate using my voice to speak to people so this is nice

    • Tom Foolery  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

      Agreed; vocal communication is so 2000-and-late.

  6. Zingers  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Being almost as old as Gabe, I don’t even understand how that works. I’ll stick to my can-on-a-string, thank you very much.

  7. ber  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    I see WALL-E becoming a reality in the not so distant future.

  8. RobinRubbermaid  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    This is why I won’t have kids. There’s no way I’ll be able to relate to a generation that’s going to think this is normal.

  9. Matt  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    “Well, don’t want the folks at the office to know I was listening to Daft Punk at home alone again last night. Slide that Audioscrobbler out, and ahh, in with the business card there. That’s great. Good morning.”

  10. Skillet  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    That was some very soothing non-intimidating don’t freak out this is just the way things are now background music there. Dear Unethicist, my boss keeps pointing his video iPhone at my girlfriend’s face and then posts inappropriate comments about what she’s wearing on her facebook wall in real-time and its starting to freak us both out. Is it ok if I beat him to the point of semi-consciousness with his own phone? Kthanksbye.

    • nicole  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

      i have no problem with this

  11. EtWB  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    “People can now access his contact details.”

    Or they can just ASK HIM for them after the presentation.

    I love technology, but this is just showing off for no reason.

  12. Gregorious II  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Privacy?

    Where we’re going we won’t need privacy.

  13. trevormail  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Because if there’s one thing wrong with this world, it’s that the current channels of self-promotion are too limited and easy to manage.

  14. d33r  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Ummm… Maybe I’m just dumb right now, but I don’t get how this TAT ID is supposed to work. Is it face recognition or does it detect the profile someone has set on their phone? Like a Bluetooth thing?

    The latter would be less creepy, because it means these people have chosen to share these stuff with complete strangers (and possible psychopaths) within a minimal range of distance. *Knock, knock*

  15. rigginslover33  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    “Clubbin’ like it’s 1999!”??? The last thing this guy needs is to surround his face with links to all of his social media networks.

  16. Andy  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    http://idorosen.com/mirrors/robinsloan.com/epic/

    Spooky fake documentary about what would hypothetically happen in the future that is pretty much actually happening, ahead of schedule.

  17. d33r  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    I’d like to add that the other day I followed a link of a Stereogum contributor, wound up on her site, started looking around and found a section where it said something in the likes of “iPhone webcast”. Clicked on it and it was broadcasting some people dancing. I think it was live.

    Made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. Closed my browser and shut my computer down.

    I’m actually surprised there are not more stories in the news about people who get murdered over such stuff. This is not a “private network of friends”. It’s completely public.

  18. oh.  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Hey, there’s Todd! Wonder what he’s up to? Well, he’s sitting right in front of me, right across the table, literally less than four feet from where I am now, so I’ll just get out the old iPhone and find out.

  19. whoatom101  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    -Jessica, what are you doing?
    -Checking out your info while you’re speaking to the company, boss.
    -Jessica, get the fuck out.

  20. leightron  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    This is promising! My online identity is so much more likable than my actual identity! Now my web presence can follow me wherever I go. Also my boss can listen to the blog posts I write about hating work- WHILE I’m AT WORK! This is so much easier, you guys! I love the future.

  21. kiss the pan  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    I think the point of this Skynet app is that you can pull it out and check if the person you’re talking to is a narcissistic asshole who spends all of his time taking pictures of himself throughout the day and constantly updating statuses no one cares about.

  22. Ashley  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Oh geez, I hope Cory Doctorow doesn’t find out about this.

  23. Detroit Dutchgirl  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    “Why come you got no tattoo?”

  24. bengootscar  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    4 FUCKING STARS OUT OF 5?!?!?!?!?
    you’re lucky to be getting a presentation at all what with this economy…people are indignant assholes on their iPhones.

  25. alexandrararara  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    This is really scary! How can your portable telephone just identify any ol’ body you point it at? I was hoping for more Max Headroom and hoverboards and (*points to her avatar*) when The Future came, not these sentient cellphone monsters. When did this term “Augmented Reality?” Just what is going on here?!?!

  26. Calliwell  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Sooo….I was thinking of getting an HTC Dream.

  27. Lucky  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Apple must just enjoy taking a shit on all its costumers by releasing new and better versions of products they just released months ago.

    • K-Mo  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

      Yes.

      Apple sure does hate people who make costumes.

  28. panda bear  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    Picking up girls just got a lot easier.

  29. Max the King of All Wild Things  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    This is some real Metal Gear Solid shit you guys.

  30. atomiquepink  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    How insane is it that here we are with our social networking sites, putting all this personal information out in the open, almost begging for people to stalk us, yet people are all up in arms over security cameras and big brother and being watched everywhere they go.

  31. moonmaster  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    If I don’t have an iPhone will I just have to wear a sandwich board at all times and constantly update my social networking information on it with a dry erase marker?

  32. Ben Y  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009

    I didn’t come here to make privacy

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