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Albert Camus, who I guess was a blogger or something, but before Twitter existed, once wrote:
Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night filled mountain, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
Well guess what? Albert Camus is dead now. So looks like he was wrong. One must imagine that Sisyphus was like “fuuuuuuuck.”
New round of WMOAT nominees after the jump, you guys:
The Lake House
The Road to Wellville
Le Divorce
Beowulf
Caligula
Rachel Getting Married
The Forgotten
Gran Torino
Georgia Rule
Honey
Gone in 60 Seconds
Funny Games
In The Land of the Women
Closer
Woof. IT LOOKS LIKE MY HEAD WILL BE IN A PERMANENT YOGURT CUP! As always, a review of the official rules.
- It cannot be intentionally horrible*.
- It must have at least one A- or B-list movie star in it. (No “outsider art.”)
- It cannot be Glitter. (Or Crossroads.)
- It has to have had a theatrical release.
- It must be available on Netflix.
- No matter how bad the movie, it cannot be based on a popular superhero.
- No musicals.
- No Robin Williams movies (Addendum: In a lead role. Supporting roles will be considered on a case by case basis)
- Addendum: No children’s movies.
- Gabe is the boss.
Remember in the Dark Knight when the Joker said “and here we go”? I guess my point is I wish the Joker would blow me up. (Funny enough, that is also what she said!) (Huh?)
*A quick note on this rule, because it is a very important rule, but it has always caused some confusion. Perhaps instead of “intentionally horrible” the wording should be changed to “obviously horrible” or “unquestionably horrible.” The Crankheads tried to call me out a couple of weeks ago when I argued that no one intentionally makes a bad movie. “Aha!” thought the Crankheads. “We have caught him!” said the Crankheads. “He used the word ‘intentionally’ in the Rules and now he is using the word intentionally again! CRANKHEADS FTW.” Well, no. Sorry, Crankheads. The idea behind this rule is the same as the rules that the nominees must have a movie star in them and have had a theatrical release. Because obviously there are a lot of terrible movies in the world that someone made using their Aiwa Walkman and a bag of Lender’s bagels. They didn’t intend to make a bad movie, either, but they obviously did. And what is the fun in picking on them? The Worst Movie of All Time will be something that people have actually seen in large numbers, that includes the participation of otherwise smart and thoughtful and talented people. It will probably have grand ambitions**. And it will ultimately be a colossal failure. I hope that this helps clear things up, Crankheads.
**Admittedly, no one is arguing that Gone in 60 Seconds had grand ambitions. But any nomination that includes Angelina Jolie with dreadlocks has it coming.
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Wow. Caligula? Woof.
I say The Forgotten is the most ripe for hilarious dissection.
Gone in 60 Seconds is a terrible movie, but of all of the possible Nic Cage choices, you’re gonna go with that?! Okay…
Agreed. That movie’s biggest offense is that it’s stupendously boring.
for realsies. i’ve been lobbying for city of angels for-ev-er. that, by far, is the steaming apex of crap that is nic cage’s career (obviously discounting the one or two actually good films he has done), topped off with a goo-goo dolls number one smash hit that made me want to kill everyone in my path within 10 seconds of the first time i head it.
in short, CITY OF ANGELS FTW.
Rachel Getting Married was a great movie. I hope Gabe likes it a lot.
Agreed. Rachel Getting Married was truly fantastic, and its inclusion on this list is very curious to me.
I guess it might fit the niche of “white people’s sadness” met by “Margot At The Wedding”, but “Rachel” was actually well-written, well-directed (Jonathan Demme!) and, especially, well-acted.
I would like very much to read a WMOAT on Rachel Getting Married. It’s definitely not The Worst, but..well we’ll just see. Because, oh, the joy that thread will produce. The LAFFS!
No no no no NO.
*hoo*
Ok. I can see why someone might like elements (ELEMENTS.) of “Rachel Getting Married”, but in no way was it a quality film. Playing devil’s advocate, for the few positives you might say, “Nice costumes, occasionally.” “The film, overally, LOOKS very pretty. Nice lighting.” “Anne Hathaway, way to stretch your acting limbs slightly, despite some maudlin circumstances and lines!”
That’s about all I can think of that wasn’t bone-crushing bad.
But (SPOILER?) a movie that proudly features a dishwasher loading contest does not a ‘great’ film make.
A horrible soundtrack featuring nerve wrackingly-subpar musicianship that continues AND CONTINUES to continue and never shuts up throughout said film isn’t a positive. Not including the constant “RACHEL/SYDNEY” chanting that permeated and destroyed any goodwill momentum throughout.
I could go on and on, and I’m sure that is what Gabe will do.
It is, friends, a horrific movie masking itself as a good one. And it got nominated for an Oscar. Isn’t that enough? Do we all need to settle?
I personally nominated “Rachel” and I’m sure there are others out there who also did. I refuse to be alone on this one!
So you can keep your precious, whiney “Rachel”. I don’t care how many verbal darts are hurled my way. IT’S ALREADY NOMINATED–BOOM!
i’m with you comrade.
I am sick and tired of people like you badmouthing the venerable dishwasher-loading genre.
Dear LemonLauren, You are the best, Rachel Getting Married is the worst. Your friend, Ace. ps–Rachel should have eloped because her junkie sister is a horrible narcissist who deserverd it when her mom slapped her (awesome) and no one says “hungabungas” (sp.?) anywhere in the universe ever.
No, you’re the only one who nominated it and you’re alone and everyone disagrees with you (except of course for the other losers that don’t, but screw them too). Rachel Getting Married was fantastic. And if you honestly feel that out of LITERALLY ANY MOVIE* you could possibly think of to nominate for this, that Rachel Getting Married is a wise choice, you’ve got a problem.
*see rules of course. btw why can’t it be Glitter?
Here’s a few examples of some things you could have said, that would’ve made MUCH more sense:
Junior
Last Action Hero
Jingle All The Way
True Lies
Batman & Robin
And that’s just movies that feature Arnold Schwarzenegger! See how easy this is? Let me guess, though, you’re gonna say that you actually like some of those movies I mentioned. Something about your total lack of taste told me you might.
No, you’re the only one who nominated it and you’re alone and everyone disagrees with you (except of course for the other losers that don’t, but screw them too). Rachel Getting Married was fantastic. And if you honestly feel that out of LITERALLY ANY MOVIE* you could possibly think of to nominate for this, that Rachel Getting Married is a wise choice, you’ve got a problem.
*see rules of course. btw why can’t it be Glitter?
Here’s a few examples of some things you could have said, that would’ve made MUCH more sense:
Junior
Last Action Hero
Jingle All The Way
True Lies
And that’s just movies that feature Arnold Schwarzenegger! See how easy this is? Let me guess, though, you’re gonna say that you actually like some of those movies I mentioned. Something about your total lack of taste told me you might. EDIT: Just realized I can’t include superhero movies so Batman & Robin is out of the question.
it can’t be a batman movie you silly bastard. so maybe it’s harder then you think
boo me. i missed your edit
i think this is where people comment on which movies to do later. not do th ones that have been picked before gabe gets too. and what is with all the yoda talk………..
The dude from Tv on The Radio sings Neil Young for his wedding vowels? Color me sold.
thank god gran torino’s on there. i’d like to nominate benjamin button for the next round please.
YES. The Button was terrible.
I realize it’s not the time, but the next round should really include “Duets.” Gabe hasn’t done “Duets” yet, right? With Gwyneth acting like a retarded singing 10-year-old, who is also Huey Lewis’ daughter?
Benjamin Button was one of the worst films of this decade so far. A subplot that involves both Cate Blanchett in hilarious old age makeup telling her daughter that her whole life is a lie because her father isn’t her real father (and the daughter is surprisingly okay with it?) AND Hurricane Katrina? That’s all you need to graduate from CLASSY SCHOOL!
Rachel Getting Married was a really good movie. Unfortunately, you will make so much fun of it and I will be sad. Just know that it is a good movie. And you can really enjoy it if you want. Or you can be Gabe.
I love these commentaries, but will probably skip the one on Rachel Getting Married because i liked the movie so much….The Forgotten, however, I will read like 14 times.
Just cause its nominated doesn’t mean it is automatically the worst, or even that Gabe thinks/will think it is the worst, it just means that it angered enough others to nominate it for the title.
Anything can be nominated, on account of democracy.
I liked Rachel Getting Married too. But I look forward to this review, so that I can leave some of my mom’s thoughts on the film in the comments. Example: “Why was everyone wearing a sari? Was someone in the ceremony Indian?” Oh Mom.
Yeah, but, they use a DISHWASHER as a metaphor! That’s when I knew we were all out of metaphors.
Perhaps that dishwasher looks a bit too much like your own cascade-caked soul.
Gran Torino
I just finished reading the Road to Wellville. I remember seeing the movie about ten years ago (and liking it). I am excited for that one!
A few of those movies there are actually decent, but Beowulf should definitely be done. That scene where he tries to slay the dragon in the heart. Jesus.
Honey is dangerous ground, it can open the floodgates to a horrible outpour of dance movies.
Dance Movies: Because being from different worlds doesn’t matter . . . when you have dance!
I agree that Honey is dangerous ground. I mean why do they make these “I just wanna DANCE!!!” movies anyway. Also it strays awfully close to Glitter or Crossroads if you ask me. You didn’t ask me. I guess if Jessica Alba records an album it’s off limits. But really it’s got it coming. They should have known better.
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Rachel Getting Married and Gran Torino? No, Blavid Daine.
I too really enjoyed Rachel Getting Married but know that it will be easy to make fun of as well. Can’t wait for In the Land of Women, that movie reminds of The Last Kiss in it’s awfulness. Oh and AMERICAN DREAMZ is worse than all of those.
The only two movies I’ve seen all of are Gone in 60 Seconds and Georgia Rule, so yay for those, I guess.
I saw Gone in 60 Seconds with my girlfriend at the time, who got drunk on wine before, and was belligerent with another couple who politely asked us if we could scoot one seat down so they could fit in. I made her move, and actually had to mouth “Sorry” to the couple.
She LOVED the movie. The relationship ended soon after.
And now you know the rest of the story.
Cool story, Paul Harvey (RIP)
Knowing (I’ll nominate this as much as I have to). I like a bunch of the nominees this round, but they’ll be fun to read regardless.
That’s Know1ng. The “1″ makes a big difference!
YESYESYES!!! that was fucking HORRIBLE, even by Nic Cage standars
also, funniest film i’ve seen this year
I agree that those are all horrible… with one exception. Rachel Getting Married was totally a great movie.
Fuuny Games? Perfect. Violence class in Movie Breakdown University 101.
I rented The Road to Wellville when it first came out on video when I was in high school. The only thing that I remember is that there is definitely some fisting involved. And not the Obama kind.
I marked you up because of your profile picture, good job on that.
I remember many, many enemas. I think we only rented it because Ferris Bueller was in it. Enemas are so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.
stave it off 123 and now we can count to three
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I am pretty confused about Funny Games being on this list, too, if it’s the Austrian one, since I haven’t seen the remake (out of skittishness, not pretentiousness). That movie scared the almighty shit out of me.
The American version has Tim Roth, Naomi Watts and Michael Pitt in it. Same writer/director of the Austrian version. It is also shit-scary. But there has been a lot of torture porn in the intervening years.
That movie and Irreversible both had me sleeping with the lights on. People are evil.
also, Closer? Who didn’t like these movies. Come to my house, I will make you cookies and tea and we will watch them again and you will learn to love again.
So, eight weeks to the Gran Torino review. Setting my watch….now.
I’m sure Rachel Getting Married will be ripped to shreds by the most cynical blogger in all the blogosphere, but it’s a good movie if you give it a chance Gabe!
I loved Rachel Getting Married and I don’t really remember it getting nominated all that much?? Still, I guess it will be fun to read your take on it, and the comments should be interesting because that movie really seems divisive.
Rachel Getting Married was pretty good. Funny Games had some really dumb film 101 and “just started reading beckett” stuff, but pulled off an alright movie. And Gran Torino just had bad acting and a stupid ending.
How long can this go on for? because i feel like there are only so many bad movies out there, and it seems we are now dipping our feet in the shallow end of mediocre.
I agree. We should think of some new hunts that would torture Gabe:
- Most Racist Movie of All Time;
- Saddest Movie of All Time;
- Movie with the Most Vampires of All Time;
- Birth of a Nation
- Schindler’s List
- He’s Just Not That Into You
I would LOVE to hear Gabe do BIRTH OF A NATION just to know he sat through the whole thing… hearing modern snark applied to a silent film would be enjoyable absurd…
Probably the most hilarious Blockbuster check-out combination I’ve ever seen.
Don’t underestimate the rate of shit that gurgles in the belly of Hollywood, as probably 90% of the movies that come out each year range from ‘not very good’ – ‘utter trash’.
Oh man there is no end of bad movies out there. For every good movie there is at least 3 that are insufferable.
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oops, my bad.
I had to vote you down twice, not for the semi-double post, but for slurring Butch and Sundance. Also, anyone get the feeling Gabe is just doing Rachel Getting Married because everyone here freaks out whenever someone nominates it. I’m pretty sure it’s the odds-on favorite to win WMOAT now.
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I for one am glad to see Rachel Getting Married on the list. That movie had potential, but instead it make me want to bash my own brains out with its epic levels of pretentiousness.
i feel you, dude. while i realize that anne hathaway’s character was intended to be an obnoxious horrible mess, she was just so shrill and unlikable that i couldn’t stand to watch her. also, the whole tone of the movie just felt like “this is a very serious art movie and we are shooting for an oscar.” ugh.
Rachel Getting Married is pretty much Stuff White People Like: The Movie
It’s got TVotR, Robyn Hitchcock, exotic weddings (why was it Indian themed?), drums and guitars, drugs, pretentiousness, New England, family guilt and a contest based on loading a dishwasher.
What’d I miss?
True story: After watching Rachel Getting Married my mother came up to me and said “If you have an Indian themed wedding, I’m not coming”. Now, exceptions will be made if the bride is in fact Indian, but that wedding impressed her so much she spent a good deal of time explaining to both me and my brother that we are not allowed to have a wedding like that.
a shocked silence following the ultimate violence of a slap in the face?
*sigh* You missed the humanity underneath the layer of stereotypes. You missed pretty much everything that was important, except for the awesome dishwasher scene.
obviously we are in the minority, but i absolutely HATED rachel getting married and heres hoping gabe agrees and will articulate all that is wrong with it in the review
oh my GOD i have never commented on here before but Rachel getting married is the WORST movie. it is like being the only sober person at the weeding of someone you HATE. and also the wedding lasts like 500 years and no one at the party can decide what nationality they are celebrating. BAD movie.
gone in 60 seconds is the winner there. the scene where they all sing lowrider is less watchable than cake farts .
Oh, how I loathe watching cake farts!
The supporting cast sucked for Gran Torino, but that’s about all I disliked.
Of course, you’d find flaws in Citizen Kane with your mastery of sarcasm, but whatever. I’m not gonna get Internet Tough Guy on you.
Oh. God. How could anyone like Rachel Getting Married? That ridiculous dishwasher-stacking-competition scene alone made me want to cry and yell and complain.
that scene is exactly why the movie was good. because things like that actually happen. and they’re weird, so it’s not boring like a movie about purchasing a fixed rate mortgage would be.
that scene was based directly off an actual experience the director had at a family gathering.
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Seriously?? REAL WORLD. As we all know, reality TV is JUST LIKE REAL LIFE. Obviously, there is just a difference of opinion here. Some of us would rather watch a compelling story about humans existing on the Earth, trying to live. Sometimes those movies are set in the present, but sometimes in the past or the future. AND SOME OF US would rather watch an impotent portrayal of SMURFS trying to find a long lost TREASURE in the crazy kingdom of WHO CARES. You see what you’ve done to me — I’m talking like the PATRIOT now.
Look here, buddy. I love the movie and the dishwasher scene, but you better watch what you say about Smurfs.
maybe it did happen in real life, but that doesn’t matter, because in the film it didn’t come off as real or natural… instead (as did most of the film) it came off forced and contrived.
I understand some of the complaints about “Rachel,” but I still think, overall, it is a really good film. I think the dishwasher scene, as grating as it is, is justified by its climax. And I think the over-the-top what-white-people-like-ishness of the family (Indian themed wedding included), whether or not it was intended to, made the Rachel character more likable than everybody else by comparison.
I am so pumped for next week’s “The Lake House” review. Bullock and Reeve’s time-travellin’ love will not disappoint! (it will so disappoint)
I see in the rules that Glitter and Crossroads are exempt from being nominated. Does this extend to all films staring musicians? If not I would like to nominate for the next round Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (the 50 cent autobiography). If it is exempt I would like nominate Twilight WHICH I SAW UNLIKE MOST OF THE HATERS (your hate was completely valid, it was terrible). Though this batch looks great (awful) and I look forward to reading them.
Was your username inspired from a line in Vonnegut’s Mother Night? If it is, I like it. I like it either way, actually.
Thanks! It’s a line from Futurama actually (because I’m a nerd).
Spoken by the character Steve Castle (who is only referred to as “That Guy” within the episode) in episode 321, “Future Stock” in response to Planet Express being compared to Switzerland (which is Small and Neutral).
Your move, “Nerd”.
P.S. Wooooooo! Season 6! Thank you, CC!
My one regret is that I have Boneitis!
Beowulf’s nomination made my day. the motion capture animation (also in Polar Express) is pointless and creepy in the face.
Closer is also an excellent choice. i saw it in the theatre with my mom and sister which made natalie portman’s line about her pussy tasting like heaven unbearable.
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just click on “the hunt for worst movie of all time” tag underneath the post and you will see all you need to see
i guess you’re never gonna do obvious targets like “wild wild west” or “the happening” but you should really consider “blindness”. At first I was like it’s a pretty decent movie than thought about it for 5 minutes and instantly hated it. That and do the last “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, that was the biggest “WTF” ever? Maybe “Pearl Harbor”?
Pearl Harbor is too obviously bad to do here. There is a song about how bad it is.
oooooo, PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN. I absolutely hate that trilogy. I’m going to nominate this every week now. Ugh, those movies suck.
Wild Wild West should be left out solely because of Loveless and his Giant, Mechanical Spider. The entire movie should have been about them.
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Looks like a good crop of crap for this round, though I doubt any of these are worse than “1408″ (except maybe “In the Land of Women”.)
Funny you should mention 1408. I don’t think it’s a terrible movie. I would have ended it with him voluntarily staying in the room to relive the horrible hell over and over again just so he can see his dead daughter for 10 seconds at the end of each night. That would have made it a good movie, but as it is it’s not that bad.
It’s funny you brought it up, though, because I had a dream last week that I lost my job and tried to go work at the hipster movie theater in my town (Berkeley, and I should clarify that this is merely ONE of the many hipster movie theaters in Berkeley). The job interview consisted of one question: what did I think of 1408? I struggled to justify my unenthusiastic but still genuine approval of this film, but I was told on the spot I did not get the job. So at least my subconscious seems to agree that this is a bad movie.
In the dream, I remember making the argument that any movie where Sam Jackson says “It’s a fucking evil room!” is probably at least ok.
I can’t wait for Gran Torino’s review. Mostly because it will be nice for Gabe to review a movie starring somebody his own age. It happens so rarely because when Gabe was a lad, movies were a dime and soda pop would set you back a nickle!
I’m still campaigning for The Love Guru to be in the hunt, despite the fact that it might very well be unquestionably horrible. Surely it can get a Gone In 60 Seconds-ish exemption! I mean, it’s Ben Kingsley in a Mike Myers movie for God’s sake!
Instead of complaining about Rachel Getting Married like everyone else, I’m just gonna say that I’m excited to read Gabe’s reaction to the awkward blowjob scene in Georgia Rule.
oh oh and the last “Matrix” movie. It’s like they TRIED to ruin the franchise with THAT one.
Gabe, I commend you for choosing The Forgotten. I feel I played some small role in this decision, and thus I must also congratulate myself on a the successful conclusion to my hard-fought campaign. I fully expect this movie will enter the hallowed (but putrid) hall occupied by the likes of Bicentennial Man and Elizabethtown.
All you have to do is check out Netflix’s top 100. There is enough movies to review there until the end of time.
Top Infinity?
Oh my god, can’t wait for Closer. The fact that some of my friends actually like that movie was cause for me seriously questioning our friendship.
I would love to see you do In Dreams, though I doubt enough people saw it to get much traction. Neil Jordan, Annette Bening, and Robert Downey, Jr., team up to make a ridiculous thriller that in all seriousness tries to posit apples as some object fraught with unknown terror and significance. APPLES.
What, no Poseidon?
Aw, my hatred for In the Land of Women has finally made a difference in this world. Now to turn my constructive powers of hate on climate change!
Having to watch Funny Games again Vs. having my head stuck in a yogurt cup… I’d take the yogurt cup any day.
I am so glad Rachel Getting Married made the list. I though I would like it going in but it was truly awful. The dishwasher loading competition was the breaking point for me. I’ll never get those 45 minutes back again. Also, the dad was clearly gay. Was he supposed to be? Downgrade away.
I won’t downvote you, but I do pity you.
Watching Funny Games was a brutal experience for me and I don’t believe that anyone is meant to enjoy it. I can however fully appreciate the questions it raises about violence and sadism that is innate in most horror films these days (e.g. Hostel, Saw…) I found it was more of a lesson than a movie going experience.
honey is one of the greatest movies ever made
Has anyone seen Fire Birds? aka Top Gun with Helicopters, Nic Cage, Tommy Lee Jones, and awesomeness
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Has anyone seen Fire Birds? aka Top Gun with Helicopters, Nic Cage, Tommy Lee Jones, and awesomeness? Do yourself a favor
Funny Games was just an excuse for pretentious people to watch a slasher flick.
you can’t really call “Funny Games” a slasher flick, dude. Only 3 people die (and one dog), and all of them offscreen. Oh, almost forgot, SPOILER ALERT.
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Beowulf, yes. I would nominate Eragon if there wasn’t the “no kids movie” rule because wow is that ever the worst. Fortunately I watched both of those (and Twilight, and The Wicker Man) with Rifftrax commentary on, so all I ever think of when I see the latter’s title is “E-Ragon — for all your online ragon needs.”
Really? I didn’t consider it a children’s movie but I could be wrong since that’s who the book was geared to. But yea it was bad my sister and I actually walked out half way through the movie. I will still nominate ‘How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.’
Gran Torino is great. Eastwood’s performance is amazing. And the movie is in fact anti-racist.
hey gabe, where are you going with that camus/sisyphus thing???
r u trying to say that you, the sisyphus of videogum, pushing the absurd rocks that are horrible movies up the mountain that is this blog, are not happy doing the WMOAT, that you, in fact, fuuuuuuckin’ hate it?
alan ball needs to park it over here @ videogum 101 and take a lesson from professor metaphors.
I don’t know who down voted you, but that shit was golden. If this were Gawker, you’d be top tier all the way.
those bastards let me keep my star FOR NOW, but revocation is imminent… i can feel it.
The correct answer is; “More like SISSYPHUS.”
dude, i’ve seen half of this round’s nominees and i still say that “meet joe black” is THE WORST.
I nominate The Unborn. It’s a terrible movie, but it seems quite convinced it is an amazing movie.
And which Beowulf? The most recent one? Or the Christopher Lambert one? The Lambert one is worse.
I recommend “Beowulf and Grendel” with Gerard Butler. That one was pretty good.
I actually liked that one quite a bit but it would make for some very good ripping from Gabe.
I actually really liked Gran Torino. Yes, the supporting cast was comprised of the WORST ACTORS OF ALL TIME, but other than that, it was a well made film.
But yes, In The Land Of Women is awful.
Frankly I’m shocked at how many people are upset about Rachel Getting Married being nominated. I’m gonna recommend Frequency because Dennis Quaid = bad movie and Gabe can make some “not where are his daddy issues but WHEN” jokes. I actually saw it several times in theaters and looking back on what I remember… it was all pretty dumb. Oh and Jim Cavezel or however you spell it is annoying too. Can I also nominate The Passion of The Christ? I mean since Funny Games is on the table, The Passion isn’t much of a stretch.
Yes yes YES on Frequency! Future Son and Past Dad fighting crime and saving Mom! Not to mention the part where Jim Caviezel speaks to himself as a child via time travel ham radio, which was, of course, activated by the Northern Lights. It’s all one big bag of WHAAAAAAA?
The Passion of the Christ is an extremely horrible movie, but not so much because it’s bad at being what it’s supposed to be. It’s just that what it’s supposed to be is an extremely horrible thing, and should be shunned. I still regret putting any validating money towards its existence.
Since apparently the WMOAT is taking a detour into “movies some people really loved”, I’d like to nominate Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
Gran Torino was (unintentionally?) one of the funniest movies i’ve seen all year
Can I say I enjoyed the Lake House for what it was? Which was drivel?
Is that okay? I feel like ragging on The Lake House is like ragging on a romance novel. It is what it is.
I would never rag on a romance novel. Unless it contained a mailbox with a built-in Wayback Machine. Then, it’d be fair game.
Watch it, Tanis. A Keanu Reeves with a wayback machine can make it so you were never born.
big fat YES to Beowulf and Honey. I didn’t even see those being discussed but I’m glad to see them here.
Oh hell yeah on The Forgotten, perfect, perfect choice. Honey though, that’s almost too easy — I have no doubt Gabe would kill in his write-up on that one, but Honey is basically Glitter and Crossroads so I don’t think it shoudl be eligible.
I’d love to read gabe’s take on Funny Games because it was such a prentious piece of shite.
Making Gabe watch In the Land of Women just seems mean though.
Gabe, I love you, you know I do, because of how we’ve never met but I frequently log into Videogum and read your pithy bons mot and laugh my poor, anonymous proletarian ass off. However. If you bitch much more about how very irksome it is to get paid to watch movies, surf the net, write diamond-briliant pitch-perfect recaps thereof and be showered with fawning adoration and scrilla, you’re going to piss me off. And I know you don’t want to do that because of the love we share, ibid. Nobody likes people who bitch about relatively enviable jobs, during a recession, Gwyneth. Your boulder is thiiiiiiiiis big (I’m holding my fingers and thumb up TOUCHING because zing!).
Funny Games was pretentious eye torture., I will thoroughly enjoy that one.
I’m glad to see some Gran Turino defending on this post. I have no idea why some people hate it so. Who knew that Clint Eastwood was such a great comedic actor (other than Every Which Way But Loose)? Outside of the great Comedy, I think it works great as a Father-Son (unconventional) tale and as a culture shock tale (Walt isn’t racists (at least in the bad way), just from an older time. It’s like the same people who think that All in the Family’s Archie Bunker was racist’s. Both characters had more to do with being annoyed at the fact that they were being fazed out, rather than actual hate against what/who was fazing them out). The entire point of his relationship with Thau is to pass off his manliness to a younger, pussier generation (you gonna disagree with CLINT EASTWOOD!?) and the point of his relationship with the Hwong family (and Sue, mainly) wasfor him to realize he had more in common with the Foreign Hwong than with his own family.
I’ll be interested to see what game thinks.
what Gabe thinks.
I think Gabe just got a new nickname.
Well, see what I like about Gran Torino is that Walt is actually extremely racist but he’s still sympathetic.
That’s not because I like racism, but racism is so stigmatized here in America that nobody can ever admit that their behavior is racist, because in this country being racist means you are a worthless, irredeemable scumbag. So you get situations where you have a character like Walt, and you say he’s not racist because he’s not a worthless irredeemable scumbag.
And if people are afraid to admit that their behavior is racist and bad, they won’t change it, because changing the behavior would acknowledge that it is racist, and admitting that their behavior is racist is like admitting that they’re worthless filth.
So I like movies that encourage the idea that racism is bad behavior you can change, rather then a sign of inherent evil.
All that said, it is a pretty stupid movie. And the acting’s not too great either. I don’t think I could even call it a good movie, really, but worst of all time? Sometimes I think you people have way too high standards. Sometimes this almost seems like The Hunt For The Most Kind Of Okay But Not Great Movie Of All Time.
I think it depends on your personal definition of racism. If you mean the literal dictionary definition (to think that ones race is superior to another) then I have to disagree with you. Walt doesn’t dislike the Hwong because they are replacing White people (that’s not to say that he isn’t more comfortable around white people). He dislikes them because they are replacing what he believes are traditional, white values (his, specifically). It’s only through his relationship with Sue and Thau that he realizes that the Hwong actually possess his traditional values a lot more than his own (white) family.
So I don’t believe that Walt is racist. I believe that he is simply stuck to his old values and dislikes people who he believes are completely breaking them (for example, he disliked the black gangsters because they were antagonizing Sue (and in a more general sense, treating a woman with disrespect).
I should have put “” around white in my previous post. I don’t think that the values of Walt are inherently White (as the Hwong and Walt’s family have proved).
I was the one that first brought Gran Torino up for The Hunt and I still maintain that I don’t think it’s the worst movie of all time. I guess I had just heard really good things about it, and when I finally watched it, found myself a. bored and b. repulsed by the supporting performances and the writing for said performances. I brought it up to see if other people agreed, and it pretty much snowballed from there. I, too, am very excited to see what Gabe thinks.
Methinks you just don’t understand Duets, which makes me sad for you.
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closer is an amazing film gabe. which means i cant wait till you tear it apart. but seriously. none of the movies on this list is worse than the 3rd shittiest movie of all time(behind elizabethtown and family stone): DOGMA. please gabe, please.
Oh, Yes! I know Kevin Smith is a love his movies or hate his movies kind of director. But even as a guy who likes some of his movies, I fucking hate Dogma! His attempts at interpreting religion aren’t offensive as much as very stupid. The guy had no idea what he was doing. Also, it’s not funny in the least (not even much of his classic rapid-fire, crude dialogue (which is the reason I can enjoy Clerks 1/2, Mallrats, and Jay and Silent Bob) makes much of a presence here.Tear this one apart. Also, Chasing Amy sucks for similar reasons (but for how it treats gays instead).
And still, I’m sorry to nominate Little Nicky. This is anti-comedy in every way.
I’m pretty surprised how many people enjoyed Rachel Getting Married. I thought it was bad. But making a movie about a self centered young woman, recently released from rehab for drug abuse, to attend her sister’s wedding, all the while dealing with killing her younger brother in an automobile accident that led to her parents divorcing, is a pretty hard movie to make. And Anne Hathaway’s voice was pretty grating.
THANK YOU, gabe, for doing Rachel Getting Married. I thought I was the only one who couldn’t understand all the hype. I couldn’t even finish it. In the Land of Women was also terrible…oddly enough, I watched both these movies with “friends” I no longer keep in touch with. Coincidence?
I have to wait HOW many weeks before we get to Funny Games? Yikes. I am so excited for that one. The levels of meta-worst are going to be fantastic. Make sure you see the new version! That way it is extra perfectly worst because of how it was made twice. In fact, I insist you run through this list backwards (or put us all in the time machine until October).
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300 anyone?
The CRANKheads will come out again if he does 300. Could be fun. Certainly plenty to make fun of.
full disclosure: I’d be one of the CRANKheads..
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As much as I’m sad that Beloved isn’t on the list (I AM STILL PUSHING FOR IT) I’m going to give you a pass for putting Honey on the list. I was actually supposed to be in that movie…as one of Alba’s backup dancers. I never showed up to set because I started school. So srsly “stay in school” kids, unless you want to end up in a shit dance movie.
I look forward to the Gran Torino write-up. It was like Crash, except there was no one good looking to distract you from the painfully dated racial “commentary.”
I’m the happiest person alive for the addition of Closer in the list, it’s a movie that fought for a place here everyday since its release. But Rachel Getting Married? Really? I will wait for that!
And Caligula? Are you sure you want to start that arty-shitty road? Because you will find some pieces that will make Elizabethtown look gorgeous.
Okay, since you have not yet decreed a Robin Williams-style ban on Nicolas Cage (though I have no doubt one is coming) I still have hope that City of Angels will make it into the Hunt before that happens. It has been over ten years and I am still mad about that movie.
(ps. I liked Rachel Getting Married.)
So right on City of Angels. I’m still angry too. Mostly because the original by Wim Wenders is so good and Cage had to go an ruin it for everybody.
Le Divorce and Closer are definitely Worst. Do them.
Georgia Rule definitively! I broke up with a girl for liking this movie. Also, forgive me if I mention these movies and they don’t fit the criteria, but what about The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Street Fighter, or House of the Dead? Surely one of these MUST be the worst movie of all time.
should there be a no eddie murphy rule (even though he made the AMAZING coming to america)?
SUB-QUESTION: Is it in fact, unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins? Is it better to burn out than to fade away?
“You may remember him from the ‘What’s Goin’ Down’ episode of ‘That’s My Mama’, give it up for Mr. Randy Watson!”
“Sexual Chocolate!!”
Kahdooz to you, for a.) recognizing the Eddie Murphy conundrum, b.) dropping the HF quote without pulling a non sequitur. Becca almost makes me not miss Lindsay so much.
Whoa, the lake house. I’ve watched it with my ex and she loved it.
We’re no longer togather.
Because she cheated on me with like four guys. And that was HER who dumped me- she was kinda crazy hot, so I didn’t really cared about her fidelity or taste.
funny games all the way, i wish i could have the time back that it took for me to watch that movie. same goes for the forgotten. best (worst) two on the list.
Rachel Getting Married was an interesting movie with a LOT of weaknesses, but definitely not the worst movie of all time. I can’t freaking wait for the Funny Games review though. And Closer too! I’ve been debating people on that one for years. Awesome choice.
I concur with BENJAMIN BUTTON… sweet jesus that movie was terrible, and I was looking forward to seeing it… and god did it ever disappoint… on so many levels…
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Wiki states that it made 263 Million in it’s theatrical run and Rotten Tomatoes has it running at 79%. I think that certainly qualifies as a hit.
yous guys need to do your research before posting on here. that was clint’s son, kyle, that sang during the credits, you know, because he’s a musician and he did the music for the film and everything.
to fistfuloawesome: transformers also made alot opening. so no that does not qualify it as a hit.
to ben. you should do your research or even watch the movie, kyle eastwood WROTE the song. clint sang it.
i don’t remember that at all. neither does IMDB.
Yes, that does mean it was a hit. Transformers was a hit. It was not technically a good movie, but it was still very successful at getting lots of people to see it and making lots of money, i.e., a hit.
For a $150million blockbuster based on an ancient epic, Beowulf was shockingly flat and dull. Not only was it terrible, it didnt even serve its purpose visually.
Though if Honey is what it seems to be, (ie the reason behind the resurgance in one-dimensional stagey dance films), then it deserves its place in front of the firing squad.
Prediction: The Road to Wellville and Closer will both get honorable “this probably shouldn’t be in The Hunt. It is not the worst movie of all time” mentions from Judge Gabe. Each has unquestionably bad parts, but each one also has unquestionably great parts. I’m looking forward to it, because the best reviews are the ones in which Gabe gets horrible cognitive dissonance and almost kills us all.
Twilight anyone? That movie has absolutely no redeeming qualities.
Rachel Getting Married
Closer
The Lake House
(in order of importance of what you need to review)
Twilight was also a big turd. I mean I really, really, really tried to watch it with my girlfriend, not knowing ANYTHING about it (other than teenage girls seem to be hitting puberty simply due to thinking about this movie)… let me tell you… I was really REALLY trying to stick with it… I truly was… then they had vampires playing baseball… running around in 1920′s uniforms… and hitting the ball like barry f*cking bonds after the steroids… yah… surprisingly THAT was the last straw for me…
Since we’re dumb, you should just list a couple movies that are disqualified because of rule 1.
That being said, I am so totally thrilled with “The Forgotten” and “In the Land of Women.” Oh, and I watched “Closer” with my mom in high school. I nominate that as the Most Uncomfortable Movie Experience of All Time.
wassup rockers?
…i mean the title alone is terrible, geez.
This comment was cute. Cut how you did that thing where you copied Gabe’s writing style. But give the man a break! He watches bad movies. He’s allowed to complain and to do so in the same manner he complains about movies. “Dance monkey dance! And I don’t want to hear any complaints!”
Has anybody nominated the unspeakably awful End of Days- the movie (HA!) in which Arnie dukes it out with Satan-who is played by “Gabe”-riel Byrne? I was 16 years old when this movie came out, and I went to see it with my girlfriend. Our relationship was never the same afterwards.
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Gabe, I would not wish Funny Games on anyone, including everyone involved in the making of either version of Funny Games. Certainly not on you.