253 Comments

These are getting easier and easier, at least as long as Twitter is involved. At some point one hopes/imagines that a non-Twitter-based Best New Party Game will come along that is a little more challenging. Ew, what am I even talking about? A Best New Party Game is about having fun. Challenging? Apparently I’m the dude at the party who’s like “I don’t want to play Charades. Don’t you have a copy of Revolution: The Dutch Revolt 1568-1648 that we could play?” And everyone is like “We called you a cab.” You know, parties.

Anyway, this one is easy, like I said. The Twitter hash mark is #1stdraftmovielines. You get it. I’ll go first:

“I am feeling very frustrated with the snake situation on this otherwise normal aircraft.”
“I would also like to have an orgasm like she is having.”
“Why so humorless?”
“Aren’t you guys entertained? AREN’T YOU GUYS ENTERTAINED?”
“I…ENJOY…A LITTLE BIT…OF YOUR….FLOAT.”

Mega points. In your face.

Your turn.

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Comments (253)
  1. An American Patriot  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    TODAY, we celebrate this no LONGER AS AN AMERICAN HOLIDAY. TODAY the world celebrates OUR LABOR DAY!

    From LABOR DAY: the film, by ROLAND Emmerich.

  2. Nate Scott!  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Would someone please help me quit smoking?”

    • Nate Scott!  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      …from the Dana Carvey classic, The Mask.

  3. Oh, Inverted Penis  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Who keeps their eyes open for The Watchmen?

  4. Boris Grushenko  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    I SIP YOUR MILKSHAKE.

    • Boris Grushenko  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      whoops, I guess Gabe already covered this territory. my bad. how’s this:

      “What’s the most you ever wagered on a game of paper, rock, scissors?” -Anton Chigurh

  5. RobinRubbermaid  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    I’m becoming too advanced in age to engage in this behavior.

    • Lyle  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      “If you act in your usual offbeat manner in our presence, you reveal your revolver in this bowling establishment, I’ll take it away from you, place it in your anal canal and dispense every bullet from the clip.”

      • Devin  |   Posted on Jul 14th, 2009

        revolvers don’t have clips. Just sayin.

  6. kittenpants  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Yippidee Doo Dah, Motherfucker.

  7. Oh, Inverted Penis  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “This boat’s not big enough” -Jaws

  8. Teh Cazbar  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Could you please say hello to my small buddy?

  9. Carrie  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Welcome to scenic Sparta.

  10. edzilla  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Did you observe the consequences of accosting an unfamiliar person’s rectum?

    • thedudeisrude  |   Posted on Jul 13th, 2009

      “You’re not wrong, Walter, you’re just really getting on my nerves right now.”

  11. Oh, Inverted Penis  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “See you soon” -The Terminator

    • Carrie  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      “brb”

  12. MusclesMarinara  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    And suddenly as I lie on my deathbed I think of my childhood sled, “Rosebud”.

  13. Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I’ll come back in a little while”
    “Are you speaking to me?”
    “SHOW ME THE DOLLAR BILLS!”

  14. Oh, Inverted Penis  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Guess how much I paid for these Amsterdam Mcnuggets” -Pulp Fiction

  15. disgruntled hipster no. 416  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Rule numero uno–Please don’t talk about Fight Club. Number two–seriously you guys, please don’t talk about Fight Club.

  16. Johnny Mnemonic  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “The only way is to hack your own brain.”

    …wait

  17. RobinRubbermaid  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Do not think about nor try to amend this situation, Jake. The powerfully corrupt community members of Chinatown will thwart you.

    • Oh, Inverted Penis  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      Forget it Jake, it’s this neighborhood

    • dw  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      “My father’s daughter! My own daughter! … My father raped me and she is our child!”

  18. dw  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I am quite upset, and I intend to alter my behavior accordingly!”

  19. Lux  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    ” ‘Honest to God?’ BORING! A teenager would never say that!”
    -Diablo Cody

  20. dude  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Go ahead, make my afternoon more pleasent.”

  21. Lux  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    ” ‘Honest to God?’ BORING! A teenager would never say that!”
    -Diablo Cody

    • Lux  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      gaaahhh I think this is the first time this has ever happened to me. I feel irrational shame.

  22. Nate Scott!  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Roads? We are going to fly this car in the sky because of the future.”

  23. Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I’M THE EMPEROR OF THE PLANET!”
    “I have the desire-THE DESIRE TO MOVE FAST!”
    “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to get me to have sex with you. Aren’t you?”

    • Carrie  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      • Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

        Sorry, I’ll try and do better. Promise.

      • RobinRubbermaid  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

        I think the idea is to make them less catchy, not necessarily more polite. Josh’s are good!

        • hopeleslie  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

          exactly, hence the “1stdrafts”– josh’s work :)

        • Carrie  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

          Ah, well, sorry. I’m not here to make friends. Also no one got my salute your shorts reference so double :( for me.

          • Boris Grushenko  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

            i got your salute your shorts reference. so wipe that frown off your face.

          • Cynic  |   Posted on Jul 15th, 2009

            This thing came apart.

  24. Santa  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    are you addressing me?

  25. bryan  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you’re a very viable option and definitely my first choice.”

  26. disgruntled hipster no. 416  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “There’s no place like Kansas”

  27. dude  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I made him an offer he would never not accept.”

  28. smiles  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I do not think the outcome of this will be desirable.” – Star Wars

    “I feel like a monarch who reigns over the entire planet!” – Titanic

    And this one doesn’t really follow the rules, but still:

    “I’m cuckoo…”
    “…for Cocoa Puffs.” – Kill Bill Vol. 1

  29. trevormail  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Life’s like a box of chocolates, because I can’t see through chocolate and I also can’t see the future.

  30. etc  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Assure me that there will be a lot of cash on display!”

  31. Henning  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo!”

  32. Radi0Waves  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Go Ninja Turtle, Go Ninja Turtle, Go!”

  33. bryan  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “E.T. Twitter home”

    • Weeam  |   Posted on Jul 11th, 2009

      : ( : ( : (

  34. MusclesMarinara  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    #CharltonHeston1stdrafts:

    “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, ‘I don’t like being touched.’ So look here monkeys, hands off!” -Planet of the Apes

    “Does this taste like people to you?” -Soylent Green

    “Look Egyptian king guy, the rest of the Jews and I want outta here!” -Ten Commandments

  35. dw  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Megatron is trying to extract information stored in my head. Egad!”

  36. Maximillian Cohen  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    when I was six I looked into the sun because my mother had told me not to do that when I had tried to do it before.

  37. dw  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I do not have a tumor!”

  38. Elliot  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Frankly my dear, i’m not particularly interested.”

    “Snakes. I can’t believe that it’s snakes.”

    “Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale… if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world… then somebody didn’t know i was SPIDERMAN”

  39. ber  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

  40. PeeperPooper  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Don’t remember it!

  41. thenaritaline  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    I only have one query for you: do you feel fortunate?

  42. chris  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “We’re going to need a bigger boat! …You know, because…. that shark. That shark is a really big shark. Too big for this small boat.”

  43. dafs  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “This is a terrible place to stop! I saw a whole bunch of bats just a moment ago!”

  44. PeeperPooper  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Forget it, Jake. It’s the section of Los Angeles that is too corrupt to change in any way.

    Are you speaking to me? I mean, I’m the only other person here, so I, naturally, assume you are speaking to me.

    I consume your egg cream soda! I consume it all into my stomach!

    You know how to snap, don’t you Steve? You just press your middle finger against your thumb until it hits your palm.

    • TheRealMatt   |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      Forget it, Jake, it’s a section of an urban area with a large number of Chinese residents, usually outside of Greater China. Chinatowns are present throughout the world, including those in East Asia, Southeast Asia, North America, South America, Australasia, and Europe.
      In the past, crowded Chinatowns in urban areas were seen as places of cultural insularity. Nowadays, many old and new Chinatowns are considered significant centers of commercialism and tourism. Some of them also serve, to varying degrees, as centers of multiculturalism.

  45. kathleen11  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “May the midichlorians thrive within you”
    “Luke, I got the paternity results back, you’re not gonna believe this”
    “Play ‘As Time Goes By’, Sam”

    • vicarhelmet  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      Funny story, “Play ‘As Time Goes By’ Sam” is actually the line that’s said in the movie. “Play it again, Sam” isn’t actually in the movie. It’s just the way people remembered it. A lot of quotations that sink into the cultural consciousness are actually misquotes, for some reason.

      (Sorry, I know this isn’t movietriviagum.com.)

      • kathleen11  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

        that’s awesome, i didn’t realize he actually said that. i knew “Play it again, Sam” was wrong, but i thought the line was “Play it, Sam”. thank you for the correction, i’m a fan of movietriviagum. in order to avoid future embarrassment, i will never ask sam to play anything.

  46. Deezey  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Hey, would you happen to have a cigarette rolled with marijauna?
    I do enjoy females with deep orange-red through burnt orange to bright copper colored hair.

    -Wooderson

    • Weeam  |   Posted on Jul 11th, 2009

      That’s what I enjoy about females in high school, chum: my age increases, while their age remains at a set position.

  47. dw  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I understand, but these can go louder than 10.”

  48. disgruntled hipster no. 416  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Yes, I think capital punishment is suitable for these gentlemen, and I hope they’ll get their come-up-ins in the afterlife!”

  49. ber  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    I’m going to supe it up!

  50. Movie Maven  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “No more rhyming now, I ask you.”
    “Anybody want a cashew?”

    • Boris Grushenko  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      you are good.

    • zabie  |   Posted on Jul 18th, 2009

      fuckk, i wish i could give this twelve more thumbs-ups.

  51. goathair  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    I’m going to make him a reasonable offer.

  52. K's  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Luke… I had sexual intercourse with your mother.

    • K's  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      actually….

      luke… ummm… there come’s a time in a mans life when…. ummm… when a man’s loves a woman very much… well…. ummm

  53. dw  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “To the outer reaches of the galaxy, and continuing past that!”

  54. Gobblegirl  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Are you familiar with the action known as ‘whistling’, Steve? The instructions are as follows: purse your lips and exhale air through them.

  55. adrienne  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Are you ready for the truth? I don’t think you are. I would wait.

  56. Red Itchy Rash  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Yeah, about that Code Red on Pvt. Santiago, not sure you REALLY want to know the answer on that one.”

  57. RobinRubbermaid  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    We can always think about our time together in Paris.

  58. Evan  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “You want the truth? I feel that you don’t have the mental capacity to full understand the truth!”

  59. dw  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Do you smell that coagulant, son? It smells great first thing in the morning!

  60. Evan  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “You want the truth? I feel that you don’t have the mental capacity to fully understand the truth!”

  61. James  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Eat up, Spartans, because tonight pretty much everything but the Chinese restaurants are probably going to be closed.

  62. Costner is your god  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Were you to build a baseball diamond, it would be likely that people would attend games.

  63. Dale Cruse  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “This is OUR Arbor Day!” – Bill Pullman

  64. Friendly Giant  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I am so busy that I just can’t fit bleeding anywhere on my schedule.” – Predator.

  65. royce  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    I’m sorry Private Lawrence, but I don’t allow jelly donuts in my barracks.

  66. kiss the pan  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “They call me Mr. Tibbs! But you can call me Virgil.”

  67. hopeleslie  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Heeeeeeeeere’s me with an axe!”

  68. Beardzoid  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Luke, I am the man who slept with your mother in order to create you.”

  69. Julia  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I think we’re related somehow, Luke” — star wars

    “Very good. Excellent work.” — borat

  70. sen_tankerbell  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    You wouldn’t happen to know the address of the place where those unique baubles he has come from, do you?

  71. Red Itchy Rash  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Endless hours at the office sacrificing adequate time to pursue enjoyable hobbies ultimately limit one’s ability to mingle successfully in social situations.

  72. CocoNotYoko  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    The best entertainment Satan ever provided was making the world think I wasn’t him. And just like blowing gently into my fingers, he was not there.

  73. Beardzoid  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “If you build a baseball diamond, people will then come out to see baseball games.”

  74. chickchick  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Toto, I don’t recognize any of these landmarks.”

  75. ArchieBunkerIII  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    I’m gonna to negotiate an offer thats mutually beneficial to both parties

  76. kathleen11  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man: I get older, they don’t.”
    “Hey, don’t knock jerkin off. I love myself.”
    “Of all the animals, snakes are the worst”

  77. BSteck  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Hello Adrian.

  78. gijyun  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “There is one less than five of us here, in Nevada, and we are mammals not unlike foxes, searching for seductive dancers and mood-altering substances much like one might find in soda pops or esspresso.” -The Hangover

  79. Elliot  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I’ll see you in hell, William Munney” “No. You won’t.” -Unforgiven

    “there’s nothing in the rulebooks that says a dog can’t play basketball and have adorable puppies that play soccer. I challenge you to find that rule.” -Air Bud

  80. TheCapu  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Johnathon has arrived!”
    “I feel fondness towards that illumination device”

  81. hopeleslie  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Don’t hit me with your car, I’m trying to walk across the street here!”

  82. gijyun  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Would you be so kind as to return my wallet? It’s the one that’s emboridered with “Well-Mannered Gentleman.”

    • Sharkleberry  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      I’m totally going to get a wallet that has “Well mannered gentleman” embroidered on it now.

  83. Friendly Giant  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Your knife isn’t very big. Look how at how big mine is! I would even say that your knife isn’t a real knife.”

  84. Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF)  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    You want the truth? I’m warning you, its a real doozy!

  85. Calliwell  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Luke I’m your biological parent!”

  86. Boris Grushenko  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Can you feel my penis tonight?” -The Lioin King

  87. kathleen11  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Princess Bride revisions:
    “Improbable”
    “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I’m gonna kill you”
    “Whatever you want”

  88. Sharkleberry  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I love the smell of the thickener used to coagulate gasoline into a gelatin for military uses in the morning. It smells like, success in battle against insurmountable odds.”

  89. fatmanj  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

  90. Dave  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Hey, yikes!”
    Midnight Cowboy

  91. HoldingOut  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Just a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup.

    • Napoleon Complex  |   Posted on Jul 11th, 2009

      THANK YOU for giving me the name of my new shoegaze band.

  92. enno  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    Coffee is for those who make a successful real estate transaction.
    My watch cost more than your watch.

  93. Calliwell  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Please moisturize your skin!”

  94. Vertical   |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “One time…at a retreat for the school marching band….I masturbated with a wind instrument.”

  95. Jen  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    This mortal coil is similar to a collection of confectionary made from cocoa, fat and sugar.

  96. Becca  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    I’m a petroleum man.

  97. ber  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    He’s too homosexual to operate.

  98. kathleen11  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “Baseball is not about crying”
    “My surname is Bond. My full name is James Bond.”
    “To be honest with you, honey, I don’t give a care”
    “You know what goes human liver? Fava beans and a nice chianti”
    “Houston, we’re gonna need a bigger spaceship.”

  99. kathleen11  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “I swear to god, HAL. If you don’t open the pod bay doors, I am turning this ship around.”

  100. Tommy  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

    “You are causing me to feel much emotional turmoil, Lisa!”

    • Doctor, PhD  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

      Or rather, “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!”

      That whole movie was first draft.

      • Lulubelle  |   Posted on Jul 10th, 2009

        Please do not concern yourself about it!

    • Weeam  |   Posted on Jul 11th, 2009

      “I got the results of the test back, it would appear that I have a lump in my breast.”

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