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It continues!

Perhaps the most pernicious thing about fake rap is its ability to turn every fake rapper into the Fake Rap Poster Boy. (How do we kill it?!) There has never been a single fake rap that has been so bad as to eclipse all previous and future fake rap (despite what the Super Bowl Shuffle would have you think). They are all equally bad in their own terrible right. Fake rap, like some kind of tone deaf phoenix, rises from the ashes with each new “song,” reborn in all of its miserable, borderline-racist glory shame. And, of course, each new Fake Rap Poster Boy looks almost uncannily like YOUR BOYFRIEND. Spooky.

Take for example this local radio DJ’s fake rapping about getting a speeding ticket, set to “Jiggy With It.”

People still* think this is OK? They’re like, “I’m going to do this because it is acceptable.” (For lack of a better word, thanks for the tip, Colin.)

*Admittedly, this video is from 2007, but if you think that someone wouldn’t do the same thing, overlaying a terrible fake rap on top of “Best I Ever Had” (“Best I Ever Sped”) (sorry) or some shit, you are wrong.

Comments (16)
  1. That man is fake rapping and looking into a camera while driving .
    Corporal Joe Stockmanski should pull him over again and give him another ticket for reckless, distracted driving.
    And if they can give tickets for general social douchery, he should get one of those too.

    • Tickets for general social douchery, what an excellent revenue raiser. Fine idea. I think I could have issued about ten of those at my work this week alone.

  2. Boy, I’m going to share this with all my co-workers when I get to work this morning! It’s going to be something perfect to talk about with Linda from accounting with the comic strips and plush toys in her cubicle! That “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” is some kinda catchy!

  3. Kiril  |   Posted on Jul 8th, 2009 +1

    Search youtube for “Perfect Strangers Head of the Class rap” if you dare.

  4. I don’t know what’s more sad, the video or that I actually know a guy who would be really into this.

  5. Sharktamer  |   Posted on Jul 8th, 2009 0

    I think our mission is to thumbs down everyone in the comments who quotes the song or “lol”s.

  6. THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T TEACH YOUR KIDS LESSONS

  7. Drake, If only America knew what you did before you started rapping. I wonder if you still hang out with Spinner? You still hang out with Spinner.
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  8. If this includes everything Lonely Island has done, I’ll sign up and send money to someone (except Lazy Sunday which gets a pass if only for Chris Parnell).

  9. Ok, Mr High-and-Mighty Arbiter of Rap Qualifiers, what do you think about the new all-rap movie? It appears to be written by a Legitimate Rap Person, but also appears to have hit almost every rock in its path on its long tumble from the top of Worst Mountain.

    • mcfuzz  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 0

      oh jeez, michael rapaport. get it? because he has rap in his name.

    • huh?  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 0

      that can’t be a real movie, it looks like someone shot this in their backyard and decided to use red water as blood.

  10. i knew immediately (from sad, depressing years of experience) that this was some goofy Hot AC morning DJ doing what they do. they are a sad, pathetic, insecure bunch… and now he’s a MEDIA COACH. because obviously. do the math.

    http://www.onairpublicity.com/blog/

  11. magicboots  |   Posted on Jul 8th, 2009 +3

    michael scott?

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