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Did you watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 last night? I did not. I recorded it on my DVR, but I can’t actually bring myself to watch it, because I can’t actually bring myself to care. Just as they swept into our collective lives on a wave of grocery store checkout magazine covers, so do I hope that they are swept out on a wave of disinterest. When I was going through the DVR menu yesterday, because obviously this is not a show that I regularly tape or watch, I had to FIND IT, they were showing a Jon & Kate marathon and every single description was like “Emeril stops by to whip up some food,” or “the family hangs out with the guys from Orange County Chopper.” What? Oh, what a totally normal life being captured on film! What kind of reality TV blackhole of synergy and despair have these people been sucked into? And why hasn’t it collapsed their skulls yet? Well, obviously, it almost has.
On last night’s episode, I have read, because I cannot be forced to watch, they finally announced their divorce. But late last night before the episode even aired, they both released statements to the press. From People:
Kate Gosselin says:
“Over the course of this weekend, Jon’s activities have left me no choice but to file legal procedures in order to protect myself and our children,” Kate said in a statement Monday night. “While there are reasons why it was appropriate and necessary for me to initiate this proceeding, I do not wish to discuss those reasons at this time, in the hope that all issues will be resolved amicably between Jon and myself. As always, my first priority remains our children.”
Jon Gosselin says:
“This afternoon, Kate filed for divorce. Our kids are still my number one priority. I love them and want to make sure they stay happy, healthy and safe. My job is being the best, most supportive and loving father that I can be to my kids, and not being married to Kate doesn’t change that.”
Yes, that is what it sounds like when two people who are getting divorced announce it to the public because they have a reality show and their divorce requires announcements. Obviously, this is sad news for the children, but those children were already ruined. The number of terrible decisions that have been made in regards to their well-being is a very high number. The Gosselins should have a bad decisions jar and every time they make a bad decision in regards to their children they put a quarter in the jar and at the end of the year they have a pizza party buy a chain of pizza restaurants.
But, so, are we done now? Because it seems to me that America’s fascination with these guys was in the unraveling of their relationship. Well, good work everyone, it’s unraveled. Let us move on to something else now. Surely there is some borderline-whore on VH1 who needs to find a fellow narcissist to pretend to want to be in a psychologically abusive relationship with. Or finding out, as a country, what happened to Alicia Silverstone. You know, stuff that matters!
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One of my favorite moments from America’s Next Top Model, which is a show that I have seen ummm accidentally a few dozen times, was when the Russian immigrant model ends a really petty argument by saying “I just want you to know that some people have war in their countries.” For some reason that’s what I thought of when I read this post.
Jon Minus 9?
Jon + 4 and Kate + 4?
I can’t wait for the spin-off, “Kate ‘N Eight”. I like to think the theme song will be Beyonce’s smash hit ‘Single Ladies’.
It’s on, y’all.
Someone seriously needs to cancel this show. If Jon and Kate Plus Hate had ANY care for their children (which they don’t), they would not continue this show and overexpose their children (who have no voice in this by the way) as ‘entertainment’. They have to deal with a divorce between their arrogant attention-starved parents, please don’t let anyone watch that.
Three Times One Minus One?
Oh, well played. Plus one.
“Ewww, Jon and Kate, Ewww.”
Are you kidding? This is only the beginning. These specific people may fade, but this show will come back in many, more annoying iterations. Just like Flava of Luv begat Rock of Luv which begat Rock of Lust (still pulling for ya’ Norm), this show will beget much more annoying spin offs. If America learned ANYTHING from Jon & Kate plus eight tiny goldmines is that if you are an older couple/lady who wants to risk sext/sept/oct-uplets via IVF, then middle America, the checkout aisle and basic cable have you COVERED!
let’s face it: Jon will probably BE that borderline-whore on VH1, in a program called “Dad of Love”.
i wanna meet that~
Please be reading this, VH1 executives. I need something to liven up my summer 2010 cable-watching.
borderline?
Reality TV is the new Roman Coliseum. We watch these shows like Kings rooting for lions against gladiators. These two never had a chance.
“One plus two plus two plus one”
I know that the Gosselins bug lots of people, but you have to feel some sympathy for them. The original reason why they did this show was to make more money while raising 8 kids. Instead, it destroyed their marriage.
Agreed. While they may individually be very annoying people, I don’t think there’s a huge number of people who could honestly say that they would’ve turned down the reality show cash, faced with the prospect of raising 8 kids (and putting them all through college eventually). Not that there aren’t people who do it all with no TLC money to help — but, if the option’s there, a lot of people are gonna take it, and I don’t think that fact alone necessarily makes them bad people who exploit their kids. That said, it clearly hurt more than it helped, which is all just kinda sad, really.
Seriously. They make freaking $50-75,000 PER episode at this point– how easy would it be for anyone to back away from that completely, let alone someone with a large family to raise? (and yes, even if Kate uses half that amount on designer duds and tans and hot hot hairdon’ts…)
According to the magazines that I may or may not have read, Kate has been identified (I believe by her sister) as a fame-whore whose ultimate goal was to be the focus of media attention. While Kate’s sister might herself be a fame whore and consequently only have said that to attract media attention to herself, it still doesn’t ring untrue. When it comes to the Duggars (from “18 Kids and Counting”), I wholeheartedly believe that they signed the TLC contract in order to provide for their family. I can’t say the same for Jon & Kate.
Pretty sure 8 children also helped destroy the marriage. 2 cats are more than enough work for me, I need my wine time.
I started playing a drinking game where I drank anytime they said “…for my kids.” I didn’t make it to the end of the show. Did the kids get their Crooked Houses?
Yes.
the integral from jon to infinity of (kate^1/8) / (log (6 + 2!) dkate
?jon*4-kate*4
Does somewhat TV fame also equal douchey ear piercings? (i’m looking at you, Jon).
I would looooooooooooooooove to eat at Jon and Kate’s Bad Decision Buffet Style Famly Pizza! Let’s all go have lunch!
um, is it bad that I already watch that VH1 borerline whore? OH GOD. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.
It already has. There are at least 5 shows on various channels about people with multiples, or midget couples, or midgets with multiples.
I’m surprised (and disappointed) that jon’s divorce statement wasn’t, “she’s a huge bitch. I finally got the balls to leave.”
that is pretty much what he said on the show.
what’s with the ATV fixation?
laaaaaaaaaaame.
I work in a grocery store, and I stare at the covers of tabloids all day from behind my checkstand. Jon and Kate are on most of them, but personally I’m much more interested in the story about Michelle Obama’s secret pregnancy, which will once and for all prove that Barack is not gay. Why hasn’t FOX picked up this story?!
I saw that the other day: that was a great cover! Kudos to whoever came up with that.
Kate + 8 Jon +8 every other weekend
I would definitely tune in for “Jon Minus 9″, featuring the trials of a divorced father of eight trying desperately to keep up with the child support payments and leaving calls for Emeril and the guys from Orange County Choppers to come and hang out at his studio apartment.
I guess I’ll have to start watching 18 and Counting again. Although, it’s been a long time since I watched it, so it’s probably turned into 25 and We Use Birth Control Now, or something.
All of the tabloids have touted Kate as being all about the fame but last night she seemed more remorseful than Jon. He just wore gay earrings and talked about his new freedom. The tables have turned. They might find him asleep in one of those Crooked Houses after a frat party some night!
Aren’t they tired? I do not know Jon and Kate, but just seeing them on magazines and online and all that crap is exhausting FOR ME. Aren’t they ever just like, “Man, I am so sick of me? I’m gonna relax for a while.” Please, seriously, go away and nap.
I think we should all say, like, a million prayers for JK and the litter; I know very few people who have EVER survived a divorce!