Early reviews of Transformers 2 have been coming out all week, and it seems almost unanimous that this is probably if not the best movie ever made, then at least the most thoughtful and intelligent. Variety gave it four Tweed Blazers, its highest honor, and the Hollywood Reporter said it “is like Albert Einstein but a movie.” Meanwhile, in Empire‘s review of the movie (via FilmDrunk, Gawker), an exciting new detail about the Decepticons* is unveiled:
A notable moment occurs during the dementedly frenetic final act of Transformers 2. A robot-on-robot fracas is unfolding around Egypt’s Giza Necropolis, with Devastator, an especially massive mechanoid comprised of several construction vehicles, set on clawing its way to the peak of a pyramid. As it lumbers up the dusty colossus, a shot tilts up to its mid-section, revealing two wrecking balls dangling down. Yes, Michael Bay, the man who brought us cyber-micturition in this movie’s predecessor, has one-upped himself: Decepticon testicles.
You just know that Michael Bay had a giggle fit when he thought of that one. He ordered a round of high fives for the bar, and then masturbated himself to climax in his race car bed. But the thing is, that’s not even clever. Not just because of the obvious reason, which is that it’s not. But also because of the reason that this already exists.
It is called Truck Nutz, and it is retarded.
Thank you, illustrative example photo, for providing dates that show just how long this (terrible) joke has been (especially) outdated and lame. Michael Bay, you got scooped by the world’s worst thing! I’m going to make a rear window decal of Calvin peeing on Michael Bay and I am going to put that rear window decal on the back of my Optimus Prime. And then I’m going to drive donuts in SPACE.
*As an adult, it pains me to type the word Decepticons. But I am a professional, and I will do what my job requires.