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Woof, so this is a thing: the 2009 Air Sex Championships. NSFW, doi.
Obviously, this is just a harmless event for some salacious fun. Who cares?! Personally, it looks like a living nightmare, watching a bunch of sweaty nerds pretending to fuck their pillows but without the pillows while a bunch of drunk nerds cheer them on, but whatever! Everyone is entitled to find fun wherever they can! It is hard sometimes! Life can get very boring! But when they announced that the “anthem” of the event was R. Kelly’s “Bump and Grind”? And then all those white people started chanting the lyrics to R. Kelly’s “Bump and Grind”? NUNH-UNH! That was just too much. Come on, Sexy Spec! Throw down your gauntlet! These fools don’t deserve to wear the baggy red panties! (Via Afrojacks.)
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i would shake my moist beard sweat all over that stage. unfortunately, i would probably be disqualified for climaxing. i climax when i smell a cheeseburger.
my goodness, leave the baby out of it!
but yea, Dubya did fuck the world…. so, kahdooz that the winner and his/her thinly veiled metaphors.
Gabe, I’m serious–you’ve got to stop, otherwise I’m going to completely lose what was once a healthy and entertaining interest in sex.
austin, sexas.
Was that janitor really Jared Leto in disguise?
i think this is SFW because sadness is always encouraged around the office.
White people humps Ottomans like thiiiiiiiiiiiis.
As an Austinite, as well as someone who has witnessed air sex firsthand (with fried pickles! Texas/drafthouse forever!) I’m here to say…
It goes from terrifying to awesome, inversely proportional with sober to drunk.
i’ll get back to you with a graph.
People shouldn’t have to see stuff like this. Can we all just kick in and buy them a couple of blow-up sex dolls? I’ll throw in a few bucks…
That girl that says “So i can go home and masturbate” real deadpan-like, should probably marry me. She is the only one making any kind of sense in this mess of a video.
They have an anthem?!?!
as punishment for winning, you have to real-fuck those judges.
Can you sponsor Pretty Ricky to come down to ATX to show us how it’s done? Videogum presents the Baggy Red Panties tour?
You know you want to.
My parents live in Austin, and love Alamo Draft House events, but somehow I don’t think they’ll be going to this. Casablanca night > air humping.
i’m pretty sure that isn’t what rage against the machine had in mind.
That’s what thousands of years of evolution finally has given us. Darwin eat your heart out.
is that lindsay weir at 1:45?