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Check out this poster for Ashton Kutcher’s new romantic comedy, Spread, ladies. What do you think? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? This poster has clearly gone to the Whatever Works School of Movie Poster Design. Put your divisive lead actor on the poster with his arms spread wide and let the ladies choose. What’ll it be?! IS FUCKING AN ANNOYED-LOOKING DEMI MOORE-ERA ASHTON KUTCHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY IN A SWIMMING POOL WHILE HE STILL HAS HIS SUNGLASSES ON SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT OR ISN’T IT? We do not have all day to sit around and wait for you to make up your mind, says this poster.
Wait a second, Anne Heche is in this? Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche on the screen together at long last?! I haven’t felt heat like this since Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Or since HEAT! Get it? Heat/Heat? You get it. Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche are the low-budget romantic comedy equivalent of Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro. Sparks are gonna’ fly! Literally, it is as appealing as watching Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro having sex. I guess I’m just assuming that Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche have sex in this movie. Ugh, and also imagining it. Fuck you, this movie.
In any case, I will leave you to make up your own mind about WHETHER OR NOT THIS POSTER IS YOUR DREAM FANTASY OF DREAMS but I would just like to point out that personally I liked it better when it was the poster for The Secret of My Success. (Via MTV.)
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The look on his face is pure “I need a new agent.”
More like career. And face.
“It’s a business doing pleasure.” If there was anything more deserving of a woof…
Oh definitely – it’s like they ran out of ideas and just ran slogans for other movies through Babelfish.
I hope Spread has a ten minute long, eerily realistic bank heist shootout.
ha, yeah, perfect headline. what a douche
Where’s his Nikon Cool Pics camera?
I’m particularly bothered by the cropping of his hands. boo.
Always with the cropping of Ashton Kutcher’s hands, am I right?
Trademark Kutcher.
dude is so committed to his craft..
You can’t see his hands because he is Twittering so fast! Obviously! Also, he is not great.
I just read the IMDB synopsis for this and had to fight back the vomit. His character’s name is Nikki because that’s what the lead in a “sex comedy centered on a serial womanizer” would be named, obviously.
We need a “Never Again” law. Every year the public gets to vote on ONE person who can never again be on TV or in movies. That way we could get rid of these Ashton Kutcher pieces of shit.
Why do those Garfield glasses look so photoshopped?
michael j fox is so tiny
Wait. People are upset about his hands being cropped, but seem to be fine with him not having a body below his upper chest? Seriously, is this movie about a sexy womanizing head and arms that pushes himself around on a skateboard?
Its gonna be a new and interesting take on that guy on the bus from Kids. Just imagine Ashton Kutcher rolling around wearing sunglasses, shaking a money jar and yelling “I have no legs! I have no legs!”
i think the movie poster is symbolic. Like he’s being metaphorically crucified for our viewing pleasure.
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Are you happy now, Twitter? You monsters.
A remake of ‘the Girlfriend Experience’ already?! Hasn’t that movie been out for like, five minutes.
The answer is no. No, we do not. Go away, Ashton Kutcher.
I’d hit it in a heartbeat. Then again, the only thing with lower standards than me is Mr. Kutcher’s career.
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Oh shut up.
Ashton Kutcher is your boyfriend. And yes he keeps the sunglasses on when you two do your thing.
Wait, Ashton Kutcher is still an actor?
Like in movies and stuff?
I LIKE TYPING IN CAPS LOCK, TOO.
Too? I think your the first one to type in caps lock on this thread.
Dey Bow Bow
That’s a pretty pool. What are we talking about again?
Anyone knows what is the model of suglasses that Ashton wears in the movie???