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Reporter Andrew Hasbun of the Fox affiliate in Phoenix could barely contain his amusement yesterday while breaking the story of a man on a light rail train “playing with feces,” but he did his journalistic duty anyway, finding people on the street to give their bemused reactions to the news until it becomes more fun than disturbing:
Andrew Hasbun for local Peabody! This story is also funny because, yes, this happens every day in cities like New York. Damn Phoenix, with your spotless, “disinfected” public transportation.
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What happens on the Metro, stays on the Metro.
I am sick and tired of all this motherfucking shit on this motherfucking train.
Phoenix: where so little happens, it’s news when there’s crap on a train.
Around $100,000 for a college degree, probably 2-3 internships, most likely unpaid, this is Phoenix, a decent media market, so he probably has worked in suckier places, and this is he’s working on? My sympathies go out to this man. I will say, this story was probably more interesting to work on than the “How to Make Dominos Pizza Bowls” package.
I think the most shocking part is that Phoenix even has public transportation. And did you see all the jostling and general filthiness at “rush hour”.
Was anyone else impressed at how awesome that public transit looked? So one man smeared feces, that train looks like it would smell of fucking Fabreeze (Febreeze? I can’t believe I forgot how to spell this) everywhere else!
i know right? i’m surprised when i DON’T see or smell bodily fluids on public transportation.
that train looked so nice!
“The police found no evidence of feces on the train.” Two words y’all–Ghost Poop.
I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of ghost poop.
Poop on a real train.
Feces tag!
Living in this town is as lame as you might think.
Yeah, but the light rail sure is nice! I’ve ridden it once and the trains were great but, this being Phoenix, NO ONE knew how to use public transportation. There were kids sitting in all the aisles! Where people needed to walk!
Poop!
and the man roams free to shit again
The light rail is so new here we are not used to crazy stuff happening on it. That is reserved for the bus.
Phantom duke!
Another great thing is the lady at the end had to explain what “public space” would entail. C’mon, you gotta give Phoenix more credit, they don’t all live in their isolated cul-de-sacs and cars. I’m sure they shop for food and clothes in a mall and go to church in a arena and raise their children in both. They should advertise for their light rail in mall terms so Phoenix can understand. “It’s like an escalator that’s flat and goes really far. The seats in the train are like your car seats, you can sit on them. You wouldn’t sit on a car floor would you?” Phoenix is the University of Phoenix of cities.
This was the most hilarious commentary I saw on the story: