
It is official. They are remaking Footloose, and Kevin Bacon’s character will be played by Nate Archibald. From Variety:
Chace Crawford has signed on to star in Paramount Pictures’ remake of “Footloose.”
The Kenny Ortega-helmed project had been thrown into doubt when Zac Efron decided against making another tuner so soon after “High School Musical 3″ and instead signed on for “The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud.”
Although Crawford’s involvement has long been rumored, his reps were only just now able to ink a deal to bring the “Gossip Girl” star aboard the pic. One of the sticking points in the negotiations was reaching a compromise on filming around Crawford’s “Gossip Girl” production schedule.
Phew. When Zac Efron backed out, I got pretty nervous (I did not get pretty nervous). Where else would we find a sexually unthreatening man-boy with a playfully malleable orientation? Nate Archibald, always stepping up to the plate. Of course, some people will complain that this is another instance of Hollywood carelessly strip-mining the past, leaving our cherished memories desolate and polluted. But I welcome this reboot, as it will prepare the world for a project I have been working on for years: Footloose 2: The Reckoning.
OK, so the year is 2113…
Both Ren McCormack and the Reverend Shaw Moore have been cryogenically frozen more than a hundred years. When they are thawed, the world around them is unfamiliar, but their feud over dancing hasn’t changed a bit. At the final showdown, Ren McCormack shows up in the town square of New Jack City with a team of choreographed pro-dancing fighters behind him, and faces off against Reverend Moore, who is at the other end of the square with his own band of choreographed anti-dancing crusaders. And just as they are about to have a final dance-no-dance off, Ren jumps into the air and unleashes a devastating hadouken, incinerating Reverend Moore in his sensible shoes, because in the future, mankind has unlocked the unused 90 percent of its brain to control the natural world with our minds.
Also, in my sequel this scene takes place on the wing of a spaceship.
SPACE FINISH HIM!































It aint a remake with out marky mark.
OMG I always thought that scene would’ve been more convincing on the wing of a spaceship.
Gabe, your writing makes me laugh out loud on a daily basis (It makes me laugh, even out loud. Sincerely.)
Harder to write a compliment on a snarky website, no? Please do not cry.
Well now, how are you gonna be choreographed and anti-dancing at the same time? Paradox!
Footloose 2: Six Degrees of Dancing Separation
Footloose 2: Revenge Of The Fallen.
All Nate Archibald ever wanted to do was dance, Gabe!
I don’t know guys, can Nate bring the fiyah? Seeing that pic of him, I picture his angry dance to be more of an annoyed shuffle.
Unfortunately, I think it’s too late to cryogenically freeze Chris Penn…
OK, there is a serious problem with this, in that Reverend Shaw Moore ultimately comes to accept the legitimacy of teenagers expressing themselves through the power of dance at the end of Footloose 1. So you’re going to need a new stand in for fuddy-duddyism and hatred of fun. Dick Cheney? Anyway, s/he should look something like Dick Cheney.
based off your plot synopsis, I would see Footloose 2 in Imax
based off your plot synopsis, I would see Footloose 2 in Imax
based off your plot synopsis, I would see Footloose 2 in Imax
Space finish FTW!!!