burns_simpson

In what sounds like Simpsons fan fiction from the least creative casual Simpsons viewer, a man named Bart Simpson stood on trial yesterday (or, the news BROKE yesterday at least) in front of a judge named Mr. Burns. AH! First The Simpsons took over some 7-11s a few years ago, and now this?! Or dreams are on their way of coming true! Other IRL fan fiction possibilities The Lord in Heaven was entertaining: “A police chief named Wiggum broke up fight at bar named Moe’s.” “Man named Apu owns greyhound named Maggie.” “We found an actual Principal Skinner!” From The Hollywood Reporter:

A man from Eccleshall, England with the same name as the famed carton troublemaker is facing a trial for bringing a firearm to a Birmingham airport last year. The judge in his case? None other than one Mr. Burns.

As detailed in a British news publication, the judge’s full name is Recorder Burns, not Montgomery, the name of the maniacal billionaire in The Simpson. Still, the pairing did make waves.

“It’s a bizarre coincidence that Bart Simpson is actually on trial in front of Mr. Burns but it’ll proceed as any other criminal case would,” a court source said.

Do you think TV God put Bart Simpson and Mr. Burns together so the case could proceed as any other criminal case would?! THAT’S UNPOSSIBLE! LOL #simpsons. But in all seriousness I’d like to respectfully ask honorable judge Mr. Burns to uphold all rules of Cartoon Court in this case, specifically: Gavel that goes “boink,” Krusty presented as an expert witness, Nelson in a suit acting as Bart Simpson’s lawyer, and some play on the “throw a book to prove the person doesn’t need a neck brace” trick, except the person’s head falls off at the end of it and goes “boink.” Thank you. Court dismissed.

Comments (58)
  1. I think the real story here is that some parents named their kid “Recorder.” What a name! Upvote Mr. Burns’ parents!

    • Recorder is a better cartoon name than Montgomery. The Simpsons should give Mr. Burns a brother named Recorder! Who’s a judge!

      • “Beloved son, I’m going to name you after the musical instrument you will be taught to play in kindergarten that is super annoying and which I will wish I could break over my knee except it’s made of plastic.”

        I also really like the old-timey name Ransom, like Ransom Olds of Oldsmobile.
        “Beloved son, I’m going to name you after the thing I’d have to pay kidnappers if they ever took you from me.”

  2. Super Nintendo Chalmers = IRL jackpot

  3. This is almost as good as the time I learned my friend’s doctor is actually named Dr. Pepper.

  4. If I were at the movies and a woman with Marge Simpson hair sat in front of me, I wouldn’t even be mad, I would just be impressed.

  5. Now Kelly, Nelson as Bart’s representation instead of Lionel Hutz. That’s like going to Kentucky and not drinking a bottle of… delicious bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors. What’s that? You want me to drink you? I’m in the middle of a comment.

  6. Oh man, off topic, but I’m taking this break in upvotes/downvotes to mention that if you have any interest in the Videogum Monsters March Madness Bracket Group, I think you can still join until noon. But if you can’t, don’t blame me, I don’t make the rules. Let’s all be losers together!

  7. No upvotes or downvotes puts us all on Equality Street.

  8. My gay Dr. is named Dr. Geyer…

  9. Penguins scare me.

  10. Darren Aronofsky is over rated.

  11. I have never seen any Harry Potters nor do I care to.

  12. Mick Jones was better than Joe Strummer.

  13. Season 5 of The West Wing is awful, Zzz time TV.

    • I’ve never seen that show. And I’ve only been able to get through 10 minutes of The Wire… but mostly because it’s too realistic and it gave me reporter PTSD.

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