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Oh, first and foremost, great news everybody, THERE’S GOING TO BE A HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS SEQUEL! From Deadline:
The news comes the same day the revisionist fairy tale starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton crossed $200 million at the global box office. That’s a significant milestone and key to the decision to go ahead with a sequel that is now officially in development; Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters made its bones overseas. While the pic opened at $19.6 million here January 25, and topped out at $54 million domestically on what Paramount said was a $50 million budget. But they loved it overseas, where the film has done over $150 million. That provides a strong hedge for these high concept action films.
Congratulations to Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters on passing that 200 mil milestone! Such a dope milestone. All of this is great news, especially for the HGWH-Heads out there. Where my HGWH-Heads at make some noiiiiiiiise! NO, NOT YOU, CRICKETS, THE REAL FANS! Anyway, what should the tagline for the sequel be? I know that we don’t know anything about the sequel’s plot, and that we did not even see the first one, but I still have such faith in our abilities to do this. Here are some suggestions:
- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: These Little Piggies Want To Blow Your Head Off
- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Toto, I Don’t Think We’re In Transylvania Or Whatever Anymore
- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Argo Fuck Yourself
- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Nobody Puts Gretel In The Corner
- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: People Who Live In Gingerbread Houses Shouldn’t Throw Grenades
- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: They Shoot Princesses, Don’t They?
- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Sleeping Beauties (But Instead Of Sleeping–Krav Maga)
These are very good. Just like the movie!
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Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2 HIGH CONCEPT
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Spring Break!
“SPRING BREAK FOREVER, WITCHES!!”
The next sequel: HAGS!
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Why?
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Dead Crumbs.
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunter’s 2: Still Witchin’
They really like apostrophes in the second one.
A movie about punctuation?!?!?!? Sign me up, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hansel and Gretels
2 Hansel 2 Gretel
Hanselier and Gertelier
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Witch, Don’t Kill My Vibe
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Bow Down, Witches
That sounds like the x-rated version
Hansel and Gretel 2: My Girlfriend is Out, I’m Drunk, and This is Streaming on Netflix
It’s really hard to know which is the best sequel tag line without knowing where they left the plot at the end of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 1, but may I suggest: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: In the Name of the Stepmother? or Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Once Upon a Fist?
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Which Witch?
Hansel and Gretel: Which Hunters? A Screwball Comedy
Wait, I am confused. Is that last sentence supposed to suggest that Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is a high concept action film, or saying it is a hedge for high concept action films? If the former, on behalf of high concept action films, I say go fuck yourself, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. If the latter, I am not sure what that is even supposed to mean? Because of how Inception did terrible in the box office obviously?
I think their definition of “High Concept” is, “Movie contains at least one concept”
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Classic Tale, New New Twist
2 Classic 2 Twist
Yes I was going to comment and say the old tagline cannot be improved upon. I’m sure I’ve said this elsewhere, but it reads like they looked at a slide from their pitch meeting and were like, “Perfect, why elaborate?”
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Do You Believe in Magic?
Because it will take magic to make this worth watching, HEY OOOHHHHHH
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Jeremy Renner Prays There’s No Sequel Clause in his Contract
Hansel and Gretel2: Rise of the Lycans
A Good Day to Witch Hard
Witch Hard or Die Flying
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Axe Adventures (I would NOT see this movie.)
Depends on the kind of Axe Adventures.
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Vampire Hunters 3: Abraham Lincoln Hunters 4: The Tale of John Wilkes Booth: A History Channel Production
* based on the bible’s account of Lincoln’s assassination.
Lincoln: based on the novel “Shot” by Sapphire.
Hansel & Gretel 2: The Season of the Bitch
I was curious which countries we should be blaming for this sequel, and was surprised to find out that Brazil takes the largest share of the blame. I really expected Russia to be like 50% of the foreign box office for that turd.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=intl&id=hanselandgretelwitchhunters.htm
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Witches be Crazy
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: Witches Be Shoppin’. Sponsored by Hot Topic. (I know we all discussed before how Hot Topic just ain’t the same, but let’s all pretend it’s 1999 again for the laughs.)
Why does it smell like weed all the 3 times I’ve been in there?
It has never smelled like weed when I’ve been there. The common denominator there seems to be you.
I think the people there partake. I dunno. It smells so bad in there that I can’t go in.
Why does it smell like weed anytime I go somewhere while high?
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters: Colon Wars
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2: HERE COME DA WITCH
Witch Hunters 2: Witch Watchers.
Well, the tagline for the original (according to IMDB) is “Revenge is sweeter than candy.”
You can try to make a better tagline, but that is probably impossible.
How about: They won’t rest until we have all your money
Gus Van Sant’s Good Witch Hunting
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2 : DELETE YOUR COOKIES
H&G2: Jeremy Renner: Less Likable than Bradley Cooper?
Ballistic: Hansel vs. Gretel