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The Telegraph UK (via TheDailyWhat) has the results from an on-line poll of the Top 10 Movie Misquotes. This is a perennial favorite for the pedantic film buff. These are all the iconic movie quotes that it turns out never actually happened.
- “Luke, I am your father” – Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
- “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
- “Do you feel lucky, punk?” – Dirty Harry (1971)
- “Play it again, Sam” – Casablanca (1942)
- “Hello, Clarice” – Silence of the Lambs (1991)
- “Beam me up, Scotty!” – Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
- “Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a damn” – Gone with the Wind (1939)
- “If you build it, they will come” – Field of Dreams (1989)
- “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto” – The Wizard of Oz (1939)
- “Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?” – The Graduate (1967)
All of these, of course, are “in the ether,” as annoying people who say stuff like “in the ether” would say. They’re ingrained in the public consciousness even though they never actually occurred in any of the movies (the Telegraph has corrections/explanations for most of these, with the actual dialog, although in some cases it’s not even a transposed word or a slight adjustment, shit just never happened).
Now it is our turn!
This party game is very simple. You just purposefully mishear famous movie quotes, or make them up yourself, and then try to get them into the national dialogue (so simple). I’ll go first:
- “I’ll be right back” – Terminator
- “Careful, there’s Gremlins in there.” – Gremlins
- “He’s just a rebel without a cause.” – Rebel Without a Cause
- “You are very talented, Mr. Ripley” – The Talented Mr. Ripley
- “I will catch up with you later” – Last of the Mohicans
- “He’s the Lord of the Rings!” – Lord of the Rings
- “What a pretty woman.” – Pretty Woman
- “I sip your milkshake. I sip it up!” – There Will Be Blood
- “I wish I could dump you.” – Brokeback Mountain
- “You can count on me.” – You Can Count on Me
Now everyone thinks these are real! I win!
Your turn.
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“This will be a dangerous star trek” – Star Trek (any of them?)
“I hope that Harold and I can escape from Guantanamo Bay” – Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
“Yes, there will be blood” – There Will Be Blood
“This is certainly no country for an old man like me” – No Country for Old Men
i bet you have a little weener an some tiney nuts – da mastur of disguys
This party game isn’t nearly as good as your other party games, but, alas.
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a shit.” – Gone With the Wind
“Relax, ‘technojeremy’.” – The Matrix
Winner.
Forget it, Jake…it’s Chinesetown.
ferris bueller, you’re rather admirable.
“Well, this is a curious case, Benjamin Button.”- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
“Hey, did you guys see Forrest Gump?”- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
“Boy, reality bites.” – Reality Bites
“You know, when you live the life aquatic for this long you forget how to live any other way.” – The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
“Hey man, give me back that bunny!” – Con Air
“I kicked that Wolf in the nards!” – Monster Squad
“What a young Frankenstein.” – Young Frankenstein
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“Transformers, turn into stuff and move out!”
“I’m Jason Bourne and I’m giving you an ultimatum”
“I have had it with these motherfucking reptiles on this motherfucking aircraft!”
“You’re gonna need a larger boat.” – Jaws
“Deserve’s got little to do with it.” – Unforgiven
“Oh no, I’ve got vertigo!” – Vertigo
We might need a larger sea-faring vessel.
“Hey Carl, remember when you tried to catch me but you couldn’t but then you finally did?” – Catch Me If You Can
“Fredo, I knew it was you, what a surprise.” – The Godfather Part II
“I know cyber kung fu but not real life kung fu” – The Matrix
“I’m gonna make him a Godfather he can’t refuse” – The Godfather
“You talkin’ to that guy?” – Taxi Driver
“Streetcar! Hey, Streetcar!” – A Streetcar Named Desire
“I have a sixth sense” – The Sixth Sense
“You had me when you said hello” – Jerry Maguire
“I just can’t wait to get out of Africa.”
“Aww boy, Im just so tired of all these star wars.”
haha..i was waitin for these UCB references…good job everybody
“That’s not a knife. THIS is a knife.”
Wait, are we just doing joke ones?
“It’s killin’ time.” – A Time to Kill
“That guy is such a psycho.” – Psycho
“I’m sorry, Mr. Dicaprio left hours ago” – The Departed
“Once upon a time in the west…” – Once Upon a Time in the West
“My favorite color is, and always will be, purple.” – the color purple
“Damn it! I got knocked up…again.” – Knocked Up 2: Knocked Up…Again
i believe it’s called Look Who’s Knocked Up Too
I’m always on the lookout for the next, ex Mrs.Goldblum – Jurassic Park
“Transformers morph into Megazord!” – Transformers
“If you build it, some guys will come out of the corn and play baseball on it. Sure, this sounds terrifying, but you’ll like it because you miss your dad. Oh, and the it from before is a baseball field, which you should build in your corn field because they are both fields of some sort.” – Pulp Fiction
“This place is just gone with the wind” – Gone With the Wind
“You’re totally not racist, Miss Daisy” – Driving Miss Daisy
“This could be the start of beautiful penmanship” – Casablanca
“we’re not gonna need a bigger boat!” – titanic
“It’s all about the benjamins!’ – All About The Benjamins
“I thought you were the Moon and I was your Wolverine. Turns out you’re the Trickster, and I’m the fool who just pissed himself.” – X-Men Origins: Wolverine
“AHHHHH!!! BIRDS!!!!” – The Birds
“AHHHHH!!! SAWS!!!” – Saw III
“What’s up, Harry? It’s me, Sally. Nice to meet you.” – When Harry Met Sally
I sure am tired of all these Cats: The Movie.
“I’d like to order what that woman is eating” – When Harry Met Sally
“I never hit her. I neeever. Oh, hi Mike.” – The Room
Nobody’s gonna top that.
You have won. I’m not even going to bother.
“It’s all downhill from here.”
– Lindsay Lohan, Mean Girls
“STELLAR!!!!!!” – A Streetcar Named Desire
“Pardon me, is this the last picture show you have scheduled for this evening? – The Last Picture Show
“This racism is killing me!” – Dumbo, Song of the South, The Princess and the Frog (et al.)
“RAAAAAAAARRRRI’M UPSET!!!!” – X-Men Origins: Wolverine
“It’s like we’re in some kind of crazy Superhero Movie!” – Superhero Movie
“You weren’t kiddin’ – she IS all that!” – She’s All That
Stanley Kubrick mashups:
“Drop the bomb, what’s the worst that could happen?” – Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Stopped Worrying and Love the Bomb
“I’m going to have to diagnose your son with, The Shining” – The Shining
“Strap on that metal jacket, we got us some Vietnamese to kill.” – Full Metal Jacket
“You can’t tell time from an orange.” -A Clockwork Orange
“Someone wrote ‘Wash Me’ in the dirt on my rear window.” Rear Window
“Where’s Johnny?” The Shining
“You can’t handle the truth! It’s hot!” A Few Good Men
“Wow, it’s so creepy that I kissed my sister.” Star Wars
“Stop it. You had me at deus ex machina.” Jerry Maguire
“Bond. James Kilpatrick Bond the third.”
“My mama always said, ‘Life is like a box of snakes, soul-crushing and tediously mundane.”
“Toto, I think I’m gonna barf.”
“Love means never having to say I’m sorry I knocked you up.”
“There’s no steroids in baseball!” A League of Their Own
“Nobody shakes Baby in a corner.”
“I’d like you to make me orgasm with your food too, please” When Harry Met Sally
“Man, I sure am tired of all these Star Wars.”
“My mama always said life is like a box of chocolates, some of them are coconut.” – Forrest Gump
“I’ll make him an offer he can’t turn down.” – The Godfather
“Love means never having to apologize. Ever.” – Love Story
“I’m looking at you, kid.” – Casablanca
“I love how napalm smells in the morning!” – Apocalypse Now
“Sweet list, Schindler.” – Schindler’s List
“Are you looking at me, the taxi driver?” – Taxi Driver
” ” – Punch Drunk Love
“RED VODKA.” — The Shining
“My mother! My mother! My mother! My mother!” – Chinatown
“My sled!” – Citizen Kane
“Wipe forward, wipe backwards” – The Karate Kid
“Mission accomplished!” – Mission Impossible
“You’re gonna die laughing!” – The Dark Knight
“297. . .298. . .299″
“Wow, life sure is crazy when you’re being John Malkovich.” – Being John Malkovich
“I choose!” -Sophie’s Choice
“A while ago, in some other place…”
-Star Wars
“We’re gonna need a bigger throat.” – Deep Throat
“We should do this every Saturday.” The Breakfast Club
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“They call me Mister Tibbs. Or Virgil if we’re friends.”
” I don’t eat Wookie, it’s a filthy animal” – Mace Windu, Ep. 1 the Phantom Menace
“Why so intense?” – TDK
“Nobody puts a kid in the corner”–Dirty Dancing
“I know it may seem that I was acting like a mean girl, but that’s only because I was acting like a mean girl” – Mean Girls
“I never had friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve lived a very sad and lonely life.” -Stand By Me
I’ll just do the ones the Telegraph did because I’m lazy.
“You cut off my arm, Darth Vader.” – Empire Strikes Back
“Eat this apple for good luck.” – Snow White
“Pound sand, you hippies.” – Dirty Harry
“It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” – Casablanca
“Don’t hurt my dog in the basket!” – Silence of the Lambs
“Remember when Tyler Perry was our dean?” – Star Trek
“I have a hard time reconciling human rights and slave labor.” – Gone with the Wind
“Everybody loves motherfuckin’ baseball, Ray. Fuck.” – Field of Dreams
“It was weird because while I was dreaming, I didn’t even realize you guys were all in it. Aren’t dreams weird in Kansas anymore?” – The Wizard of Oz
“I’m going to jump in this pool for awhile.” – The Graduate
“Shazz-bot!” – Bicentennial Man
“… phew … *cough* … i just… huh… wow… hot out here… h-h-h-h… *cough cough*… i ran … all… the … ” – Breathless
“I’m on a motherfucking boat!” Titanic
“Do not want!” Star wars Episode 3
“BONK! SPLAT! KAPOW!” The Dark Knight
“Come on dad, girls just wanna have fun!”
-Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
“Who were the Titans?” – Remember the Titans
“I’ve had it with these motherfucking dinosaurs on this motherfucking island!” – Jurassic Park
“To boldly go where nobody has ever been before, ever, unless you count the original inhabitants, who have been there before by definition, but whatever, man.” – Star Trek(s)
“Hey Muppets, let’s take over Manhattan!” – Muppets Take Manhattan
“The only thing that could ruin this day is a broken arrow.” – Broken Arrow
“You better figure this out in three days.” – Three Days of the Condor
“Now we must trek through the stars”
“Excellence!” Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
“suck it nerds!” – Star Wars
I’m a man playing a man, disguised as another man. – Tropic Thunder
The dude hangs around for a while-The Big Lebowski
“Hey guys, remember that thing we did last summer?”
That Star Wars misquote irks me every time I hear it. I always feel the need to correct whoever says it, and in return all I get is “no, ur wrong lolol.ol.”
So to paraphrase you feel the need to correct people who misquote a movie and use the word “irks.” Nerd.
“i’ve had it with these snakes on this plane”.
This…Is…A 400′s BC Greek City State!
“Some inmates aren’t meant to be jailed, their feathers are too bright” The Shawshank Redemption
“VOLLEYBALL!!!!!!!!!!” – Cast Away
“You aren’t sure what your talking about” No Country
“Live long and Star Trek” Star Trek
“I couldn’t sleep last night” The Nightmare Before Christmas
“Who’d have thought we’d get attacked by killer tomatoes!?” – Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
“We have to save Private Bryan!” – Saving Private Ryan
“Do I look like I itch to you?”- Pulp Fiction
i appologize, “Does he look like he has an itch?”
“Bama, Barack Obama”- The in production movie “Double 0-bama, Econopussy”
“You’re the dog now, man” – Finding Forrester
“So we’ll hunt him because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A Batman Begins. ” -The Dark Knight
“I would like some more life” -Blade Runner
“It’s like warm apple crumble.”
– American Pie
“I’ll be stopping in a bit later.”–Terminator
“Warriors, come out and join us for this game of hopscotch!”–The Warriors
“Man, we were getting it on like, four hours ago, and now this?!”–Titanic
“Try getting a reservation at Dave & Buster’s now!”–American Psycho
“Sorry for making you watch this, audience. Seriously, sorry.”–Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a shit.”
“I want to talk about plastic.” – The Graduate
“So what’s for breakfast?” – The Breakfast Club.
“Don’t cry, Kate – my heart will go on.” – Titanic
“Now where did I put that memento?” – Memento
“Get ready to meet my little friend.”
“Get ready to meet my little friend.” – Boogie Nights
Kate, I’d like to inform you with visible urgency that our return to our previous South Pacific location must occur posthaste.
Cordially yours,
Beardy
“My name is Batman”
Fuggetaboudit, a-Jake. Itsa not top town iz Chinatowns.
If we want to kill this shark, we should get a different boat.
Someone has raided my lost ark! – Raiders of the Lost Ark
Name’s Lawrence…Lawrence of Arabia – Lawrence of Arabia
Rock me Amadeus! – Amadues
Where we are going, I hope they have roads! – Back to the Future
How do you like these Bananas? – Good Will Hunting
I’m in Little China and there’s Big Trouble! – Big Trouble in Little China
I just had a Close Encounter…of the Third Kind –
“Better line up the usual suspects.”
“Some like it Hoth” –
LostSome Like It Hot“where we are going roads are not a requirement for travel” – back to the future part 2
“I am jack, and this here is my lack of interest” – fight club
“i could have been a participant!” On the Waterfront
“you had me at hi.” jerry macquire
“where we are going roads are not a requirement for travel” – back to the future part 2
“I am jack, and this here is my lack of interest” – fight club
“i could have been a participant!” On the Waterfront
“you had me at hi.” jerry macquire
“I love you, Fredo, but I know you broke my heart.” – Goodfellas
“She’s wild, like a heart that can’t be broken.” – Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken
“We’re off to Mt. Rushmore!” – Rushmore
“FERRRRRETS!” Red Dawn
“Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” X-Men Origins: Wolverine
“I’ve been diagnosed with OCD” The Constant Gardner
“Maybe I should reconsider my life choices and behave like an adult instead of a petulant manchild?” – Every Will Ferrel movie ever made.
“So, mint is green, people.”