
Sorry, guys. So sorry. I don’t do links. I’m not saying anything about people who do them. Or people who read them. We are all flying through space on this crazy blue marble called Spaceship Planet Earth together, or whatever. I just don’t have whatever the thing is in a human being that allows them to do links. That part of me is broken and it can’t be fixed. Here’s the thing about links: even though they are widely agreed to be the easiest way to get a quick and exhaustive survey of the relevant stories of the day, and they are both a fun and easy way to feel like you are caught up with the world around you, when I see a collection of links all that happens to me is I feel the weight of the dirt collecting on top of my coffin. (I’m sorry, Hugo Chavez, I am not trying to make light of the very dark reality of actual death. But you of all people understood the powerful rhetoric of a good visual metaphor!) OK, that’s a little bit dramatic. But, like, OK, remember that MTV cartoon Daria? That was by all accounts a good cartoon and people loved it. But for whatever reason, if an episode of Daria came on it was my signal that I needed to turn off the television and actually DO something with my life. It was just, like, Daria is fine but I just knew that there was SOMETHING better I could be doing with my time than watching Daria. And that’s how I feel about lists of links on the Internet. They’re fine! But if I am reading or writing one then I should definitely be doing something else. You know, before I die and stuff. That being said I am sure there were some fun things worth looking at and talking about on the Internet today that we missed and by we I mean me or sorry, I, so why don’t you help a brother out EWWWWW just kidding but why don’t you post the worthwhile stuff in the comments and do my job for me? Just do it! You’re going to die one day too, so help me out. Don’t you want to get into heaven?! (Ooooof. See? This is why Kelly does these. I’m fired!)
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.



























I understand not wanting to write a big ol’ list of links. Confession time: I don’t usually read the linked articles. At best, I find one headline that I like and then just comment on that because I am just not thorough at all. When my mom would tell me to clean my room I would always be like “Oh you mean just shove 3 weeks’ worth of nasty-ass soccer socks under my bed and then turn my AC all the way up so the moist smelliness isn’t overwhelming?” because that’s how thorough I am down deep in my core.
Me neither. Occasionally there will be a link that I feel compelled to click on, but “links” posts usually read like a sign that says “check back in about 45 minutes”.
I came across this really great article today; some really thought-provoking stuff. Check it out here.
I think Gabe either needs to take a vacation or stop listening to so much Tim McGraw
Most of my day at work consists of thinking there MUST be something better I can be doing with my time on earth. Then I click on a bunch of links to distract myself from that thought.
I don’t have any links because I’ve been too busy; I haven’t even read VG all week!!! But I miss you guys so here’s my best offer for an afternoon link.
Wait, I just realized I do have a link but it’s serious, not funny! Did you guys see the NYT article on stealth subsidies? Get ready to be really mad. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/05/business/qualified-private-activity-bonds-come-under-new-scrutiny.html?_r=0
I really miss that lady.
Remember when Rose was on her show in the future and couldn’t’ answer any questions because she’s a big dummy? Hahahahaha. Rose is the worst.
Awww. I know it’s unpopular, but I’m fairly Rose tolerant.
I like Rose. And Martha and Donna! They’re all great. I don’t get the polarization (I mean I do, because that’s how we (as a species) tend to think, but it’s a shame).
I read this article that Mental Floss tweeted so probably everyone on earth has already read it. But then I spent a minute of my life trying to recreate my natural “poop smellin’ face” to see if it matched the face they described. I think it does.
http://mentalfloss.com/article/49033/why-does-poop-stink
Seriousgum: I am fascinated by the work that people are doing to alleviate the devastating effects of food deserts, so this TED talk on Ron Finley’s urban/ guerilla gardening work in south central L.A. was really motivating for me! http://www.ted.com/talks/ron_finley_a_guerilla_gardener_in_south_central_la.html Sorry, I do not have any funny links.
This is what happens when you fire everyone, Gabe.
Gabe, you’ve really been cracking me up all do. You have no idea how happy I am that Hugo Chavez kicked it yesterday.
Dammit, day.
What was on MTV at that time that was better than Daria? That show was fantastic. TRL? Real World: New Orleans?
Real World: New Orleans was great just for the episode where Melissa got drunk and told David that “you and me and Jaime should get…in a menagerie.”
I can’t remember where I saw it, but earlier today I happened across a link to a New York Times article about how, for better or worse, Hugo Chavez changed how Venezuela sees itself. If you find it, you should read it.
not even him???
I’ve found that if you follow this line of thought far enough, there is literally ALWAYS something better that you can be doing with your time. Unless you’re Bill Gates or something.
I’m sure other people have expressed this notion far more eloquently than I just have. Like Neil Degrasse Tyson. Or Ron Swanson. Or Bill Gates or something.
This is our pop
culture blog
And we don’t want to swap
Excuse me
Excuse me
We mean no disrespect,
Don’t wish to disaffect
‘Here Are Links’ can be a disconnect
Don’t care what gossip sites confect
WMOAT you should resurrect
la la laaaa, la la