Sigh. We all love Andy Rooney, but these “Must fill two minutes with random sentences tenuously connected by a common word” columns are ridiculous. This one isn’t quite as bizarre as 3/01/09, but close:

“Because I’ve been counting I know that today is President Obama’s 104th day in office.” Doesn’t Andy Rooney watch the news? Counting since when, Wednesday? There was one bright spot in this whole thing: the “Secretary Of Savings” idea, which was reminiscent of the day Andy made a little sense last month, but then it gets all absurd again. And the last line sounds like a plea to keep his job, which is scary: even though he’s not making a ton of sense anymore, we need Andy on Sunday nights. He can just sit quietly and rearrange the small things on his desk if he wants.

Comments (11)
  1. “It’s one of my…small things. I bet every president has some small things on his desk, that are his and his alone.”

  2. booferama  |   Posted on May 4th, 2009 +7

    Dear Mr. President,

    There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.

    P.S. I am not a crackpot.

  3. paige  |   Posted on May 4th, 2009 +4

    i don’t understand when 60 minutes became a program for children to learn where andy rooney’s desk came from. or what an office is.
    i’m thinking mr. rooney is pretty irrelevant if this is what they’re letting him talk about.

  4. Remember that public outcry of septuagenerians when he was suspended for saying gay sex shortened life spans? Most of those people are dead now. I think it’s safe to retire Andy Rooney.

  5. He’s still fucking alive and talking?!

  6. My brain hurts now.

  7. I love when he says that 60 Minutes is “a program we need!” and looks down in shame.

    Obama already has a “secretary of savings”, Nancy Killefer, the chief performance officer… which sort of blew my mind when I realized. Has Barack Obama been watching these?!

  8. FredfromStains  |   Posted on May 4th, 2009 +2

    Anyone remember when Ali G abused Andy Rooney….classic stuff..

  9. johan  |   Posted on May 4th, 2009 +4

    “…And this concludes my 3rd grade report on the US President.”

  10. Just replace the word “President” with “Andy Rooney” and the true meaning of the message will be revealed!

  11. To be fair, at least this time he had a theme connecting all his ramblings together…it wasn’t TOO random.

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