
Whoa. Check out Ethan Hawke! My main man! It’s funny the paths life can take sometimes, you know? When I moved to New York City almost seven years ago, I thought to myself, Well, this is it. I’m done. I am going to die here, in the greatest city on Earth. I love it here and nothing will ever make me want to leave. And then, when I moved away from New York City this past fall I realized, oh, wait, no, you really never know what is going to happen next. It is impossible to predict what you are going to want in three years from now, much less five or ten or one hundred or one thousand. (Oh, P.S. the other thing I realized is that thinking I was going to die in New York was crazy because I am never going to die.) There was an interesting article in the New York TImes last month about this particular effect. Basically, we are currently the accumulation of all of our experiences and desires and interests and whatever, and we recognize that those have changed over time, but that is where our imagination stops, and most people (falsely) expect that they will continue to just be the same person in the future, even though they will continue to be lots of different people over their lifetimes, just as they have been so far. So let’s all just enjoy what we have right now, and not even spend too much energy worrying about what we think we are going to wish we had later. What I’m trying to say is that Ethan Hawke probably never even saw this coming, but now here he is, and he’s making the most of it. One day you’re a flannel-wearing, late-90s heartthrob, the next day you are a transsexual Nazi hunter or whatever that Sean Penn movie that turned out to look surprisingly good was about. And the best part is, Ethan looks great doing it. Just bein’ Ethan! (I call him Ethan now.) High fives to all our former, current, and future selves!
Click through to enlarge. (Image via Celebitchy.)
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‘Click through to enlarge.’ I’m all set, thanks!
This is what Guy Fieri would look like if he’d cut back on the Donkey Sauce.
Ethan Hawke did not realize that some day he would be moving to #Flavortown.
He looks like Johnny Drama dressed up as Guy Fieri.
Or the guy from Prodigy, deflated like a balloon.
OR…
That photograph needs more albinos, to be honest.
Or the lost member of Green Day.
He looks like a cracked out Billy Idol, freal doe
Or regular current day Billy Idol, apparently
Close.
Jebbo Darko commento aeternum.
Close.
Something something helluva drug…
Someone needs to have a Chattaca with this guy. #topical
Ethan’s new look, explained!
WHO CARES? WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A NEWSPAPER?
#videogumombudsman
Not pictured: the anarchy symbol drawn on the back of his jacket.
Is he playing Scott Weiland in a terrible new biopic?
I was going to post that picture of him from Hamlet 2000 where he’s dressed like a Spin Doctor, wandering around a Blockbuster giving the “To Be Or Not To Be” soliloquy to prove that he’s never EVER been cute, but this quote from the Grey Lady is so much more entertaining…
This article itself and this very quote are just one of many that I have read in the past two years or so that honestly has me wondering if the New York Times has always been terrible and I was too young to notice or did the quality of their writing really take a significant plunge? Was it because of the paywall and basic need to move to Internet-ad traffic so they do garbage hate reads on the fast… or has it actually always been this bad??? I stay up at night wondering about it.
This being said, the idea of someone telling a NYT reporter that Coldplay will “blaze on forever” is my new favorite mental image of all time.
Dammit, badidea. Now Afternoon Delight is running nonstop through my head.
I think it’s always had a tendency to be ridiculous when it covers pop culture. Something about being cool and haughty at the same time fails.
Uh, isn’t this a matter of Creed fans (lol) somehow being smart enough to project 10 years of inflation? Is NYT really too dumb to realize people are not dumb?
Hey, looks like Ethan Hawke is starring in a new movie. Roots.
#hairjokes
I thought it was called Frost/ Ethan.
I had Great Expectations for how the heartthrobs of my teen years would age, but Reality Bites.
There’s something SINISTER about his new ‘do, and WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU makes you stronger and all that, but I’d be BROOKLYN’S FINEST if I could SEARCH AND DESTROY what exactly it is BEFORE SUNRISE, BEFORE SUNSET, and BFORE MIDNIGHT BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD DAYBREAKERS
No high-fives for MY former self… I’m constantly annoyed at that guy for wasting his time reading VideoGum when he was supposed to be getting stuff done.
Ethan Hawke is Mark McGrath in Sugar Ray DEATH!