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I think it’s happening, you guys. The terribleness of Heidi Montag’s “music” has gone from virtually unbearable to somehow…pleasurable. It’s not that the music has gotten any better. It still sounds like a drunken karaoke singer with terrible taste in songs being fed to a mean computer.
But the experience of listening to it has shifted. Because we’re all in on the joke now, right? Even she has to be in on it at this point. Has she ever heard music before? They should have midnight screenings of her songs is what I’m saying. When I was little, I used to get raw gums from brushing too hard, and it would sting to brush them more because of the raw gums, but wherever the gums were rawest is actually where I would brush the hardest, and I would spit out more blood than toothpaste into the sink. I am sure this is a completely normal period in childhood development that every single person goes through, so it’s not even weird at all. Just kids stuff. But this is the new that. Listening to Heidi Montag is the new weird pleasure through mild pain.
At least for this one song. It’s called “Sex Ed” and it’s awful. I love it.
HURTS SO GOOD!
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Do people actually think this woman is attractive? I’m pretty sure she’s one of the seven signs of the apocalypse.
You are wrong.
As a masochist, I can say without a doubt that this is the audible equivilent of getting pegged.
don’t you mean raped?
Gross.
I used to think that Heidi Montag had absolutely no reason to exist, but she was obviously put on Earth to give us this train wreck. “Sex Ed” is clearly this year’s number one summer jam. Clearly.
Summer Jam = 3rd rate strip club staple
Nomi agrees.
“Give me that stupid body.”
Definitely going to use that on my next date.
I think it’s Student Body..
Which obviously moves it more towards poetry than before.
ALWAYS FADE OUT HEIDI MONTAG……
I don’t think this qualifies as music.
Is there supposed to blood running out of my ears?
Just keep brushing them.
This music is truly inspirational to dead-eyed, talentless ego corpses everywhere. With just an the right amount of auto-tuning and media coverage, you too can get that recording contract you’ve always dreamed of.
You said exactly what I was thinking in a more eloquent way. My main point was going to be GODDAMN FUCKING AUTO TUNE IS THE WORST BLAARRGHHH but you said it better.
I know what the liberals say, but don’t think this is going to help reduce teen pregnancy rates…
I do not like this, and I pretty much like anything.
If you are interested in some “classic” Heidi, her song “Fashion” is very catchy. It was written by Lady GaGa. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qlLLMM_LL8
We just got hit by a suck train. Call 911!
autotune nightmare.
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Everyone’s comments so far are about the song, and not Heidi personally. So, your comment is baseless. I think you may need some fornifacation.
“Everyone’s comments so far are about the song, and not Heidi personally. So, your comment is baseless. ”
Umm….
“TO REITERATE: Heidi Montag is absolutely without worth as a public figure and, very possibly, as a human being. This isnt about that. ”
Congratulations, you just proved his point.
I guess I did…in a way. However, I took his point as: we comment that it sucks cause VG says it sucks. Which, no. It sucks cause it sucks. Doesn’t matter if “Repackage this under a different personality”. If it’s not about her as a person, then why repackage it under a different personality? It would still suck. And I still stand by my fornifacation comment. Moving on.
I like the “million snarkhammers looking for an easy nail” phraseology, but could we maybe call them hammersnarks? WORDPLAY!!!!!!
I’m totally with you on the bloody teeth thing.
me too. children are fucked up.
Heidi isn’t from Williamsburg?
This sounds like a nightmare I had once.
I think I speak for everyone when I say this: ENOUGH WITH THE TALK BOX, MUSIC INDUSTRY.
Autotune is such a nightmare! No matter who it is, it sounds like a robot self-destructing. I like electronic music, but this is science run amok. More worrisome than cloning.
totally dropping this one after “Stanky Legg”
Her first album was so good. It sounds like she’s just trying to hard to stay relevant with this one.
So, this is quite possibly the worst thing ever produced.
get on your grind grind?
This sounds like when people make fun of autotuner. Not when professional comedians make of autotuner even, more like when a youtube “comedian” does it.
I made it to 53 seconds. This should be used as a torture device.
My sex-ed was abstinence only. I prefer that preachy mess over this horrible monstrosity.
I think this song is a little overrated. Look for example Poker Face from Lady Gaga which is much better
This song is so smart! So many school-related puns!
/dies
i listened to the entire thing.
is this real
omg
how are these people even alive
i want to shoot myself straight in the fucking face after hearing that
Seriously? No one’s going to give props for the Chopping Mall reference? Nice one, Gabe.