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You may know that this Thursday night brings with it the final episode of the beloved television series 30 Rock. It’s going to be ok! PLEASE STOP CRYING, YOU ARE MAKING A SCENE. I promise that although the pain may never fully go away, you will soon be able to work through the loss of this TV show that has been good this season but before that was not good for a bunch of seasons if we’re being honest with ourselves, which I think we should be, and carry on with your day-to-day. To help ease your pain, Ben & Jerrys is creating a 30 Rock ice cream flavor, in memoriam. Ok? Can you pull it together enough to read the blurb about it? From The Hollywood Reporter:
In honor of the 30 Rock series finale, Ben & Jerry’s is set to debut a new flavor inspired by the NBC comedy.
The company is selling tickets to a finale viewing party — during which the new flavor will be unveiled — set to take place Thursday night at Latitude Bar & Lounge in New York.
“What’s the flavor, you ask?! Well, you’ll just have to join us to find out … our lips — and our pints — are sealed until the finale,” the announcement reads.
WHAT’S THE FLAVOR? Bloggers across the ‘net have furiously been emailing their friends who have Photoshop to draft up their guesses, I’m sure. (“Uhh, ok, so can you have it look like a Ben & Jerrys pint, but have Liz Lemon on it, and have it be like…Lizard Lemonade With Jack Donuts-aghy? Like, that’s the name of it. And then under that write the description, ‘Lemonade flavor with toffee lizards and donuts.’ And can you have it to me pretty soon?”) And you can do that in the comments, too, if you want! It’s a free country, do whatever. But do you think it would also be fun to imagine other Ben & Jerrys TV show ice cream flavors? In better ways than other blogs do it, because I’m sure they have and will continue to? Let’s try:
- Parenthood: Salty tear taste and frozen skittles that break your teeth.
- Girls: Cocaine and bath water.
- Top Chef: Half-cooked risotto and little knives.
- The Wire: Flavor that I’m definitely sure is very good but won’t be trying for a while because who has the time.
- Ben & Kate: Ice cream that you keep in the freezer for a rainy day because you know it’s good but you never REALLY want it and then all of a sudden it’s not there anymore and you’re like, dangit! I was going to eat that!
- Bob’s Burgers: Consistently very good ice cream sandwich with bunny ears.
- Nashville: Wasabi and chocolate and peanut butter and jalapenos, and you keep trying to explain to your friends that it’s actually not that bad and they’re always like, “No way. Gross.”
Ok, now you try! Try and see if it’s fun!
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Girls: Cocaine and bath water
Kelly, you are amazing. <3
Also: Dr. Who – Freeze Dried Ice Cream that they sold at the science museum and your parents would never let you buy.
Doubleplusunalso: because we are talking about food and tv together, everyone should watch Posh Nosh! They are great! I cannot even express the great.
Astronaut ice cream is my favorite kind of ice cream. I seek it out whenever I go to planetariums and museums and zoos, much to the chagrin of my mother. Also: you can’t get astronaut ice cream at the Griffith Observatory, which is just insane to me. Also for the sake of the game, I’m calling it Astronaut Mike Dexter Ice Cream.
Since this is a post about ice cream, I want to beg and plead that no one take the opportunity and post something with “the ad that shall not be named”. Thank you.
On a related note- will any member of the Videogum staff please post a new video and get that friggin’ abomination off the front page.
Catfish: the TV Show: The carton says it’s Cookie Dough but it’s really Bubblegum.
Hoarders old gummy hard candy and nickles in a vanilla ice cream that tastes like dust and dessicated dreams.
That candy is filled with MEMORIES. Also: tiny cat skeletons made from crackers.
It’s going to be a real anticlimax when they announce that the 30 Rock ice cream is just “30 Rocky Road”
Or Liz Lemon Sherbert.
Ancient Aliens: Nuts.
This made me laugh harder than anything else I read today. To be fair, I’ve been reading art theory. Still.
M*A*S*H: Starts out sweet but turns sour towards the end.
16 and pregurt: strawberry gogurt, marshmallow diaper hash, Plan B candy necklaces, sprinkles
Plan B candy necklaces = genius.
Parks and Rec: Waffle Sundae
or this:
I’ve mentioned this here before, but only because it is awesome. My landlords made me this ice cream once and it was incredible. They also later made Vicecream, which is ice cream with bacon, whiskey, rum, and weed.
Are your landlords named Ben & Jerry?
No, but if people really want to know the secret 30 Rock flavor, I am totally willing to break into the factory at night and try to find out.
Gossip Girl: You think it’s one kind of flavor but then they tell you it’s this other flavor that doesn’t really make sense when you think about it.
Gossip Girl: What flavor am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell.
Jersey Shore: Rum flavored ice cream with Meatballs & Steroids. Sprinkled with just enough parmesan cheese to smell of feet.
But your freezer broke and now it’s gone.
This post is making me want to eat the container of Caribbean Coconut gelato that’s in my freezer.
Fuckin’ Talenti, am I right?
Revenge would be a delicate grapefruit sorbet with ribbons of bordeaux wine, unsweetened chocolate and slight traces of arsenic.
Parks and Recreation: Ice cream that doesn’t taste very good at all for the first few bites, but you quickly forget about that and it gets really good and sometimes it’s so sweet that you tear up a bit, but in a good way.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you go back and watch the first episodes on Netflix, they’re actually very good. Granted, not as great as season 2, but the “early bad period” of the show that everyone always references is really only like half an episode. It hits it’s stride almost immediately.
There was a gratuitous amount of people just falling into a big hole. I stand by my ruling!
Breaking Bad: you thought that it was just rock candy sprinkled in the vanilla? Nope, actual meth. You’re welcome.
Also, Game of Thrones: Vanilla (because it has the whitest cast outside of reruns of Friends) with accents of blood and syphilis (or whatever’s wrong with Joffrey).
I need a good punny name for that, guys.
Jon Snowcone? Arya ‘n Lace? King’s Blanding? Games of Cones?!? Yeah, no, I give up too…
You SHOULD toss in the towel after “Games of Cones”, because that’s the obvious best-ever answer right there.
I love this game….just like the wine from last week!!!
Arrested Development: cornballs and ice cream sandwich bites in blue ice cream
Mad Men: whiskey and rye flavored ice cream with smoke-infused man falling shaped chocolate pieces and bugles
The Walking Dead: blueberry ice cream (cause it would be a greyish color) with bright red strawberry ribbons that burst throughout and each carton promises a chocolate Carl-shaped chunk but none of them have one so the whole time you’re like “Where’s Carl?”
Conan: Orange Sherbert
Also, I think we all know that the 30 Rock ice cream is just gonna be ham.
Oh, it’s gonna have nerds in it! Nerds!
I love you, specialk for knowing what my brain was thinking!
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia will have chunks of rum *and* ham.
<3
Jenna Maroney Brownie Bites. Jenna Mabrownie?
Tracey Jordan Triple Fudge Chunk
Kenneth Cookie Crumble
Jack Donaghy something something Irish creme something
Liz Lemon Sherbet
Muffin Top something?
High-Fiving A Million Angels Food Cake
Dennis Duffy Rocky Road
Astronaut Ice Cream Mike Dexter
Hmmm. Muffin Top is much harder than I first thought. Here are the lyrics, folks. Don’t let that one go to waste. http://lyrics.wikia.com/30_Rock:Muffin_Top
I love 30 Rock and ice cream so this is my new favorite game.
I don’t really care what the ice cream is named but I _really_ want the last line of the series to be “Shut it down.”
The Dealbreaker: Lemon Sherbert with chunks of jawbreaker candy and wig hair strands scattered throughout
Leapin’ Lizzy: Blue and yellow rhubarb-flavoured ice cream, infused with children’s tears and fish soup.
Caramel Burnitt: Golden honeycomb ice cream with ribbons of soft burnt caramel and bland, overcooked breakfast sausage with scrambled eggs.