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As Sean Connery famously said in the movie Entrapment, “Let’s dress up like Smurfs to cause our crimes that is the best way.” Ever since, it has been an endless string of copycat criminals, trying to be masters of crime in their Smurf costumes. We’ve all heard the stories. At this point, it is weird when someone causes a crime who is NOT in a Smurf costume. Are they trying to be caught? Is this the cry for help? Two mysteries. But today we have another story of another perfect crime caused in Australia by a gang in Smurf costumes. According to the news, they assaulted a man in a 7-11 parking lot after he refused to light their cigarette, which they asked him to light in the middle of trying to rob a car. So two great crimes all in one. This was probably their last job before they tried to go clean because they would make enough from the stolen white VS Commodore Sedan and the lit cigarette to retire to some garbage can somewhere. I’m not saying that I approve of causing crimes, because I don’t, but it’s always exciting to watch skilled professionals do incredible work. See the masters displaying their craft after the jump:
The Smurf is probably just using the card reader to check his bank balance and make sure the wire transfer of 100 cigarettes directly into his big account went through. Now he’s a ghost. Kaizer Smurfse. (GOOD ONE, GABE! THAT JOKE IS A CRIME!)
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Guys, I’m worried about Godsauce.
And Tobias Funke.
You clearly don’t know who you’re talking to, so let me clue you in: I am not in danger, lilbobbytables. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No! I am the one who knocks!
Those are some tight pants! And did one of them paint a belt on his pants? Do Smurfs wear belts?
It’s weird that someone wouldn’t want to light someone else’s cigarette at a gas station. How weird of them to not enjoy DYING IN A FIREY EXPLOSION.
They also flew in the face of the “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” rule.
Looks like these guys got caught
blue-handed.
They really blue it huh?
“Is that debit or credit?” -Something Someone Has Actually Had To Ask An IRL Smurf
“GIVE ME ALL YOUR SMURFS BEFORE I SMURF YOU IN THE SMURFING SMURF!!!” – The most confusing bank robbery ever
“Everybody be smurf, this is a robbery!”
“Any of you smurfing smurfs move, and I’ll smurf every mother-smurfing last one of you!”
-Quentin Tarantino’s Smurf Fiction
“This is a smurf-up.”
Australia really needs to stop painting their faces and going around in paint-face. It always ends badly.