doctorssalvia.jpg

Ah, The Doctors. Does anyone watch it? I think the reason The Doctors gets so little in the way of viral video (or The Soup) love is because EVERY MINUTE of EVERY SHOW is worthy of being a crazy WTF clip. I swear, every time I turn it on, they’re scaring parents (and teaching teenagers) about fake teen trends like “vodka tampons,” or building a mannequin that vomits in order to show how vomit happens. (That was in the promo for Tuesday’s show!) But here’s one I missed when it originally aired, that aired again on Monday: for a story on salvia, that drug everyone’s always flipping out about on the news but nobody ever bothers to make illegal, The Doctors actually got a “researcher” to smoke salvia in their studio and talk about how it made him feel. It’s crazy — not in a “teenager on salvia YouTube video way”, but a “straight-laced businessman accidentally drinks ‘shroom tea” way:

“It’s almost as if you have a viewer watching you within yourself…I know that sounds ridiculous! The feeling of being yourself within your body is lost.” Well, thanks The Doctors, but can you try it on a guy who’s at least smoked pot before? This experiment was fundamentally flawed. (Thanks to Jeremy for the tip!)

Comments (33)
  1. i couldnt walk when i did that shit, i wouldve never made it out of that chair

  2. yomomma  |   Posted on Apr 9th, 2009

    They are boring people into not getting high.

  3. I’m going to wear a hat like that next time I get high!

  4. I can kinda believe the vodka tampons thing. My physiology teacher in college told us about how they would give each other vodka enemas, I am not making this up. Apparently the lining of your colon is the quickest way to get things into your blood stream other than mainline injection. That’s why it’s so easy to catch HIV through anal sex. So the inside of a snatch might work on the same principle.

    • did you just say ‘snatch’? what are you, my uncle?

    • The key flaw in the vodka-soaked tampon theory was I believe mentioned in the original post…tampons soaked in anything are not going to be inserted anywhere because they blow up enormously. It’s sort of the whole point!

      Douching with vodka could conceivably “work,” though I bet it would burn like hell (for information on alcohol and mucus membranes cf. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQm7YpxgOnA ) and set you up for the mother of all yeast infections.

  5. this guy is not even close to high, i couldnt do anything but laugh until i had to take my clothes off because i thought i was sweating

  6. steve  |   Posted on Apr 9th, 2009

    I like how they really don’t talk about how it harms anyone.. just that it briefly changes your mental state, and it lasts for like 5 minutes..

    10 bucks says they all smoked up after the show

  7. Euse  |   Posted on Apr 9th, 2009

    Well, obviously he sounds like an idiot, but if I were a high school kid home sick from school watching this, I would probably be like, “Whoa, a viewer in my body watching me! Not feeling like I’m in my body!” That sounds awesome.
    So, The Doctors, your work is in a long line of dorky experts who try to make drugs sound bad, but only open up whole new worlds of awesomeness to us. Thanks.

  8. i like how he totally puts the emPHAsis on the wrong syllABle when pronouncing hallucinogen. trippy!

    • I noticed that, too. A producer must have corrected him during a break b/c his pronunciation gets markedly better at 2:15.

      That’s right, folks. He’s a docTOR.

  9. This is a bummer. I wish they had gotten the salvia that can really fuck you up for this guy. It would have been a lot more entertaining.

  10. A friend of mine found the meaning of life whilst on salvia,
    Also, he rolled down a hill a lot.

  11. when i smoked salvia i couldn’t stop laughing and was transported to mario world

    this depiction is so FALSE

  12. I misread every instance of “salvia” as “saliva” and it wasn’t until I watched the video that I caught my mistake. I’ve never even heard of this before. Sigh…I miss the days when it was just pot and coke.

  13. Huey Lewis  |   Posted on Apr 9th, 2009

    I want a new drug…

    Well, here you go.

  14. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

  15. This would have way better if they injected him with heroin.

  16. Chadams  |   Posted on Apr 9th, 2009

    The warped pic at the top looks a little like John Francis Daley to me. i don’t know why & that’s not to say he’s not a handsome gentleman.

  17. Yep when I smoked that stuff, I too giggled and took my pants off. That was either all that happened, or I blocked the rest of that time out…

  18. jdar  |   Posted on Apr 9th, 2009

    set and setting: straight-laced man being walked into a TV studio full of people by the chain of his brain leash hat cap

    too bad they didn’t give him the higher potency stuff :(

  19. Hold up, doesn’t salvia render you unconscious? What the hell is this?

    Also, I missed the last minute because I was laughing too hard at “Coming Up Next: How Snorting Vodka Damages the Body.”

    This show is INSANE.

  20. Thanks for the info guys. You had me at “hallucinogenic”. And it’s legal! Woohoo. Sorry, gotta go. Got some shopping to do. But not before I thank you for a Great Job, Awesome PSA, thank you for your service. You are like some awesome telegenic Einsteins. Doogie had nothing on you.

  21. ZillaMonster  |   Posted on Apr 9th, 2009

    Well shit, that’s the best endorsement for smoking Salvia I’ve ever seen! It’s like “walking on clouds”…

  22. Dylan  |   Posted on Apr 9th, 2009

    They should have given him DMT. Machine elves FTW.

  23. Goddamit, I meant susceptible.
    And I’m not even high, go me.

  24. matt  |   Posted on Apr 10th, 2009

    getting high with this dude would be a drag (ha! a drag! get it?!)

  25. Next week, they give him MDMA and he tells the viewers how he his simultaneously missing and not not thinking about Charlie.

  26. If they want to have people not do drugs, they should show this guy doing drugs and explaining how he feels in the most boring way possible. This guy completely turns me off to salvia. If he got drunk and explained how it made him feel, I would probably hit him with a bottle and then quit drinking.

  27. Things I would not want to do while on salvia for the first time: walk into a small stadium full of people staring at me.

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