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When it comes to fake rap, the most obvious offenders are white people. Well, when it comes to anything, the most obvious offenders are white people. But silly middle-aged men in khaki trousers with their shirts tucked in throwing their hands out awkwardly as they explain how much their insurance company has enjoyed serving Southwestern Illinois are the faces of fake rap. The danger, though, is when you get lulled into complacency and begin to think that these are the only people writing fake raps. Not true! Fake rap knows no boundaries! Take, for example, a YouTube that made the rounds this weekend featuring the Poetic Prophet (AKA the SEO Rapper) explaining how proper web design and site functionality can improve your traffic and help you achieve your on-line business development goals:
This is cute and charming, and that’s exactly what makes it so insidious. Don’t let his terror beats or his multiply-oversized t-shirt fool you! This is not a real rap! This is a fake rap! End it. War is hell. (Thanks for the tip, Chris.)
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Don’t pretend you don’t see him there behind you Pam.
Everything he says is correct and true. That’s the surest indication that this is 100% FAKE rap.
This is somewhere in a purgatory that is stuck between Nerdcore and Fake Rap. Also he may know about website design but he isn’t in the know on lighting for a video.
I think I’ve discovered a clause which dictactes that fake rap is enjoyable only if it relates to your career. Because I liked this. Even if fake rap is the worst, this one is not the worst. (To me.)
Don’t lie, Gabe. You’d be so into a fake rap about updating blogs. Your mom would forward it to you in an e-mail, asking you what a blog is. Let’s be frank.