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It is easy to laugh at this new study that has determined most people will give up on a video if it takes longer than two seconds to load, but I legit almost throw my computer out of the window every single day for things like stalling for a few seconds while I have a million tabs open and 90% of them are just Courtney Stodden GIF walls, so WHO AM I TO JUDGE? From Gizmodo:
According to the recent study, based on 2.3 million views by 6.7 million unique users, users will start abandoning “short” videos after two seconds, and that 20 percent have moved on after five seconds. As far as the study is concerned, “short” equals “less than 30 minutes,” so you can probably imagine the migration happens even faster when you’re talking about a one or two minute clip. Viewers waiting for longer flicks (probably films) are willing to put up with a lot more BS.
It sounds like an exaggeration of what you’d actually guess, but it ALSO sounds about right. 2 seconds is definitely enough time to realize you’re wasting enough of your life watching garbage videos on the Internet to waste any more of your precious few Earth seconds waiting for them to load. (Only to, I assume, go seek out a new video that will load instantly.) But does this seem true to you? What about your life? What happens in your life? How are you doing? Who are you wearing? PLZ VOTE IN OUR POLL.
Loading ...Thank you for voting. Four more years! Of our lives spent loading and watching Internet videos!
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The poll wouldn’t load so I have abandoned Videogum and will spend all my internet time at Celebitchy from now on.
How long before I throw my computer out a window? Well, the last WMOAT entry was August 1, 2011, so 469 days and counting, I guess.
I FINALLY caught an episode of Couples Therapy starring DOURTNEY this weekend. A let me say, what a masterpiece of garbage cinema it is.
The episode I saw was everyone complaining about how obnoxious DOURTNEY was (were?) (they had left the show because they were being “bullied”) and then the therapist YELLED at them all for being rude to them (cool therapist, cool show).
AND THEN! The “next time on Couples Therapy” segment showed DOURTNEY COMING BACK!
PERFECT. TELEVISION.
i need to read my comments for typos before i hit submit hesus chrizt.
Dourtney is our generation’s Speidi. AV Club actually has a really great article about how Courtney Stodden is the result of a generation that grew up on reality television. It makes me sad for the world.
link plz?
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
rude.
IN CASE ANYONE WANTS IT:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/why-couples-therapy-and-courtney-stodden-epitomize,88565/
(i still love you facetaco.)
I love you too, that’s why I just taught you to fish. Now if you ever want me to teach you how to phish, I can do that too, but I’ll need some money for dynamite first.
Now that I’ve actually read the article:
I don’t know how I feel about this. While we can say that Stodden, more than other teenagers (yikes she’s only a teenager!) is shaped by reality television and recapitulates those television tropes in her stylized modality of being-in-the-world (yikes i went to grad school can you tell), I fear that we are holding her as a symbol of what is “unreal”, when, in fact, everyone is equally as unreal as her.
I tend to be on Baudrillard’s side of these kinds of issues; for me it’s like his Disneyland argument: Disneyland exists as a “fake” world to reaffirm that the rest of the world is “real” when in fact EVERYTHING is as “fake” as Disneyland. We say that Stodden is fake and plastic (she is!) to reaffirm that the rest of us are not fake and plastic, when in fact EVERYTHING is fake and plastic (but maybe less…sticky?).
dad move
If there was an option that said, “I will wait 5 seconds before refreshing the window, then an additional 5 before abandoning the video altogether. I might check my internet connection if the next page I go to also does not load. If it was my internet connection, I will go back and try the video again and if it doesn’t play instantly, I will abandon the video, or if a commercial begins playing that is longer than the clip I wish to watch, I will abandon the video immediately,” I would’ve voted for that.
This is computer related, so therefore somewhat on topic, but holy moly did anyone else see the story about the McAfee Anti-Virus founder? Went crazy, moved to Belize, built a drug lab with local criminal elements to purify weird rape-drugs, possibly / probably murdered his neighbor? Yiiiiiiikes.
First the Elmo allegations and now the McAfee guy?! The Mandarin was right: “Lesson No. 1: Heroes. There is no such thing.”
I read that “/” as an italicized “I” and the internet was a very confusion place for a moment.
I HATE it when things turn into confusion places!
Spoiler alert: I am the McAfee guy and that comment was my confession.
Well, you gave us a spoiler alert so fair play, but even still I would have liked to watch your Lifetime movie without knowing how it turns out.
All I know is that the Powerpoint inventor(s) should spend the rest of their natural lives in a chain gang.
With the guards using laser pointers to specify which rocks they want them to smash.
“If you look over here, you’ll see that this very big rock needs to be broken down into littler rocks.”
The Norton guy had a vacation house in a town I worked in. He drove a Segway around. One year, his house caught fire. They filmed it and the next year projected it outside? Dude was a dick, but not nearly as nuts as McAfee guy.
Didn’t the actual Segway guy ride his Segway around off-roads in the dark and, eventually, off a cliff? Guys be crazy.
I made my last computer into a molotov cocktail.
This poll result might be thrown off by NJ/NY residents who might have to wait until the end of the second Obama administration before they can even find what’s left of their computers.
I am pretty inured to stuff like this because I recently moved into an apartment that has the worst Internet connection. It works for ten seconds and then doesn’t for twenty. It’s always in this torturous cycle of working and then not working. So if I want to watch a Youtube I’m going to have to settle in for a while. It’s the worst! Also, my cable’s weird. I get CBS but no NBC or ABC, but then I also get fuzzy HBO. Perfect cable package.
I see that I am the ONLY person to choose “I will wait over one hour if I have the time.” You guys, the key is to not stare blankly at the “buffering” screen the whole time. You can move to a different tab, do something else, then come back an hour later, stare at it for just 0.5 seconds, then go to a different tab, etc. Some videos I will wait 2-3 days this way, only closing their tab when I realize I have no recollection what that video was going to be. It’s a system.
This is what I do when watching Gossip Girl episodes on the CW site. The playback is ok on the actual episode, but the commercials are choppy which makes them way more annoying than regular ads.
I play a crossword puzzle in a different tab with the volume off until a see a glimpse Serena or Chuck.
This is also known as the Napster approach.
Here, I made this video to express how I feel about this topic. Please watch:
This is taking too long!!
666 huh?
I think I recognize the girl in that picture.
I answered “I do not watch Internet videos” because I thought I’d be the one person to vote for that on this site about Internet videos (I totally watch Internet videos). WHO ARE ALL YOU OTHER LIARS?
Don’t look at me, I don’t even have a computer.
I live in the ninth century and I’m a Viking. What’s a computer? Some kind of longship? Do you use your Internets for catching many, many fish?